


The Snorkackic Trio

by TomHRichardson



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Albus Dumbledore Bashing, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, BAMF Harry Potter, BAMF Hermione Granger, BAMF Luna Lovegood, BAMF Minerva McGonagall, Book 5: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, F/M, Ginny Weasley Bashing, Hogwarts Fifth Year, Molly Weasley Bashing, Ron Weasley Bashing
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-09
Updated: 2021-03-08
Packaged: 2021-03-14 01:26:14
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 18
Words: 69,682
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28663152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TomHRichardson/pseuds/TomHRichardson
Summary: AU. August 1995, when Harry and Dudley are attacked by Dementors, Luna and Hermione are at the playground too. The girls are too young to do magic to help Harry, but they are reliable eyewitnesses, and this makes all the difference afterwards. This summer, Hermione has defied Dumbledore’s orders to not write to Harry.This is an H/Hr story in which both Harry and Hermione befriend the strange blond Seer girl, Luna Lovegood.
Relationships: Hermione Granger & Luna Lovegood, Hermione Granger/Harry Potter, Luna Lovegood & Harry Potter, Sirius Black/Amelia Bones
Comments: 330
Kudos: 682





	1. No Trip to Sweden

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Three ways this alternate-universe story is different from canon—
> 
> 1) When Dumbledore appears before the Granger family at the beginning of summer 1995, and wants to take Hermione to a place where she is “safe” (meaning, Grimmauld Place), the parental Grangers refuse permission.
> 
> 2) Luna Lovegood gets a Seer vision about Harry and Dudley being attacked by Dementors; and Luna acts on her Seer vision in a way that helps Harry. (Also, Harry rescued Luna from Ravenclaw bullies in fourth year, not fifth year.)
> 
> 3) On the day that Harry and Dudley are attacked by Dementors, Tonks gets a “hunch” (low-power Seer vision) that Mundungus Fletcher has skived off guarding the Privet Drive house. Tonks Apparates to the house, finds it unguarded and begins guarding it. As her hunch did not tell her that Harry has left the house, she is not at the playground when Harry is attacked there. It is possible that the same thing happened in canon, and that when Harry and Dudley returned to the Privet Drive house in Chapter 2 of _OOTP_ , that invisible Tonks was standing nearby and was watching events unfold without Harry knowing she was there.
> 
> ****
> 
> This story contains bashing of Albus, Molly, Ron and Ginny. If this is not your sort of story, stop reading now.

**Saturday, 1st July 1995, evening**  
**The end of the Hogwarts term  
** **Platform 9¾, King’s Cross station**

Once all three Hogwarts students were off the train, Luna Lovegood gave a hug to her _friend_ Harry Potter, and to her friend’s friend Hermione Granger. Hermione Granger looked surprised when Luna hugged her.

Then Luna hurried to pull her trunk to where her father, Xenophilius Lovegood, was standing.

At which time, Luna let go of the handle of her trunk so that she could give a _fierce_ hug to her father. Who just as fiercely hugged Luna back.

“My Moonbeam has returned,” he said happily.

It was said often in Wizarding Britain that “Purebloods don’t hug.” Nonetheless, father and daughter hugged right there on the magical train platform, despite the frowns of Lucius and Narcissa Malfoy, who were standing nearby.

When the hugs ended, Xenophilius asked Luna, “Would you like to eat dinner in the Rookery, in Diagon Alley or in Sweden?” The Lovegoods had made plans to spend Luna’s summer holidays in Sweden, seeking the elusive Crumple-Horned Snorkack.

Now Luna sighed, as she looked her father in the eyes. “Daddy, I can’t go to Sweden this summer. Harry Potter will need me here.”

“Harry Potter, he rescued you from those Ravenclaw bully girls, right?”

Luna beamed. “He did. Then he told me that I was a _friend_.”

“Friends always are nice to have.” Xenophilius hugged his daughter again. “Meanwhile, this summer, what does Harry Potter need you here for?”

“He needs me to watch him fight off an attack next month.”

Xenophilius looked alarmed. “Does he want you to fight alongside him? You’re underage to do magic outside of Hogwarts.”

“Don’t worry, Daddy, I’ll only watch the fight, not myself fight. As for Harry Potter, he doesn’t ‘want’ anything from me, because he doesn’t know he has a fight in his future. But he’s _definitely_ going to need me, and soon. I’ve Seen it.”


	2. An Unwanted Visitor

**Two days later  
** **Monday, 3rd July 1995, evening  
** **Two days into Hermione’s summer holidays**  
**The Granger house, dining room  
** **Crawley, West Sussex, England**

Hermione was using her _Parents, you’re getting excited over nothing_ tone of voice. “Dad, there was no need to worry. The magic kept me asleep and _not breathing_ till I broke the surface of the water.”

“That isn’t the point, Princess,” Dan Granger said angrily. “You’re not old enough to give informed consent, and Emma and I weren’t even _asked_. What they did was illegal, and you could have _died_. And for what? _Entertainment_. You were part of the _entertainment_ for a crowd of wizards.”

“Besides,” Emma Granger said, “it sounds like they didn’t even bother getting the consent that you couldn’t legally give. They tricked you into going to Professor McGonagall’s office, someone put you to sleep, and the next thing you knew, you were in the lake up to your neck.”

Then Emma tapped her chin with her fingertip. “Two years ago, when you were unconscious for weeks with a disease, what was the name of the disease again, dear?”

Hermione had not expected this question. She stammered, “Erm, it was, er, Whatchacallit Flu—Unicorn Flu.”

Dan snorted. “Princess, you want to try that again?”

Hermione’s shoulders slumped. “It was a basilisk. I looked at a basilisk that was reflected in a mirror. If I’d seen the basilisk directly, it would’ve killed me instantly—”

Both Dan and Emma gasped.

“—but seeing the basilisk in a mirror, I got turned into a stone statue only for a while. Just temporarily. Only a month.”

Dan Granger’s expression was thunderous.

Hermione grabbed his arm. “But Dad, as soon as the school could make Mandrake Restorative Draught, this cured me. And before then, Harry Potter visited me in the infirmary every day, which was brilliant.”

Dan asked his daughter, “And the ‘rabid dog’ that attacked you in the girl’s loo in 1991—was that really a _dog_ that Harry Potter saved you from?”

Hermione looked down at the roast beef on her dinner plate. “No, that was a twelve-foot-tall mountain troll.”

“A troll,” Dan said with forced calm. “Like in the fairy tales. A _troll_. You were attacked by a _troll_ in the _school_.”

The dining room was silent. Hermione did not dare breathe, and her parents were “conversing” with looks across the table.

Emma said, “Meanwhile, Europe has two other magical schools. One with a French name and one with a German name. Since you already speak some French, Hermione—”

Hermione begged, “Oh no, _please_ no, _please_ don’t take me out of Hogwarts! This is why I downplayed everything that has happened to me—”

 _Foom_. Suddenly there was a flash of fire nearby. Two feet away from the table, Professor Dumbledore suddenly stood there, with Fawkes the phoenix on his shoulder.

“Ah, Mr and Mrs Granger, Miss Granger, good evening,” Professor Dumbledore said.

****

Hermione’s father snapped, “Address us both as ‘ _Doctor_ ,’ headmaster. Such is the proper address for _dentists_ , which both Emma and I are.”

“Of course, my apologies,” Dumbledore said in a patronising tone, as he waved Dan Granger’s words away.

“Why are you here, professor?” Hermione asked, being completely unable to guess.

Dumbledore replied confidently, “With the return of Lord Voldemort a.k.a Tom Riddle, you are in danger, Miss Granger. I’ve come to take you to a place of safety.”

“What place?” Emma demanded.

“Hermione just came home!” Dan said. “How long would you be taking her for?”

Dumbledore replied, in a condescending tone, “A townhouse in London that is under a Fidelius Charm. Meaning that until the Secret Keeper tells you it’s there, you can neither see the townhouse nor magically detect it. Miss Granger will stay there from now till the start of the next school term.”

Dan said, “Except for Christmas and Easter hols, we’ve not seen Hermione for _ten months_. Explain to us, using small words, why we won’t see Hermione till the next Christmas hols—unless you decide that Hermione still is in super-danger then, and must be hidden away during _those_ days off as well.”

“I assure you, Mr Granger—”

“ _Doctor_ Granger.”

“—that Miss Granger is in grave danger. She is a close friend of Harry Potter, whom Lord Voldemort is determined to kill.”

Hermione said, “If you’re going to take me, take my parents too.”

Professor Dumbledore said, “I’m afraid such a thing is impossible.” The headmaster did not explain why.

Emma stared at the headmaster. “I don’t know why you’re here, I don’t know what your agenda is, but I’m sure that you _aren’t_ here because you’re worried about Hermione’s safety. Your school, sir, is a _deathtrap_ for Hermione.”

Dan snarled, “You put our daughter at the bottom of a bloody _lake!_ In _February!_ ”

“Mr and Mrs Granger, I assure—”

Hermione interrupted, “It’s _Doctor and Doctor_ Granger, professor.”

“I assure you that Hermione was completely safe.”

Dan said, “I’m with Emma—I think you’re up to something with Hermione, and I think you’re shading the truth with us. Permission _denied_.”

“I’m disappointed with both of you.” Dumbledore’s look matched his words. “Don’t you care about your daughter’s well-being?”

Dan said, “Get. Out. But before you do, know that before you _trespassed uninvited_ into our home, this family was discussing transferring Hermione to ... that French school?”

“Beauxbatons,” Hermione said, feeling worried.

Hermione saw the headmaster’s eyes widen. Professor Dumbledore said, “If Miss Granger goes to Beauxbatons, that school won’t be expecting a surprise attack from Lord Voldemort. Your daughter will be defenceless.”

Hermione’s father replied, “So you claim. In any case, if Hermione goes to Beauxbatons, I’m _sure_ she won’t get her head bashed in by a troll. Or turned into a statue.”

Emma said, “We’re only now finding out about dangers that Hermione has faced at Hogwarts. We can only _wonder_ about the dangers she’s faced that she has _kept quiet about_. Meanwhile, what has your school told us, in official letters? _Nothing_. Nothing about the troll, or the basilisk, or putting her at the bottom of the lake. Sir, it is _disgusting and shameful_ for parents not to be informed of problems like these. Which is _your_ fault, sir. So every minute you stand here, Professor Dumbledore, you convince me more firmly that as long as _you_ are in charge of Hogwarts, our precious daughter should not be anywhere near your school.”

“But what about Harry?” Hermione asked in a small voice. “If you take me out of Hogwarts, I won’t see Harry except during the hols.”

Professor Dumbledore said, “Mr and Mrs Granger, I really must insist that you let me take Hermione now to the protected townhouse. She is in _danger_ if she doesn’t go.”

Hermione said, “What _exactly_ is the danger to me? What do you know? Tell us.”

The headmaster’s eyes actually twinkled. “I’m afraid I can’t share that information with you.”

“Then I too am afraid—that I shan’t go to ‘the safe place’ with you. I think you should leave now.”

“Very well. But Miss Granger, I must remind you that, for Harry’s own good, you must not bother him with letters this summer. Harry has asked me to tell you and Ron to let him grieve in peace.”

To Hermione, something seemed off about the headmaster’s words. Still, Professor Dumbledore was older and wiser than Hermione herself, so she repeated her promise from days ago: “Fine, I won’t write to Harry, and I won’t send replies to whatever letters that Harry writes to me.”

“Delightful,” Professor Dumbledore said.

 _Foom_. With a flash of flame, Professor Dumbledore and Fawkes departed.

****

**A second later**

Dan Granger asked, “Princess, didn’t you tell us that Harry watched a boy _die_ , only a week ago?”

Hermione replied, “Yes, Cedric Diggory, who was murdered by Voldemort.”

“Back when I was in the Falklands, whilst taking the queen’s shilling, I saw two friends die. Afterwards, I _needed_ my mates near me to talk with. So I don’t _at all_ believe that Harry told Dumbledore, ‘Tell everyone to not bother me.’ ”

“Why would the headmaster lie about this?”

“Why would the headmaster tell us that you must leave us two days after you got here, to be gone for the entire summer, trust me? Answer: he’s secretive about his purposes, and sometimes I think he lies.”

Hermione asked, “So what should I do?”

Emma answered, “Write to Harry and ask him if he wants you to leave him alone, and promise to not write him anymore if indeed this is his wish. But I’m willing to bet the price of a root canal that his reply will be, ‘No, _please_ don’t stop writing me, I need to hear from you.’ ”

Hermione nodded. “This sounds like a plan.”


	3. Two Dementors, One BAMF Patronus

**Minutes later  
** **Still Monday, 3rd July 1995**

Hermione wrote to ask Harry for his telephone number and Royal Mail address, after writing down her own.

Harry wrote back with his telephone number. “My post address is Number 4, Privet Drive, Little Whinging, Surrey—but _please_ don’t ring my doorbell.”

Harry and Hermione owled each other two more letters before an annoyed-looking Hedwig returned to the Granger house with Hermione’s undelivered letter to Harry.

****

The evening after Hedwig returned to the Granger house with Hermione’s letter undelivered, Professor Lupin rang the Granger doorbell.

Professor Lupin’s message? “By owling letters to Harry, you are endangering both him and you, and you should stop this.”

Hermione’s reply? “Is this truly your own opinion? Because I know you’re smarter than this. I think you’re letting the headmaster do your thinking for you.”

As Hermione was walking Professor Lupin to the Granger house’s back door, she added, “By the way, tell Ron and Sirius that Harry is angry at them. Tell Lord Black what Harry said: ‘This is twice you’ve blindly obeyed the headmaster instead of doing the right thing for your godson.’ ”

Hearing Hermione’s words, Professor Lupin’s jaw dropped.

****

**Five minutes later  
** **At Number 12, Grimmauld Place**

Sirius Black felt shame, down to his bones, when Remus repeated Harry’s message. Sirius proceeded to drink an entire bottle of firewhisky—

For which, Dumbledore told Sirius that he was disappointed in him, and Molly expressed her own opinions—loudly.

What shocked everyone was when Sirius—who was technically Lord Black, though nobody but Harry and Hermione showed him the respect that such a title deserved—told Dumbledore, Molly and Remus that they had _one minute_ to leave Grimmauld Place. Sirius then told the three that one minute from now, Sirius would remove their names from the ward ledger; and at this time, if any of the three were still in the townhouse, he or she would be _instantly and painfully_ evicted.

Remus left quietly, seconds later. Dumbledore and Molly actually had the gall to try to browbeat Sirius whilst he was standing there and holding the open ward ledger in one hand and a quill pen in the other hand.

But both Dumbledore and Molly flooed away before they were magically evicted. Sirius felt disappointment.

****

**Meanwhile in Crawley**

Fortunately, Hermione’s Plan B, corresponding with Harry by using Muggle post, worked. Soon Hermione was acting as postmistress, enabling Harry and Neville, and Harry and Luna Lovegood, to likewise exchange letters.

The correspondence between Harry and Luna began strangely. Three days after the headmaster visited all three Grangers, Hermione received a Royal Mail-delivered letter that was addressed to her. Inside the outermost envelope was a stamped and sealed letter to Harry (with the address left blank on the envelope), and a cover letter to Hermione.

The writer introduced herself to Hermione as Luna Lovegood, the Ravenclaw witch who was a year behind Harry and Hermione, and who had surprise-hugged both Harry and Hermione after the Hogwarts Express had arrived at King’s Cross Station. Hermione remembered that Luna was the girl who said strange things in the Great Hall.

Anyway, Luna wrote to Hermione that Harry this past year had rescued Luna from Cho Chang and two other Ravenclaw bullies, so now Luna was offering Harry support when he needed it.

Whilst Harry and Hermione were exchanging letters via Royal Mail, Neville and Luna, besides using Hermione as a conduit to get letters to and from Harry, also began to owl letters to Hermione herself.

Two things about Luna’s letters to Hermione were strange—

First, Luna made mention of magical animals that went unmentioned in every one of Hermione’s COMC textbooks.

Second, Luna on 11th July, _correctly_ predicted the two days when drought-stricken Crawley would get rain between 15th July and 31st July. Not even the British weather experts at the Met Office could do this!

****

**Almost a month later  
** **Wednesday, 2nd August 1995, 8:33 p.m.  
** **The Granger house**

Orange sunlight was horizontally streaming through the windows when Hermione heard a _BANG!_ sound that came from the street—a sound that was painfully loud, even when heard inside the house.

Half a minute later, the doorbell rang. Dan Granger went to answer the door.

Seconds later, Hermione’s father led a teenaged girl into the house; she had long, white-blond hair and grey eyes. “Princess,” Dan Granger said, “you’ve a visitor.”

The blonde gave Hermione a dreamy smile. “Hello, Hermione Granger, I’m Luna Lovegood. It’s good to see you again.”

Hermione asked, “Luna, what are you doing at my house? It’s late.”

Luna replied, “Harry needs help from your parents, you and me. Or rather I should say, Harry will need our help in not quite an hour from now. If you have chocolate in your house, bring lots of it.”

Horrified Hermione repeated, “ _Chocolate?_ ” Hermione thought, _Harry is facing Dementors?_

Both Dan and Emma went all parental—“Nobody’s going anywhere!”—until Hermione pointed out that Luna had correctly predicted when Crawley would get rain; so was it not _reasonable_ that Luna could correctly predict when Harry would find trouble?

Hermione’s argument carried. Dan Granger’s BMW sedan, with two adults in the front and two teen girls (and a box of chocolates) in the back, was rolling down the driveway by 8:40.

The sun was setting.

****

**9:23 p.m.  
** **Little Whinging, Surrey**

Dan parked his car in front of Privet Playground, and everyone left the car. Lighting for the playground now was by electric streetlamps; stars were easily visible in the black sky.

Luna took charge. “Hermione Granger, if you have your wand with you, _don’t_ use it. I won’t be using mine. You and I _dare not_ use magic tonight. _At all_.”

“Then why are we here?” Hermione asked. “You implied Harry will be facing _Dementors!_ ”

“We’re here to be witnesses for what is about to happen. _Dementors_ aren’t the danger to Harry Potter tonight.”

The four people tried, with the expected lack of success, to hide behind a tree as they watched what was going on, on the playground—

—which turned out to be five teenaged boys speaking scornfully to a sixth boy, who was sitting on the only swing of the swing set that was not broken.

The biggest of the five standing boys said something in a commanding voice to the other four, who left. This left only the one standing boy (who was _big_ in every sense), and the boy who was sitting on the swing—

Hermione gasped. “Mum? Dad? The boy on the swing, _that’s Harry_. Luna was right.”

Luna said, “You lot watch carefully now.”

The bigger boy mocked Harry about his “boyfriend Cedric.” Hermione wanted to march over there and slap him.

****

Whilst Harry was being threatened by Dudley, and was insulting Dudley in return, he noticed an amazing thing. Watching him from behind a tree were two teen girls—one of whom looked exactly like Hermione, and the other was a dead ringer for Luna. When Harry, a month from now, would see Hermione and Luna on the Hogwarts Express, he would need to tell them that they each had a Muggle twin in Little Whinging.

But then all thoughts of witches’ Doppelgangers fled from Harry’s brain as he felt cold. _Deep_ cold.

Dudley was rubbing his arms to stay warm. “Bollocks, it’s _August_ , dammit.”

Harry looked about. By the playground’s bright artificial light, Harry saw two Dementors, above him and north of him. The Dementors were swooping down on him and Dudley.

As Harry drew his wand—Dudley’s eyes went wide—he faced the Dementors but called over his shoulder, “Dudley, run to the house with everything you’ve got.”

****

Hermione and Luna both gasped.

“What’s wrong?” Dan asked. “What’s happening?”

Hermione quickly moved between her parents and took their hands. Now it was the Muggle dentists who gasped. Emma asked, “What are those _things?_ ”

“ _Dementors_ ,” Hermione explained. “They can suck out your soul and leave you brain-dead, all in less than a minute.”

Hermione saw the big boy run away from Harry. He did not get far before a Dementor caught up with him.

“ _NO!_ ” Harry yelled. He pointed his wand at the Dementor who was attacking the other boy and yelled, “ _Expecto Patronum!_ ”

All that came out of Harry’s wand was a silver mist. It was enough to make Harry’s Dementor pause, but it did nothing to bother the other boy’s Dementor. The other Dementor knocked down the running-away boy, rolled him onto his back and began to Kiss him.

Then Hermione saw Harry turn his head away from the deadly spectacle in front of him, for only a second. But in that second, Hermione was sure that Harry was looking across the playground, right into her eyes.

Then Harry yelled “ _Expecto Patronum!_ ” a second time.

This time an adult stag emerged from Harry’s wand. The stag was full-sized, glowing a silver colour, and opaque. Even as far away as Hermione was from the patronus, she suddenly felt happier.

The Dementor that was about to attack Harry, tried to flee instead. The stag-patronus flew over to the monster and rammed his silver antlers into the Dementor’s body.

The Dementor screamed, for a second. Then the Dementor went silent, before dropping to the grass.

The other Dementor had paused in his soul-sucking as soon as his best mate had started to scream. With the death of his friend, he too tried to flee. The Dementor was fast, but the stag-patronus was faster. The second Dementor screamed, then the second Dementor was ripped apart by the stag-patronus’s antlers.

Harry looked down at the two Dementor corpses on the grass, then the stag-patronus faded away. Harry put his wand back into his wand-holster, then he walked towards the Dementor-attacked boy.

“ _Whew_ ,” Hermione said, “Harry is safe.”

Luna corrected her: “Harry Potter is safe now from _Dementors_.”

Hermione understood immediately. “Harry Potter is a fifteen-year-old wizard who did magic outside of Hogwarts. Mum, Dad, come with me.”

Hermione all but dragged her parents by the hand, over to where the fallen boy, Harry and an _old woman_ were standing.

Hermione heard Harry ask the old woman, “Mrs Figg, you know about magic?”

The old woman replied, “I’m a Squib, dear. Professor Dumbledore sent me to watch over you.”

Harry said, “Yeah, like _that_ ever did any—Hermione! Luna! It’s really you? What are _you lot_ doing here?”

Hermione already had taken the box of chocolates out of her shoulder bag, and now was removing the cellophane. As she worked, she replied, “You should thank Luna for us being here now. In the meantime, are you magically exhausted, or can you call up another patronus?”

Harry gave Hermione a puzzled look. “I’m good for another one, but look about. I don’t _need_ another one.”

Hermione shook her head. “Yes you do. You need to send a _message patronus_ to Amelia Bones. Tell her that Harry Potter needs Aurors here ASAP.”

****

**Ten minutes later**

Harry noticed that Dudley was watching everything, and everyone, wide-eyed.

Amelia Bones and two red-robed Aurors (Dawlish and Shacklebolt) were on the playground, interviewing Harry, Hermione and Luna. Only Madam Bones interviewed the Muggles and the Squib (Doctors Granger, Dudley and Mrs Figg).

Madam Bones and the Aurors, as soon as they had arrived, had made much of something that Harry had not noticed at all: that each of the dead Dementors was wearing a medallion-necklace that had a number stamped into the medallion.

****

Right after the attack, Dudley had complained of being cold and feeling sick to his stomach; “but the worst part was that suddenly I was living my whole life over again, and I was _awful_.” Nobody could do anything about the thoughts that the invisible monster had put into Dudley’s brain; but Harry’s bushy-haired friend fed Dudley chocolates, and one of the policemen in red dresses gave Dudley a potion; now Dudley was feeling better—physically, at least.

When Harry laid his hand against Dudley’s bare arm so that Dudley could see the two dead Dementors, Dudley stared in shock. Dudley’s shock grew when it became clear that all the other frea— _magical people_ thought that Harry had done something quite exceptional.

****

Madam Bones said to Harry, “Help me out here; I’m trying to understand. Your first patronus fizzled—don’t feel bad, it happens to all of us. But your second patronus had mage-level power. What happened?”

Harry said, “With the first patronus, I was desperate, not happy. So the patronus didn’t work. But then I looked over at Hermione—except I didn’t know it was Hermione, I thought she was just some neighbourhood girl who happened to look like Hermione. Anyway, I looked at this girl and I recalled flying with Hermione on Buc—on a hippogriff’s back. This memory made me _so happy_ —happy enough that my patronus was turbo-charged.”

Hermione ran over to Harry and gave him a Hermy-hug, as Dudley stared anew.

****

Hermione was still hugging Harry, and Dudley was still staring, when an owl flew overhead with a parchment letter in its beak. The owl dropped the letter at Harry’s feet and flew away.

Seconds later, Harry snarled, “I’ve been _expelled?_ ”

Madam Bones calmly asked, “May I see the letter?”

Seconds later, Madam Bones looked at one of her Aurors. “It’s almost ten in the evening, and Mafalda Hopkirk couldn’t wait till the morning to sign this? This letter is dodgy. Dawlish, when we finish here, arrest Hopkirk for corruption, toss her in a holding cell till I can question her, and she is to be released on _nobody’s_ order but _mine_. Pass the word.”

****

**A minute later**

Auror Dawlish was standing in front of Harry, a parchment scroll and a quill pen floating nearby. The Auror said, “Now I need your home address.”

Harry said, “Erm, I think Dumbledore would go spare if I told you that.”

“ _Professor_ Dumbledore,” Hermione corrected.

Madam Bones asked suspiciously, “Why would the headmaster of Hogwarts care about you telling your home address?”

“Because first of all, he’s my magical guardian.”

“He is? Is he related to you? Because normally for a Hogwarts student, if you don’t already have a magical guardian who’s a relative, it’s your Head of House who becomes your magical guardian.”

“Like Professor McGonagall, in my case,” said Hermione.

Harry looked at Madam Bones and said, “I don’t know _anyone_ whom I’m related to in the magical world.” Madam Bones and both Aurors looked shocked. “But Dumbledore hasn’t told me he’s related to me.” Harry added bitterly, “But then, Dumbledore never tells me _anything_. Anyway, all I know is that when I came to Gringotts on my eleventh birthday, the headmaster had had the key to my trust vault, which he gave to Rubeus Hagrid for my shopping trip.”

Madam Bones choked. “ _The headmaster_ has your trust-vault key?”

Auror Dawlish said, “Look, I just need your home address, for my report.”

Harry snarled, “And what do I do when Lucius Malfoy knocks on my door, ten minutes after you _file_ your report? _Hm?_ Aurors don’t get paid much, I hear. Also, you’re wanting the address of _where I live_ , not my home.” Harry glared at Dudley and added, “That house isn’t my _home_ , and never has been.”

Madam Bones and the two Aurors suddenly looked alert. Bones said, “Wards just collapsed nearby! Dawlish, Shacklebolt, come with me!”

Bones and the Aurors ran out of the playground.

Dudley asked, “Where’d they go?”

Harry replied, “To our house. Are you up to walking home?”

Dudley needed to put his arm round Harry’s shoulders in order to walk home. The three Grangers and Luna walked behind the two cousins.

Dudley murmured, “Harry, I’ve been a right tosser to you. I’m sorry.”

****

**At number 4, Privet Drive**

When Harry and his parade arrived at his relatives’ house, he discovered that his uncle and aunt were yelling at Aurors Dawlish and Shacklebolt, and Madam Bones was having an angry conversation at the kerb with a pink-haired young woman. Oddly, none of the Dursleys’ neighbours were standing outside their houses and listening.

As soon as Aunt Petunia saw Harry and Dudley, she ran over to them. She yelled at Harry, “What did you do?”

Dudley answered, “We were attacked by _things_. I got cold and I got weird thoughts, but Harry saved me. He killed the _things_.”

Aunt Petunia glared at Harry. “I don’t believe any of that.”

Dan Granger said, “Believe it, madam. Tell me, are you one of Harry’s _abusers?_ ”

Aunt Petunia snapped, “Are you a _freak?_ ”

Hermione translated: “Dad, she’s asking if you’re magical.”

Emma Granger said, in a frightening voice, “No, dear, my husband and I are _dentists_ , and we’re legally required to report _child abuse_.”

Aunt Petunia’s face went white.

About this time, Harry got another owled letter—this time from Arthur Weasley. The letter basically said, “Stay there and don’t do any more magic. Don’t surrender your wand. Wait for Professor Dumbledore to fix this.”

Harry looked at Hermione. “Sod that! I’ll sleep on the steps of Gringotts, in the rain, before I’ll spend one more night in _this_ bloody place, magicless and small.”

“ _Language_ , Harry,” said Hermione.

By now, Uncle Vernon had waddled over. “ _For sure_ you’re not spending one more night here. I’m throwing you out, boy. You’re a danger to us all!”

“Now Vernon my boy, let’s not be too hasty,” said a voice that Harry did _not_ want to hear at the moment.

Harry looked at Hermione and Luna, and murmured, “Bloody hell.”

Then Harry said to Dumbledore, “Hello, professor. Now that you’ve been _sacked_ from the Wizengamot, are you enjoying all your free time?”

****

Dumbledore walked up to Harry and said confidently, “Harry, you must stay with your relatives. It’s for your own safety.”

Harry grinned at him. “Nope. You heard the man—he told me to leave, and he’s my Muggle guardian. Besides, I have no wish to stay one day more with Mr Walrus and Mrs Horseface.”

Petunia sputtered, and Vernon’s face turned red.

The whiskered wanker said, “Harry my boy, I’m your _magical_ guardian, so my wishes trump Vernon’s. _I_ say you must stay with the Dursleys.”

“Actually, Dumbledore,” said Madam Bones, “I’m not convinced that you’re Mr Potter’s magical guardian at all. In any case, have you forgotten the Triwizard Tournament? When you and two other Ministry officials forced Mr Potter to compete in a contest for _adult_ magicals, you made him _an adult_. Mr Potter is now _Lord_ Potter, as soon as he claims his ring.”

“What ring?” Harry asked.

Bones glared at Dumbledore. “Did you ever explain _anything_ to Mr Potter about his heritage?”

Harry said, “So I’m emancipated? That’s great. I’ll just swing by Gringotts tonight to get some money, then I’ll stay at the Leaky or someplace, till school starts again or till I find a house to live in.”

Dumbledore said, “Harry, neither of those options are _safe_. You need to stay with your uncle and aunt; and if not with them, then with your godfather Sirius.”

Harry said, “Gosh, what a choice. Live with my aunt and uncle, who starve me, beat me and overwork me”—three Grangers scowled—“or live with Sirius, who puts following your orders _above_ taking care of me? And you’re actually chattering about _safe?_ Headmaster, the Little Hangleton graveyard is safer tonight than any place _you’ve_ ever put me.”

Emma Granger said, “Harry, you can stay with us for the rest of summer hols. I don’t think Hermione will mind.”

“ _Yess!_ ” Hermione said, as she fist-pumped.

Dumbledore said condescendingly, “Mrs Granger—”

“ _Doctor_ Granger,” said Dan Granger with a snarl.

“—your house is not _safe_ for Harry.”

Harry snapped, “Neither is the Dursleys’ house. So what’s your point?”

Then Harry looked at the parents of grinning Hermione. He said, “Tomorrow, I’ll go to Gringotts and pay them sacks and sacks of galleons to ward your house. I’ll make it where not even a rat animagus can sneak in.”

Dumbledore said, “Harry my boy, I’ll be glad to escort you to Gringotts, and help you to understand what the goblins are telling you.”

“You’re offering to _listen in_ , you mean. Thank you for the kind offer, but no. It would be hard for me to discuss your possible misdeeds with the goblins if you’re eye-twinkling in the room at the time.”

Right then, Harry received yet another letter from the Improper Use of Magic Office. The new letter told Harry that he was not expelled after all, but he would face a disciplinary hearing at 9 a.m. on Saturday, 12th August.

Harry showed the letter to Luna and the Grangers, then showed the letter to Madam Bones—

—who assured Harry that she would be the person officiating the hearing. “You have nothing to worry about,” Madam Bones promised.


	4. Wouldyoubemygirlfriend?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The lyrics that Harry sings are from “Get Down Tonight” by KC & The Sunshine Band (1975).

**Still Wednesday, 2nd August 1995, almost 10 p.m.**

Harry went into the Dursley house for the very last time, to collect his things. When Uncle Vernon made noises about “Don’t steal anything that doesn’t belong to you, boy!” Harry felt annoyed.

So Harry asked Dan Granger if he would come into the house with him; Harry also asked the tall, dark-skinned Auror (Shacklebolt) to come into the house with him. After Harry removed all his school things from the cupboard under the stairs, he—still annoyed—“casually” remarked that this little space had been his bedroom from age fifteen months till the day he got his Hogwarts letter.

Both Dan and the Auror crawled through the cupboard door to look inside, as Harry gave his uncle and aunt a cruel smile. Both the Auror and Dan Granger looked angry when they were standing again.

By the time all of Harry’s things were removed from the Dursleys’ house, Emma Granger had brought the BMW to the bottom of the Dursleys’ driveway. Uncle Vernon scowled when he saw the Grangers’ car, which was more expensive than his own.

The pink-haired young woman, who apparently was an off-duty Auror, was tasked by Madam Bones with magically transporting Harry’s school trunk, his broom and his other goods to the Grangers’ sitting room. Harry spoke briefly with the young woman; he learned that she hated her given name. She evaded the question of why Madam Bones was angry at her.

Madam Bones offered to take Luna home. Harry said to Luna, with great sincerity, “Thank you for bringing the Grangers to witness me defending Dudley and myself against the Dementors. Without witnesses, I might really be in trouble now.” Harry tried to shake Luna’s hand, but he got a hug instead.

Harry shook Dudley’s hand, but ignored Dudley’s parents. Harry asked the Grangers for a business card, which he handed to his cousin. Harry told Dudley, “Contact the Grangers if you ever want to pass a message to me.”

Then Harry climbed into the back seat of Dan Granger’s car. As the car drove away, Harry made a point of looking at Dan, Emma and Hermione inside the car, and _not_ looking at the house on Privet Drive that he would never see again.

****

Harry still was feeling the effects of Dementor exposure. During the drive to Crawley, Hermione suggested that they stop at a supermarket and buy chocolate for Harry.

Harry responded with “You don’t need to do this. I don’t want to be a bother.” His excess humility was politely ignored.

Almost every kind of Muggle chocolate candy that Dumbledore had ever used as a password to his office, Hermione dropped into the shopping trolley.

The Grangers wound up spending over £30 on chocolates, and Harry would get first crack at them! What Harry felt about the Grangers’ generosity went far beyond shock.

Once the Grangers arrived at their house, Harry and Dan carried Harry’s things from the sitting room to the guest bedroom, which was just off the sitting room.

Harry desperately wanted to go to Gringotts tonight, before Dumbledore could make more mischief in his life, but this was not possible because now Harry was feeling tired. So Wednesday night, instead of Harry riding the Knight Bus to Gringotts, Harry and the Grangers sat about the Grangers’ kitchen table, ate chocolates and talked till everyone went to bed.

****

**Later that night**

Hermione, in her bed, heard Harry yelling from downstairs. If she could hear him at all, he had to be yelling _loudly_ in the guest bedroom.

As she ran down the stairs, she heard Harry yell, “ _NO, NOT CEDRIC! DAMN YOU, PETER!_ ”

She slipped into the guest bedroom and crawled onto the bed. She pulled the coverlet down enough so that Harry’s bare shoulders were exposed. Hermione wrapped her arms round Harry; he silenced immediately.

****

**The next morning  
** **Thursday, 3rd August 1995**

Emma was putting on makeup when Dan reported, “Hermione isn’t in her bedroom, or in the upstairs bathroom.”

When the adult Grangers came down the stairs, they checked the sitting-room sofa (no Hermione) and the kitchen (she was not there either).

When Dan Granger opened the guest-bedroom door, he discovered Harry in bed under the coverlet, and Hermione lying asleep atop the coverlet whilst dressed in her nightgown. Harry was awake, and was stroking Hermione’s bushy hair.

Dan was impressed. Reluctantly, unwillingly, but he was impressed. The lad had shown both devotion and restraint.

****

As soon as both teens were awakened, they went into a flurry of motion. They showered, wolfed down a quick breakfast and were soon out the door to catch the Knight Bus. Harry and Hermione walked into Gringotts before 9 a.m.

****

**At Gringotts**

Harry and Hermione met with the goblin Axefrenzy, who was the Potter account manager. At first Axefrenzy was angry, and Hermione could not guess why. Axefrenzy demanded to know why Harry had visited Gringotts only once before, and had never answered any of the letters that Gringotts had sent to Harry. This was soon straightened out, but in the process, Hermione’s disappointment with the headmaster grew.

Next, in answer to a question by Harry, Axefrenzy confirmed Madam Bones’s theory that Harry was emancipated because of the Triwizard Tournament, though he was only fifteen. Hearing this, Harry broke out into song—

_Oh, do a little dance,  
Make a little love,  
Get down tonight, get down tonight._

Hermione slapped him on the arm. “Harry, you’re singing _parents’ music!_ ”

Harry grinned. “Disco-dancing dentists, is Britain ready for that?”

Harry claimed his Lord Potter ring. He asked for (and received) a listing of his vaults and properties, including Potter Manor. He got a new trust-vault key issued, and ordered an audit of his vaults. He got the Trace removed from his wand.

He hired the goblins to ward the Granger house. He got his prior owl-mail redirect, redirected to Potter Manor. He read his parents’ wills, ordered copies made for Madam Bones and scheduled a public reading of his parents’ wills on Saturday, 19th August.

He canceled the betrothal contract that Dumbledore signed with Molly Weasley, concerning Ginny Weasley.

(Hermione huffed, seeing this betrothal contract. Harry did not look too pleased himself.)

Harry sold the corpse of the basilisk that he had killed. Both Axefrenzy and Hermione were shocked when they saw Harry’s memory of his battle with the basilisk. Axefrenzy promised that he would show the memory to Director Ragnok. Hermione wept after watching the memory, and she hugged Harry fiercely.

Whilst at Gringotts, Harry got some sort of dark-magic _thing_ called a “horcrux” removed from his scar, in a goblin ritual. Not only did Harry have to endure four hours of nonstop agony during the ritual, but his trust vault was charged twenty thousand galleons (£100 000). This was a price that made Hermione gasp, but Harry claimed he did not mind a bit—

Especially when both teens discovered that now Harry did not need glasses anymore.

Since Harry already was visiting the goblin healers, he got himself prescribed healing and nutritional-deficiency potions.

The goblin healers detected two blocks on Harry’s magical core. For two thousand galleons more, Harry had those two magical blocks removed.

****

That afternoon, as Harry and Hermione were about to walk out of Gringotts, Hermione said, “Just so you know, I liked you just as much before you became Lord Potter.”

Harry rubbed the back of his neck, a sign that he was nervous. “I like you too. In fact...”

Harry choked up; he could say no more.

Hermione repeated, “In fact...?”

“Wouldyoubemygirlfriend?”

“I’m sorry?”

“Would you be my girlfriend?” he asked, whilst staring down at the Gringotts lobby’s stone-tile floor.

“Do you really mean that?” she asked rhetorically, as she moved forward to kiss his cheek.

He intended to say _Yes_ , so he raised his head and turned his head, so that he would more easily look at Hermione.

Their lips met unintentionally.

In the Gringotts lobby, Harry and Hermione _glowed_ , as they were marked as soulmates.

****

In Malfoy Manor, the Dark Lord knew not what just had happened, or what it meant.

****

**At the Department of Magical Law Enforcement**

Harry was glad that Hermione came with him when he met with Madam Bones. He promptly gave Gringotts-certified copies of his parents’ wills to the director. He watched Madam Bones’s face show shock when she read that she was the Potters’ third choice to be Harry’s guardian.

This woman, in her thirties but prematurely grey, who was seemingly always in control, now looked ready to cry. “I loved Lily; she was one of my closest friends. James was my boyfriend’s best friend. If I’d become your guardian, I would’ve moved heaven and earth to give you a happy life, just like I strived to make Susan’s life happy.” Then her face showed anger. “But that _whiskered idiot_ never even _hinted_ that the Potters wanted me as your guardian!”

Harry said, “Wait, are you ‘Amy,’ Sirius’s one-time girlfriend?”

Madam Bones blinked in confusion. “Yes, I am—or rather, I was.”

Harry smiled at Hermione. “Finally, something has gone _right_ in my life!” He tapped the two wills on Madam Bones’s desk. “Please note that both wills refer to Sirius as ‘Harry’s sworn godfather,’ and both wills refer to _Peter Pettigrew_ , not Sirius, as the cottage’s Secret Keeper. My godfather is _innocent_ , and the proof is right there in black and white.”

Madam Bones smiled then. Harry decided that Sirius, were he here now, would think that Amelia Bones’s smile was beautiful.

****

Madam Bones took memories from Hermione about what she had seen during the Dementor attack, and about Hermione’s interactions with Sirius Black.

Madam Bones took memories from Harry about the Dementor attack and about Harry’s times spent with Sirius. Madam Bones looked like she wanted to hex Fudge into next year when she saw Harry’s and Hermione’s memories of trying to tell Fudge that Sirius Black was innocent— _and the blowhard refused to listen!_

Madam Bones then had to take memory strands from Harry about his time with the Dursleys. The only way that Harry managed to get through the process even a bit calmly was because Hermione was holding his hand the whole time.

Then Hermione surprised Harry. Whilst squeezing his hand _hard_ , she said, “Erm, Harry? Since we’re already making you suffer through bad memories, I think there is one more memory you should give Madam Bones: What happened to you after the Third Task, in that graveyard.”

Hermione explained to Madam Bones, “Our _wise_ , _intelligen_ t Minister for Magic and the _Daily Prophet_ both are calling Harry a liar because he claims Voldemort is back, but there were no witnesses. But there was _one_ witness: Harry himself.”

Madam Bones said, “Miss Granger, you truly _are_ the brightest witch of her age.”

Harry grinned at Hermione.

But Harry was _not_ grinning when he gave his memory of Cedric’s uncaring murder and Voldemort’s resurrection. After viewing that memory, Hermione was crying and Madam Bones’s face looked grim.

When Madam Bones had finished collecting memory strands, she dropped a bombshell—

“Mr Potter, Saul Croaker the Head Unspeakable is convinced that there is an active prophecy about you and You-Know-Who.”

Harry looked at her and said, “Would you please go with Hermione and me? What Fudge is basically saying about me and Voldemort is ‘Why should I believe anything he says? He’s just a kid.’ ”

“Yes, Mr Potter, I shall listen to the prophecy along with you and Miss Granger, if indeed you’re the subject of a prophecy.”

****

**Fifteen minutes later, in the Hall of Prophecies**

Harry could not tell what Unspeakable Croaker was thinking. But Madam Bones was looking grim again, and Hermione was weeping again.

And truth be told, if Harry did not have two adults and his best friend all staring at him at the moment, he would have started to cry too.

Even as tears streamed down her face, Hermione looked at Harry and said, “We’ll figure this out. We’ll _beat this_ , do you hear me? _You_ will be the wizard who’s left standing, Harry James Potter.”

****

**That evening, in the Granger house**

Amid the information that Axefrenzy had given Harry for Potter Manor were its “Apparation coordinates” (whatever those were) and the name of the head Potter house-elf: Greyclay. Now as three Grangers watched, Harry said, “Harry Potter, Lord Potter, calls Greyclay.” _Pop_. Greyclay appeared, wearing a house-elf-sized grey tuxedo. Greyclay looked older than Dobby.

Greyclay, unlike Dobby, was calm. Harry had to explain to the dental Grangers what a house-elf was. (Harry also had to endure a mini-lecture from Hermione.)

Greyclay, at Harry’s order, transported Harry and the three Grangers to Potter Manor.

It turned out that Potter Manor had four house-elves, but all of them (including Greyclay) were magically weak. Harry had to inject magic from his magical core into the four house-elves to make them magically healthy; but this in turn brought Harry close to magical exhaustion. Fortunately, Potter Manor had Pepper-Up Potion available (under stasis).

Once the house-elves were healthy, they gave Harry and the Grangers an owner’s tour of Potter Manor.

Potter Manor, Greyclay told Harry, has its wards down completely; the house was magically defenceless. Harry would need to contract with the goblins to get this particular problem fixed. Harry saw that the manor house had a corner of the roof caved in; and the manor house had a slit-shaped hole in the building, where two walls came together under the damaged roof.

During the owner’s tour, Hermione almost got herself killed in the Potter Library. Harry had to cast _Incarcerous_ (to the shock of the Muggle Grangers) in order to stop Hermione from pulling a family-magic-protected book off a bookshelf.

Whilst Hermione was tied up for the moment, Harry gave her a stern lecture about Potter-family magical protection on some of the books in the library. The lecture boiled down to: _If you touch books that are denoted by a ‘P’ at the bottom of the spine, and you are not a Potter, you die_.

Earlier, Hermione had snipped at Harry about “enslaving” house-elves; now in the library, once Hermione was freed from Harry’s magical ropes, Greyclay pointed out a “safe” book (a book that was not family-magic protected) about house-elves. The book that Greyclay pointed out had been written by Joanna McCartney-Potter, the Muggle-born wife of Haroldus Cyrus Potter. The book recounted everything that Lady Joanna had learnt about house-elves after interviewing Hogwarts house-elves and Potter house-elves. Now Harry let Hermione borrow the book.

After the Grangers toured Potter Manor, Harry had Greyclay take the visitors back to the Granger house (with Hermione gripping, two-handed, Lady Joanna’s book about house-elves). Harry bought Chinese takeaway for him and the Grangers to eat at their house, since Potter Manor had no food ingredients in it.

****

**Two days later  
** **Saturday, 5th August 1995, morning**

All three Dursleys were at home, enjoying a _normal_ Saturday, when the locked front door unlocked itself.

Aurors arrested all three Dursleys, for abuse of a wizard child. Madam Bones personally led the arresting team. Auror Second Class Nymphadora Tonks was _not_ a member of the arresting team; Madam Bones did not trust Auror Tonks not to go chattering to Dumbledore.

Once the Dursleys were in wizard custody, prospects did not look good for the parental Dursleys when Madam Bones learnt from the goblins that Dumbledore had paid the Dursleys a thousand pounds a month since November 1981 for Harry’s care; but (according to Vernon’s and Petunia’s Veritaserum testimony) the Dursleys had spent only £186 on Harry since 1981.

Prospects looked better for Dudley. Harry had owled Madam Bones that the day Harry had left the Dursleys, Dudley had shown “genuine remorse.”

But what all this would mean, once the three Dursleys were brought to trial, was anyone’s guess.

Madam Bones had insisted that the members of the arresting team swear an oath on their magic that _only_ in the hearing of each other and Madam Bones would they speak about the Dursleys’ arrests, or speak about evidence gathered during the arrests, before the Dursleys’ trial. As a result, the _Daily Prophet_ never learnt of Harry Potter’s Muggle relatives’ arrests until the Dursleys’ trials were held.

More importantly, because of the Aurors’ vow, Albus Dumbledore heard not a whisper that anything was amiss with the Dursleys till the day of their trial.

****

**Two days later  
** **Monday, 7th August**

Harry at the Grangers received an owl from Madam Bones. By order of the Minister’s Senior Undersecretary, Harry’s previously scheduled disciplinary hearing, with Madam Bones herself presiding on 12th August, had been changed to a trial before the full Wizengamot, in special session, on 12th August. The memo that Madam Bones had received from Senior Undersecretary Umbridge also had said, “We see no need to inform defendant Potter of the change of venue.”

However, Madam Bones assured Harry that his situation was not so bad as it seemed. _Un_ officially she was telling Harry about the venue change, and was further telling him that he still should appear at 9 a.m. on the 12th, but to come to Courtroom Ten, not to the DMLE offices.

Harry wondered, _What did Madam Bones mean when she wrote, “Your situation on Saturday will not be so bad as it seems now”?_

****

**Five minutes later, in Director Bones’s office**

Auror Second Class Don’t-Call-Me-Nymphadora Tonks was trembling as she stepped into the Director’s office. It was entirely possible that she would lose her job in the next five minutes.

As Tonks took a seat, Director Bones was looking at Tonks like the young Auror were a dog that had just vomited on the director’s desk. “Auror Tonks, let me remind you that by the oath you swore as an Auror, if you refuse to answer one of my questions, if you lie to me or if you intentionally mislead me, not only will you lose your job, but you also will lose your magic. Have I made myself clear?”

 _Gulp_. “Yes, ma’am. _Quite_ clear.”

“Let’s begin. Normally I do not care what my Aurors do in their off-time. But five nights ago, you were standing in front of Harry Potter’s house, under a DMLE-issued invisibility cloak, staring at his house. Meanwhile, Mr Potter was in a Muggle playground nearby, being attacked by two Dementors. There were four witnesses to the Dementors’ attack, but these witnesses could do nothing to help—two witnesses were Muggles, and two were underage witches who would’ve been expelled, and their wands snapped, if they’d lifted their wands. _You_ were the only magical person in the area who could’ve rendered aid, but what were you doing? Staring at a house. Let me impress upon you that if Mr Potter had _died_ , Auror Tonks, _you_ would be facing a DMLE disciplinary hearing, and it wouldn’t matter _one tiny bit_ that you were off-duty at the time.”

“Ma’am, I swear on my magic that I didn’t know that Potter wasn’t in the house! My shift didn’t start till midnight, but I had a hunch that I couldn’t shake, that Dung had skived off and so I should get there early. So I went there two and a half hours early. I wasn’t there when Potter left the house, but I was there when he came back.”

“Two questions. What do you mean by ‘my shift’? Senior Auror Bannon didn’t schedule you for work till 5 p.m. on 3rd August. And who is ‘Dung,’ who didn’t complete his shift?”

Tonks looked down. “Erm, I’m really not supposed to tell....” Then Tonks thought of what her life would be like if she lost her magic—for one thing, she would be stuck as a brunette for the rest of her life! “Okay, I belong to an organisation, the Order of the Phoenix. Its purpose is to fight You-Know-Who and the Death Eaters when the DMLE can’t or won’t fight them. Anyway, Professor Dumbledore has assigned several of us to guard Potter. That night, Mundungus Fletcher was scheduled to guard Potter till midnight—but like I said, he skived off.”

“Hold on, Dumbledore entrusted the safety of the Boy Who Lived to _Mundungus Fletcher?_ Convicted of theft and served several years in Azkaban, _this_ Mundungus Fletcher? Merlin on a mushroom, Dumbledore would’ve been smarter if he’d put up a _scarecrow!_ ”

“I agree, ma’am. Why do you think everyone else in the Order calls him ‘Dung’?”

“Very well. I absolve you of responsibility for events of 2nd August.”

Tonks felt relief.

Then Bones said, “However, you’re still in trouble.”

Tonks got a sinking feeling.

Bones asked, “Have you ever seen the Dursleys—the Muggle family whom Mr Potter lives with—abuse him?”

Tonks thought about that. “I’ve never been inside their house, and I don’t have Mad-Eye’s magic eye. But this past month or so, whilst he’s been doing yardwork outside, I’ve seen his uncle and his cousin each hit him without provocation, and heard his aunt yell at him. I’ve also heard him be told that _no_ , he may not come inside, even whilst the July weather outside was hot!”

Bones said, “I know that you didn’t report any of the abuse that you witnessed, to the DMLE. Did you report it to Wizard Child Protective Services?”

Tonks hung her head. “No, ma’am.”

“Which is a _big_ problem for me, but _this_ I’ll discuss a little later. Did you inform any agency of any _Muggle_ government about Mr Potter’s abuse?”

“No.”

“Did you report Mr Potter’s abuse to _anyone?_ ”

“Professor Dumbledore. I told him after an OOTP meeting.”

“What did he say then?”

“He told me that he would take appropriate action, and that he didn’t want me to tell anyone else unless I absolutely had to. Then, erm, he reminded me of my Order oath.”

“What exactly does this oath say?”

“It’s a personal oath of obedience to Albus Dumbledore. If I disobey him, I lose my magic.”

A full minute of silence passed. Then Bones asked, “What else have you kept silent about, due to your oath to Dumbledore, that you’d have reported if not for the oath?”

“There is something in the Hall of Prophecies that Professor Dumbledore thinks You-Know-Who will try to steal sooner or later, but I don’t know what the ‘something’ is.”

Madam Bones leant forwards, and her eyes bored into Tonks’s eyes. “WCPS has never made a home visit to Mr Potter’s house, to inspect the home where he is being raised, and can you guess why? _They don’t know where he lives_. Dumbledore never told them. Now, if sometime during this past month, you’d reported Mr Potter’s abuse, not only would your report have given WCPS the authority to rescue the boy from an abusive home, but your report would’ve given them the vital information they lack now: his home address. But you kept silent, on Dumbledore’s orders.”

“Yes, I did,” unhappy Tonks agreed.

“You aren’t obligated to report the threat to the Hall of Prophecies prophecy, but you _are_ obligated to report incidents of wizard child abuse that you’ve witnessed. As an Auror, you’re obligated to report Mr Potter’s child abuse, and you _failed to!_ Only by me showing _restraint_ are you not a Squib now.”

Tonks could only stare at the director in horror.

Bones pressed, “Unless you change things, the time will come when you face a no-win choice. If you do A, your Auror oath will cost you your magic. But if you do B, your oath to Dumbledore will cost you your magic.” Tonks groaned. “Luckily, I see a way to avoid this crisis.”

Bones slid a foot of parchment, a quill and a bottle of ink towards Tonks. “Write a note to Dumbledore. Tell him that you resign from the Order of the Phoenix, and that you no longer shall be bound by your oath of obedience to him.”

With Bones watching her closely, of course Tonks wrote the note as Bones had dictated. Bones promptly gave the note to a house-elf, to deliver to Dumbledore immediately.

Tonks felt mixed feelings, as she saw the house-elf _pop_ away with her note.

“Congratulations,” said Madam Bones, “you’ve saved your magical core and your job. Now, I have two orders for you. First, within forty-eight hours, you will turn in to Senior Auror Bannon a report that describes all the abuse by the Dursley family against Mr Potter that you’ve witnessed. With the written report, include memories.”

“Yes, ma’am, I’ll do that,” Tonks said.

“Secondly, and this is important, you will avoid speaking to Dumbledore if you can. But chances are, he’ll invent ways for you two to ‘accidently’ meet. If you can’t avoid speaking to him, you’ll do nothing illegal, either by your actions or inactions; and you’ll make no _promises_ to do anything illegal. If it will help you to stay resolute, whilst he’s speaking his honeyed words and trying to lure you into doing something dodgy ‘for the Greater Good,’ imagine me standing two feet away under an invisibility cloak, listening to your every word.”

“I will, ma’am.”

“Dumbledore loves to know secrets, whilst refusing to share his own. From now on, no matter what he asks about the DMLE or your work in it, I want your stock answer to be ‘Director Bones has forbidden me to discuss anything work-related with you.’ Can you do this?”

“I can, ma’am. I will.”

“Good. Now, I’ll tell this to Senior Auror Bannon in a few minutes, but you’ll have a special assignment next Saturday. Don’t disappoint me.”

“You can count on me, ma’am. I swear it.”

“Now, one final question, then I’ll let you go. Who are the other Aurors in the Order of the Phoenix?”

****

**Ten minutes later, at the Granger house**

Harry and Hermione were taking a break from studying; they were relaxing by watching a video in the sitting room.

The film was about an American teenager in 1985 who accidently traveled in an automobile-slash-time machine back in time. In 1955, he met his own parents, and accidently prevented his parents from starting a relationship. Even worse, his teenaged mother fancied him. At the end of the film, he had to meddle with the timeline deliberately in order to fix the change in the timeline he had caused accidently.

(For Harry, there was one distracting part about the film: Lea Thompson, the actress who played the hero’s mother as a teenage girl, had Hermione’s face.)

Whilst the video was rewinding, Harry and Hermione were discussing time travel and the paradoxes thereof, when the teens heard a _knock-knock-knock-knock_.

“Someone’s knocking on your door, I think,” Harry said.

“Why don’t they use the doorbell?” Hermione asked.

She walked to the front door and opened it. Nobody was there.

 _Knock-knock-knock-knock_.

Hermione realised, “Someone is knocking on our back door.”

“A wizard, I’ll bet,” said Harry.

Harry was close. The visitor was the young pink-haired Auror whom Harry and Hermione had seen at the Dursleys’ house, three days ago.

After the introductions were over, Auror Tonks said, “I’m here to tell you, Mr Potter and Miss Granger, that I’m here to take you both to the Ministry of Magic at quarter of nine on Saturday morning. Five trials will be held. Miss Granger will be a witness at as many as four of the five trials; you, Mr Potter, will be a witness at all five trials.”

Harry was confused. “I know I’m on trial for defending myself against the Dementors, but who else is on trial?”

Auror Tonks replied, “The Muggles you’ve been living with—”

“ _Yes!_ ” said Hermione.

“—but Director Bones didn’t tell me the other three defendants, only that you two might be called as witnesses.”

Harry and Hermione looked at each other blankly.

Auror Tonks now was looking at the floor. “I also, erm, came here to apologise. I’m related to you, Harry—my mum’s grandfather was the brother of your grandmother. I was a seventh-year Hufflepuff prefect when you two were firsties, and I wanted to introduce myself, but I never did.”

Harry said, “Do you know that I don’t know the name of _one_ living relative of my dad’s? I would’ve given up my _entire trust vault_ to meet you my first year. Why didn’t you introduce yourself?”

“Because of the headmaster. He told me that you were ‘overwhelmed’ by the wizarding world, and meeting a mob of brand-new relatives would only make the problem worse, so ‘for Harry’s own good,’ I should stay away. I’m sorry to say I was a pillock and believed him.”

Hermione sighed. “Tell me about it. The headmaster stood right in this house, a bit over a month ago— _uninvited_ , please note—and told me, ‘Miss Granger, I must remind you that, for Harry’s own good, you must not bother him with letters this summer. Harry has asked me to tell you and Ron to let him grieve in peace.’ Harry watched Cedric Diggory _die and Harry blamed himself_ , but I agreed to _not_ write him—till my parents talked sense into me.”

Harry said, “By the way, I told Mr Twinkle-Eyes nothing like what he claimed I’d said. He _lied_ to Hermione.”

Auror Tonks looked at Harry and Hermione and said, “My parents have told me to invite both of you to dinner tonight. Why should you two come? Harry, my mum is a first cousin of yours. My dad is a law-wizard, and you’ll do better at next Saturday’s trial if you’ve hired a law-wizard. Hermione, my father is a Muggle-born, same as you.”

Both Harry and Hermione quickly accepted Tonks’s invitation.

****

Hermione had to get the okay from her parents, but that evening, Harry and Hermione had dinner with all three Tonkses. Harry noticed that the Tonkses were quite a different magical family from the Weasleys.

Harry found out during dinner that Auror Tonks’s mother, Andromeda Black Tonks, had been looking for Harry since 1981, but Dumbledore had given Andromeda the runaround for fourteen years.

****

**Five days later**  
**Saturday, 12th August, 8:50 a.m.  
** **Courtroom Ten, the Ministry of Magic**

Auror Tonks escorted Harry and Hermione into the courtroom, ten minutes early. The teens would spend hours in the courtroom; for Harry, it would feel like days.


	5. Five Trials in One Day

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In canon, Harry’s disciplinary hearing, which was originally set to 9 a.m. on 12th August with Madam Bones presiding, was changed “at the last minute” to Courtroom Ten at 8 a.m., as a way to trick Harry into a conviction. In my story, I’ve made only one of these two changes: the venue changes to Courtroom Ten, but I’ve kept the original 9 a.m. start time. I figure that in canon, it was Dolores Umbridge who delayed sending out the official notice of the hearing’s change of venue and change of time till Saturday morning at 7:50 a.m.; alas for the Pink Toad, in my story, Dolores was not able to owl-post this message on Saturday morning for a reason that soon will be clear.

**Saturday, 12th August, 8:50 a.m.  
** **Courtroom Ten, the Ministry of Magic**

Harry was wearing his Lord Potter ring on his finger; but he had set the ring to be invisible. Nobody who did not already know that Harry was Lord Potter, would discover his lordship before Harry was ready to tell them.

Why was Harry wearing the Lord Potter ring today? Harry had no intention of strutting about the courtroom and saying _I’m Lord Potter, so I’m better than you_ , but the Lord Potter ring would warn Harry about harmful-intent potions being slipped into his drinks, and would block mind-magics.

Now in Courtroom Ten, Madam Bones walked over to Harry, Hermione and Auror Tonks as soon as they entered. Ted Tonks stood up from where he was sitting and he walked over to the other four people.

Madam Bones said to Harry, “Five trials are scheduled today. Yours is the first. You haven’t been arrested up till now and I won’t arrest you now, but know that when you sit in the testimony-chair during the first trial, the chains will wrap about your arms and legs. I can’t stop the chair from doing this. For the other four trials, if you’re called to testify, the chair will treat you as a witness, not as the defendant—the chains won’t restrain you. Do you understand?”

“No problem,” Harry replied.

At the front of the room were two tables, each with four chairs—all eight chairs were empty, and all eight chairs faced the front. Ted Tonks led Harry to the table on the left; the two wizards sat down.

****

**Ten minutes later  
** **Trial 1: Harry Potter, Defendant**

The Wizengamot special session started with announcements, which Harry ignored. Then Daphne Greengrass’s father Cyrus, who was serving as Chief Warlock, announced, “Today we will be holding five trials. The first defendant is Harry James Potter—”

People in the room began talking. Cyrus Greengrass had to gavel them quiet.

Greengrass ordered, “Mr Potter, please rise.” Both Ted Tonks and Harry stood up from the table.

Greengrass continued, “You are accused of performing the Patronus Charm”—gasps from the crowd—“in a Muggle area, performing magic in the presence of a Muggle and performing magic outside of school whilst still underage. The recommended punishment is expulsion from Hogwarts and snapping of your wand. Mr Potter, how do you plead?”

But then, instead of two wizards standing up at the Defence table, _three_ wizards stood there. Dumbledore said, “Harry pleads Not Guilty, Cyrus.”

****

Harry snapped, “Dumbledore, what the _bloody hell_ are _you_ doing here? Go away!”

Dumbledore, meanwhile, had put his hand on Ted Tonks’s shoulder. “Thank you, Ted, for your help thus far, but you’re dismissed. I’ll take over from here.”

Harry yelled, “Auror Tonks, get this man away from me! Put a wand in his face if you have to!”

As the pink-haired Auror tried to drag Dumbledore away, the headmaster gave Harry his _I’m so disappointed in you_ look. “Harry, you can’t dismiss me, but I can dismiss Ted Tonks; and both for the same reason: I’m your magical guardian.”

Ted said, “ _No_ , headmaster, the wills of James Potter and Lily Potter say you are no such thing. You are not even _sixth_ choice as Mr Potter’s guardian.”

Dumbledore said, “Whatever wills you claim to have for James and Lily, are _forgeries_. The genuine wills were sealed by the Chief Warlock.”

Harry said, “Not true. The official wills, _headmaster_ , _were_ sealed by the _former_ Chief Warlock, Albus Dumbledore. But my parents’ wills _aren’t_ sealed now.”

Ted said, “I asked the _current_ Chief Warlock, Cyrus Greengrass, to unseal the wills, and he was kind enough to do so.” Ted sketched a bow to where Chief Warlock Greengrass was sitting. “In the Potters’ wills, _headmaster_ , you are mentioned only as a _witness_.”

(Ted did not mention that yes, he had obtained copies of the Potter wills from the Ministry of Magic Records Office, after Chief Warlock Greengrass had unsealed the wills; but Ted just as easily could have obtained certified copies of the wills from the Potter Account Manager at Gringotts. This was another way that Harry and Ted were hiding from the court, the fact that Harry was emancipated and had claimed his inheritances.)

Now Dumbledore tried a new approach: “But Harry, I’ve been your headmaster for four years. I know you much better than Ted does—no offence, Ted.”

Harry said, “But I don’t _want_ you to represent me, headmaster. So go back to your seat and watch and listen. I guarantee you that you’ll learn something today.”

“Harry, I believe I can do a better job of representing you than can Ted. It is for your own good that I _insist_ today that I represent you.”

Harry shared a look with Auror Tonks. She pulled on Dumbledore’s arm and said, “ _Come_ , sir, I’m taking you to your seat now.”

Dumbledore shook off her hand on his arm. “I said something important to Harry, and I’m waiting for a reply.”

Harry looked about the courtroom till his eyes found Hermione’s. Hermione pantomimed a boxer-punch.

Harry murmured to Ted, “If he tries to interrupt me, hit him with a silencing spell.”

Harry now looked at Dumbledore. “You want to know why I _don’t_ want you representing me? Three years ago, I was falsely accused of being ‘the Heir of Slytherin.’ This was whilst a sixty-foot basilisk was running loose in the castle, petrifying people.”

Harry heard gasps from listeners.

Harry continued, “You neither killed the basilisk, nor corrected everyone in the school when they believed _I_ was the person who was sending the basilisk out to attack students. Eventually _I_ was the person— _not_ you, _not_ any of the professors—who slayed that monster.”

Again, people in the courtroom murmured.

“Then last year, when I was fourteen, the Goblet of Fire selected my name as the supposed fourth Champion in a tournament for _three of-age_ wizards. But when I said ‘I didn’t put my name in,’ how did you react? Did you say ‘I believe you’? Did you try your damnedest to get me out of the tournament? No, you—at the time, you were headmaster _and_ Chief Warlock _and_ Supreme Mugwump—said to me, ‘Harry my boy, there’s nothing I can do.’ Even after it was _proven_ that Barty Crouch, Jr Confunded the Goblet and put my name in, you _still_ never told the school, ‘Harry never put his name in.’ Because of your continued silence, there are _still_ students at Hogwarts who believe _I cheated!_ ”

Harry looked at Hermione for a second, then back at Dumbledore. “Headmaster, you’re lazy or you’re stupid or you hate me for some reason I can’t guess. Today I’m accused of something I didn’t do, and the _last_ thing I need is for _you_ to ‘defend’ me. So go _sit down_ and _shut up_.”

Then Harry’s gaze switched from Albus Dumbledore to Cyrus Greengrass. Loudly and clearly, Harry stated, “Chief Warlock, I, Harry James Potter, plead _Not Guilty to all charges_ ; and _Edward Tonks_ represents me in court.”

****

The trial began. Harry was led to the testimony chair; chains wrapped tightly around his arms and legs. Harry was given three drops of Veritaserum.

Chief Warlock Greengrass and Madam Bones asked Harry questions, which Harry tried to answer. But Minister Fudge kept interrupting with _Have you quit beating your wife?_ -type questions, and mocking Harry’s answers. Without Ted Tonks there, Harry never would have been allowed to make his case—

—but then Ted had enough. He roared, “ _Minister, quit badgering my witness!_ ”

Chief Warlock Greengrass agreed. “Minister Fudge, when the Wizengamot sits in judgement of crimes, you are allowed here _only as a courtesy_. If you cannot control your outbursts, you shall either be silenced or be ejected as I see fit. _Understand?_ ”

Fudge promised to behave himself.

Someone in the room murmured, “It could be much worse for the boy. Imagine if the Pink Toad were here to heckle him.”

Someone else asked, “Where _is_ Umbitch anyway?”

****

Ted Tonks put into a projection pensieve the memories of Harry’s two previous “violations” of the underage-magic law.

People in the courtroom, judging by their murmurs, were astounded that it was a house-elf who cast the Hovering Charm on Aunt Petunia’s pudding (that Mr and Mrs Mason witnessed, and that Harry was officially blamed for).

Harry’s memory of the ballooning of Aunt Marge was shown. Clearly the ballooning of Aunt Marge was accidental magic, even though Harry at thirteen was a bit old for accidental magic. People in the courtroom murmured angrily about the nasty things that Aunt Marge said about James and Lily.

After everyone in the courtroom viewed the memories, Madam Bones declared that those two “offences” would be struck from Harry Potter’s record.

****

Harry was given the antidote to Veritaserum; then Harry’s memory of the Dementor attack was put in the projection pensieve.

The memory was played from when Harry and Dudley were insulting each other, through the Dementor attack, Harry’s failed patronus, Harry successfully casting a solid stag-patronus, the stag-patronus attacking both Dementors till they both were dead, and the stag-patronus disappearing.

Whilst the memory played, Harry heard murmurs all over the courtroom. Hermione grinned at Harry, whilst Luna gave him a dreamy smile. Auror Tonks looked shocked. Dumbledore looked proud, as though he were the wizard who deserved the credit. Lucius Malfoy looked constipated.

Fudge tried to claim that the memory was tampered with.

Madam Bones replied, “The memory was collected within minutes of the events depicted. It is the DMLE’s judgement that the memory shows no sign of tampering.”

After this, Ted Tonks lectured the room about the Decree for the Reasonable Restriction of Underage Sorcery. Ted Tonks argued that in Harry’s case, the Clause 7 exception applied here: “Magic may be used before Muggles in exceptional circumstances, which include situations that include the life of the wizard or witch himself, or witches, wizards or Muggles present.” Harry, so Ted Tonks claimed, clearly used magic in front of his cousin to not only save his own life, but also to save his Muggle cousin’s life. In any case, Dudley Dursley, the Muggle cousin, already knew about the existence of magic and knew that Harry could do magic.

****

Then it was Hermione’s turn to testify. She testified that she and Luna went to visit Harry, with Hermione’s Muggle parents providing transportation; the Grangers and Luna got to the playground just as the Dementors attacked Harry and his cousin.

Then Hermione’s memory was played.

Again Fudge tried to claim that the memory was doctored. Not so, replied Madam Bones.

Then Fudge tried to claim that Hermione’s testimony should be ignored because she was Muggle-born.

Ted Tonks responded with “Miss Granger, what year at Hogwarts will you be in, this September?”

“Fifth year, sir.”

“So you have not sat your OWLs yet, am I right?”

“Correct, sir.”

“Do you remember what your marks were at the end of fourth year?”

“All Outstandings except for Potions, which was Exceeds Expectations.”

“Do you remember your third-year marks?”

“Once again, all Outstandings except for Potions; an EE in that.”

“And second year?”

“Same. First year, same.”

“What House are you in at Hogwarts?”

“Gryffindor, sir.”

“Am I correct that Severus Snape is the Potions teacher who consistently gives you a lower mark than you receive in your other classes?”

“Yes, sir.”

Ted looked at Greengrass and said, “Chief Warlock Greengrass, I think anyone who is sitting in judgement today is free to disregard Miss Granger’s testimony if they scored higher marks during their Hogwarts years than Miss Granger has.”

Harry chuckled; Ted Tonks just had set a high standard that the law-wizard knew _nobody_ in the room could meet.

The law-wizard continued, “Otherwise those who sit in judgement should accept Miss Granger’s testimony and should ignore her blood-status.”

****

After Hermione’s testimony, Ted Tonks took testimony from Luna. Fudge did not try to discredit Luna’s testimony after Ted Tonks established that she was a Pureblood.

Then Luna’s memory was projected. Luna’s memory matched Hermione’s, except that in Luna’s memory, Harry, Hermione and each Dementor had a different aura; Dudley and the Granger parents showed auras that were grey with only a tinge of colour.

****

Harry noticed that, whether by luck or design, nobody in the courtroom thought to ask how Luna and the Grangers knew _exactly_ where to go in order to find Harry, and how the visitors timed their finding Harry so perfectly.

Harry realised that Luna was a Seer, and evidently a powerful Seer; but this fact was glossed over in Courtroom Ten.

****

Minister Fudge voted to convict Harry on all charges, and so did Lucius Malfoy, but few other seat-holders voted with them. Harry was acquitted by a wide margin.

Harry still was sitting in the chains-chair. The chains unwrapped themselves, then grinning Harry hurried over to the Defence table and shook Ted Tonks’s hand like a madman.

Grinning Harry also shook the hand of Auror Tonks and Madam Bones. But Hermione and Luna, _they_ were hugged fiercely.

Harry ignored Dumbledore.

****

**Trial 2: Mafalda Hopkirk, Defendant**

The head of the Improper Use of Magic Office was brought into the courtroom by three Aurors, put in the chains-chair, and charged with Corruption.

But before any of her testimony was taken, the memories of Harry, Hermione and Luna, during the Dementor attack, were played on the projection pensieve—

—except this time, the memories were played with the sound off. Also, this time the memories were played from the time that Memory-Harry cast his first (failed) patronus, to the time that Memory-Harry received the “You’re expelled!” letter and passed the letter to Memory-Amelia.

Now in Courtroom Ten, Madam Bones announced that in each memory, _thirteen minutes_ elapsed from the time that Harry successfully cast the Patronus Charm near his cousin, to the time that Harry received his letter.

Madam Bones commented, “At 9:23 in the evening, Mafalda Hopkirk just happened to be in her office. When Mr Potter cast his patronus, she wrote this letter, signed this letter, gave this letter to an owl, and the owl flew from London to Surrey County, all in thirteen minutes? Unless a Time-Turner is involved, this is dodgy.”

Mafalda Hopkirk was given three drops of Veritaserum on her tongue. Amelia Bones, the questioner, asked, “What is your name?”

“Mafalda Estretta Hopkirk.”

“Try to lie to me. Say ‘Two plus two equals five.’ ”

“Two plus two equals fi—four. Four.”

Madam Bones said, “I declare that this person is under the influence of Veritaserum. Why did it take only thirteen minutes from the time that Harry Potter cast a successful patronus, for him to receive a letter from you?”

“Because I had everything ready. I had a letter-template at hand with everything filled-in but the spell cast and the time of the offence. When my instruments told me that Harry Potter had cast a patronus, I generated the letter and sent it off with Minervus, who is the fastest of the fifty or so Ministry owls.”

“Did you know ahead of time that Harry Potter would perform underage magic on 2nd August?”

“Yes.”

“Did you know ahead of time that Harry Potter would cast a patronus on 2nd August?”

“No.”

“How did you know ahead of time that Harry Potter would perform underage magic on the 2nd?”

“Senior Undersecretary sent me a paper aeroplane telling me this, on the afternoon of the 2nd. Then she wrote, ‘If you treat that lying halfblood like the law says he deserves, you’ll be promoted.’ ”

“Was this your first communication with Senior Undersecretary Umbridge about Harry Potter?”

“No. She had visited my office two days earlier—Monday, 31st July.”

“What happened during that earlier visit?”

“Umbridge asked if my office had records of any prior offences—underage magic or magic in front of Muggles—by Harry Potter. We checked his record and found two offences. At the bottom of the write-up for the second offence, we saw handwritten, ‘Take no action. COF.’ ”

“What did you think, on the night of 2nd August, when your instruments told you that Harry Potter had cast the Patronus Charm?”

“I figured he was trying to impress a Muggle girl.”

“You did not wonder whether Harry Potter had been fighting off one or more Dementors?”

“No. The thought never crossed my mind.”

“Did you, on the night of the 2nd, try to find out why Harry Potter cast a patronus?”

“No. Harry Potter is a liar. He has been lying about You-Know-Who. I figured that if I’d asked him why he’d cast the patronus, he’d tell me a tall tale. Plus by then it was late in the evening and I was tired.”

“When did you find out that Harry Potter had been trying to save himself and his Muggle cousin from Dementors, and that your letter expelled him for this?”

“After I was arrested and the Aurors were questioning me, an Auror mentioned the Dementors’ attack.”

“You sent two letters on the night of the 2nd. The first letter said ‘Mr Potter, you are expelled and your wand will be snapped.’ The second letter said ‘Mr Potter, you must attend a disciplinary hearing on 12th August.’ Why did you send the second letter?”

“Because Dumbledore, who is headmaster at Hogwarts, is more politically powerful than I am, and I thought that if I simply expelled Potter, even though the law says I can, Dumbledore might make trouble for me. If this happened, I doubted that Umbridge would come forward to save my arse.”

“If Senior Undersecretary Umbridge hadn’t promised you a promotion, how would you have done things differently?”

“My letter wouldn’t have declared Potter expelled, but I would’ve threatened expulsion, since the patronus in a Muggle area was Potter’s third offence. I would’ve waited till regular office hours on 3rd August to owl Potter the letter. That one letter would’ve set a time for the disciplinary hearing. If someone had told me before I owled the letter that Potter had been attacked by Dementors, I wouldn’t have sent the letter at all.”

****

Hopkirk was given the antidote to Veritaserum, then Chief Warlock Greengrass asked the seat-holders to vote.

Hopkirk was found guilty of Corruption, and was sentenced to five years in the minimum-security wing of Azkaban.

****

**Trial 3: Vernon, Petunia and Dudley Dursley, Defendants**

Uncle Vernon would _not_ shut up. As soon as he was brought into the courtroom, he was yelling. Then Vernon _kept_ yelling. Chief Warlock Greengrass put a Silencing Charm on Vernon, except for when he was entering his plea. (Which, no surprise, was “Not Guilty.”)

Aunt Petunia spent the entire trial looking down at the floor. Cousin Dudley kept looking at Harry. (By now, Harry, Hermione, Luna and Auror Tonks were sitting in the part of the courtroom that was set aside for trial witnesses.)

Harry was called to give testimony against the Dursleys (but did not testify under Veritaserum). Harry’s memories were displayed. People in the courtroom muttered angrily as they saw and were told about the many abuses that Harry had suffered.

Harry made a point of mentioning that his fifteen-month-old self was left by Dumbledore with the Dursleys, and Dumbledore _never once_ checked on Harry afterwards. Harry, sitting in the witness chair, had to concentrate on _not smiling_ when he saw Hermione and many other people in the courtroom shoot angry looks at the esteemed headmaster.

At this point, Madam Bones entered into evidence the report made by the goblin healer, nine days ago, about Harry’s many childhood injuries: malnutrition, scars, broken bones that were poorly healed, and a concussion.

Then Auror Tonks was called to testify (but not under Veritaserum). During her testimony, the Order of the Phoenix was outed as a Dumbledore-led, anti-Voldemort group. (Harry turned round to look at Dumbledore’s face. Dumbledore’s eyes were _not_ twinkling.) The memories of Tonks’s few outdoor observations were played; all of Tonks’s memories showed at least one Dursley being abusive to Harry.

Hermione was called to the stand and questioned briefly. She told the court that at the beginning of second year, third year and fourth year, Harry came to school much thinner than Hermione had seen him appearing, two months earlier.

Then one by one, the three Dursleys were put under Veritaserum and were questioned. They convicted themselves, especially after Chief Warlock Greengrass let Madam Bones question the defendants.

****

One person was _never_ called as a witness during the Dursleys’ trial: Albus Dumbledore. This was because he had not witnessed any of the abuse. Because he was not called as a witness, because he was no longer part of the Wizengamot and because he was not a law-wizard, he played no part in the Dursleys’ criminal trial.

Dumbledore could only watch the Dursleys’ trial from the spectators’ gallery, muttering angrily all the while because he could not stop the trial and he could not water-down the Dursleys’ guilt.

****

The Wizengamot seat-holders then voted on the Dursleys’ guilt or innocence. The result was a foregone conclusion.

Chief Warlock Greengrass said, “This trial has been quite unusual, because it is a trial of Muggles, so I shall make it more unusual. Before I pronounce sentence, I give the defendants and Mr Potter a chance to speak. Master Dudley Dursley, you may speak first.”

Dudley was sitting in one of three chains-chairs. He looked across the courtroom and said, “Harry, I treated you nasty. I apologise for all of it. I deserve whatever punishment I get.”

Harry nodded, as Hermione squeezed his hand and Tonks patted Harry on the back.

Luna commented, “Your cousin’s aura doesn’t have evil in it now.”

Seconds passed, during which time, Aunt Petunia never spoke. “Mrs Petunia Dursley?” Greengrass prompted.

Aunt Petunia still was staring at the floor. Without looking up, she shook her head.

Greengrass asked, “Mr Vernon Dursley, do you have anything to say?” The Chief Warlock removed the Silencing Charm on Uncle Vernon.

Uncle Vernon thundered, “This trial is a joke! You arrested me just because you _could_ , waving your freaky-sticks about! You put me and mine on trial, just because you can. My conscience is clear—I did to my nephew _not one thing_ that was more than what he ever deserved. You call me a bully? You call _us_ bullies? It’s _you_ , the _lot_ of you, all waving your freaky-sticks about, who are the bullies. Now you’re bullying my family, who are three _normal_ people. _Unlike_ the lot of you!”

Chief Warlock Greengrass prompted, “Mr Potter?”

Hermione whispered to Harry, “Don’t speak from your seat. Walk down to the floor, _then_ speak.”

Harry stood up, walked away from the seats for trial witnesses, then walked over to stand in front of Dudley. Harry turned to face Greengrass. “Chief Warlock, I’m convinced that my cousin Dudley feels genuine remorse, so I ask you to give him a lighter punishment. Rather than Azkaban, I ask that you send him to the London Disciplinary High School till he is eighteen. I also recommend that if he completes the school properly, sitting and passing his O-levels and his A-levels, that his Muggle criminal record be wiped away after Dudley is released from there.”

Harry heard a snort behind him. Dudley murmured, “You want to send me to Saint Brutus?”

Harry turned round to face Dudley. Harry murmured, “Saint Brutus is a school that Vernon made up. The London Disciplinary High School is a real school that is, according to Hermione, quite horrid. If you drop your soap in the shower, don’t bend over. But if you behave at LDHS, your adult life can be a good one.”

Then Harry stepped in front of Aunt Petunia. “Aunt Petunia, I can’t figure you out. Maybe Uncle Vernon did what he did because he didn’t _truly_ think the magical world was real. But _you?_ From the day that Severus Snape told you and my mother that magic was real, and he told you that magical people had their own government, you knew that this day could come. Then later, from the time that you beat me, or starved me, or made me work at the cooker when I was so small that I had to stand on a chair, you _surely_ had to know that this day _would_ come. Yet you _kept on_ and _kept on_ abusing me. _Why?_ I can’t guess. I recommend that this court go easy on Dudley, but I recommend that _you_ be judged _the most harshly_ of you three. Petunia Patricia Evans Dursley, you _knew_ better. Shame on you.”

Then Harry, still standing in front of his aunt, turned to face his uncle.

****

Harry said, “Uncle Vernon, you claim not to be a bully. This is ridiculous. You are ridiculous for claiming it. You were paid over a hundred thousand pounds over fourteen years for my care, money which came from _my_ trust vault, but you and my aunt spent only 186 pounds on me. Why did you steal from me, beginning in 1981? Because you _could_. Why did you whip me and leave scars? Why did you hit me hard enough to break bones? Why did you starve me? Because you _could_. I couldn’t make you behave, and so you misbehaved, because you _could_. That is the _essence_ of what a bully is: power, cruelty and no self-restraint.”

Purple-faced Vernon started to bluster: “Now listen here, you—”

Harry pulled out his wand and wordlessly Silenced his uncle. Vernon looked shocked at Harry’s effrontery. Aunt Petunia looked scared.

“Thank you, Harry,” Hermione said.

Harry continued, “I’m not a bully, and I can prove it. Now before I explain why I claim this, I should tell you that in class this year, I learnt about a spell called the Killing Curse. If it hits you, you die, no magical shield can block it, and only one person ever has survived it.”

Harry did not mention that he was the one survivor of this curse.

Harry continued, “By the way, the Killing Curse is actually the most humane of the magical ways to kill someone—with the Killing Curse, you would die instantly, with no pain. Anyway, this past year, I learnt about the Killing Curse during a class. That same day, in that same class, I learnt about something called the Cruciatus Curse. If you’re hit with _that_ spell, you feel agony beyond imagining.”

The courtroom was dead silent. Uncle Vernon’s face was white.

Harry continued, “Also, I was in an unusual contest this year, which motivated me to learn spells that students my age normally don’t learn till they’re older, if they learn those spells at all. All you need to understand, Uncle Vernon, is that on 1st July, when I walked into your house, I had knowledge in my brain and I had my wand in my pocket. Meaning, I knew one way to torture you and several ways to kill you. Thanks to the Triwizard Tournament, on 1st July I entered your house knowing ways to kill you slowly and painfully. Think about that.”

The entire courtroom was dead silent. All three Dursleys looked frightened out of their wits.

Harry continued, “But did I give you even a hint of all this? Six weeks ago, did I try to frighten you, like so many times you’ve deliberately frightened me? No. When you told me to put my wand in my trunk and to put my trunk in the cupboard under the stairs, I did so, with no argument. Perhaps you thought at the time that I obeyed you because I was scared of you. False! I obeyed because I _chose_ to obey. I haven’t been scared of any of you Dursleys since last November, after I faced down a fire-breathing dragon.”

Vernon looked shocked when the people in the courtroom burst into applause.

Harry continued, “But _you_ , dear uncle, taught me to _loathe_ bullies. Bullies are _scum_. When I find bullies at school, I fight them, because they’re _scum_.” Harry glanced at Lucius Malfoy, who was scowling. “Seven weeks ago, I fought a bully named Tom, T-O-M, Marvolo, M-A-R-V-O-L-O, Riddle, R-I-D-D-L-E. At first he doesn’t sound like much—his mother was an _ugly_ Squib and his father was a Muggle—but he’s a troublemaker and a bully, and I intend to stop him for good, as soon as I can.”

Whilst Harry had been talking to Uncle Vernon, he had fire-written “TOM MARVOLO RIDDLE.” Then as Harry continued to speak to his uncle, Harry used his wand to rearrange the letters. When Harry turned away from Uncle Vernon, the words “I AM LORD VOLDEMORT” were floating in the air. As Harry walked back to his seat, which was next to Hermione’s seat, Harry gave Lucius Malfoy a cruel smile.

****

Chief Warlock Greengrass then awarded punishments to the Dursleys.

Dudley was sent to the London Disciplinary High School, just as Harry had requested.

Uncle Vernon and Aunt Petunia were sentenced to the minimum-security wing at Azkaban for 250 months, because the elder Dursleys had abused Harry for a total of 125 months.

Hearing the sentence, Hermione gasped. “That’s twenty years, ten months, that Chief Warlock Greengrass has given your aunt and uncle.”

Auror Tonks leant over and eyed Harry. “Muggles in Azkaban? Even in minimum security, they’ll still feel the Dementors, which will hurt them. Somewhere between five years and ten, I figure they’ll both be dead.”

****

**Trial 4: Sirius Orion Black, Defendant**

Chief Warlock Greengrass read the charges against Sirius: the murders of Peter Pettigrew and twelve Muggles, and aiding in the murders of James Potter and Lily Potter. Then Greengrass asked Sirius Black, “How do you plead?”

Many gasps were heard when Black replied in a clear voice, “ _Not Guilty_ to all charges.”

Madam Bones said, “It was a surprise to me to discover that this will be Sirius Black’s first trial. In 1981, he was arrested for fifteen murders, then he was sent straight to Azkaban _without a trial_.”

People in the room murmured at this.

Bones continued, “Black’s wand was collected at the scene, but was never checked. According to the arresting Auror’s report, when Black was arrested for the murders of Pettigrew and twelve Muggles, and aiding in the murders of Potter and Potter, Black said, ‘I did it, I killed James and Lily. I killed them, I’m guilty of that!’ Whilst he said these things, Black laughed inappropriately.” Madam Bones paused, then said, “This concludes the prosecution case.”

Harry had hired Ted Tonks to both defend Harry and to defend Sirius. Now Tonks asked Madam Bones, “You said that Black’s wand was not checked at the time of his arrest. Has it been checked since then?”

Madam Bones replied, “I checked his wand nine days ago. I found _Point-Me_ spells, _Protego_ s and _Stupefy_ s, but no offensive spells.”

People in the courtroom murmured at this.

Ted Tonks asked Sirius, who was being held captive by a chains-chair, “Is the quote by the arresting Auror accurate? Did you truly say those words, ‘I did it, I killed James and Lily’?”

“Probably,” Sirius replied. “My mind was in a strange place when the Aurors showed up.”

“So why did you plead ‘Not Guilty’ just now?”

“Because I thought I was so clever, back in 1981. I thought I’d play a prank on You-Know-Who. I’d claim that I was the Potters’ Secret Keeper for the Potters’ house in Godric’s Hollow, when actually the Secret Keeper was Peter Pettigrew. Why would You-Know-Who suspect _Peter_ of knowing the Secret? Surprise, surprise, Peter was a traitor and a Death Eater—a rat in more ways than one.”

People in the courtroom gasped.

Sirius continued, “Peter told the Secret to You-Know-Who, then the Dark Lord killed James and Lily, and he tried to kill little Harry. The next day, when I tracked down Peter and I was going to arrest him, Peter blew up the street, which killed those Muggles. Peter cut off his own finger, then Peter ran down a sewer line and escaped. Peter pranked me, and You-Know-Who pranked me, and this time the result was much worse for me than me wearing purple hair. When the Aurors showed up and told me to surrender my wand, I laughed because the situation was so absurd.”

“How did Peter get into the sewer?” Ted Tonks asked. “Those grates are close together.”

“Peter was/is an Animagus. That day, I saw Pettigrew turn into a rat, pass through the grate and run away in the sewer.”

In the courtroom, the memory of Sirius’s entire encounter with Peter in 1981 then was played on the projection pensieve.

When the memory had finished, Ted Tonks asked Sirius, “So Peter Pettigrew can turn into a rat at will?”

“Sure. I’ve given you my memory of the first time I saw Pettigrew become a rat, back in our Hogwarts days.”

****

**The Gryffindor common room, 31st October 1975**

Teenagers James, Sirius and Remus were planning mischief when Teen-Peter burst through the portrait-hole, then rushed up to the other three. He said, “ _Oi_ , mates, I’ve done it! Come see!”

Teen-Peter turned about to face the portrait-hole. “ _C’mon_ , you lot!”

Teen-Peter led the other Marauders to an empty classroom. He moved to the front of the room and, whilst grinning, said, “A-one, a-two, a-three...”

Teen-Peter was not a handsome lad; his hair was a _blah_ brown colour, and he had an overbite. Now he shrunk down so that his body disappeared _except for_ the brown hair and the overbite.

“ _Bloody hell!_ ” Teen-James exclaimed. “You’re a _rat?_ ”

Three teen boys stared in shock at a brown rat, who stared back at them with unreadable black eyes. Then after about three seconds, the rat became a teenaged boy again.

“Well, it’s _different_ ,” said Teen-Remus, trying to be diplomatic. “But stay away from McGonagall, or she’ll chase after you!”

Teen-Peter said, “I admit a rat isn’t impressive, but now I’m the perfect spy. I’ve already sneaked into the Slytherin common room, and up the stairs to the girls’ dormitories.”

“Really?” the other boys said. “What’s that like?”

Teen-Peter said, “Their common room has lots of green, I _think_. When I’m a rat, I don’t see colours. But in the girls’ dormitories, I saw Narcissa Black and Angela Filch half-starkers!”

Teen-Sirius snapped, “You Peeping Tom! That’s my cousin and my ex-girlfriend you were staring at!”

Teen-Peter grinned at him. “Yes, well, I can understand why you dated Angela. She and Narcissa are _shapely_.” Teen-Peter held his hands out in front of his chest.

****

Now after the showing of that memory in Courtroom Ten, Harry heard a _snarl_ , then muttered obscenities, coming from where Lucius Malfoy was sitting.

Ted Tonks announced, “I shall now show the court that Peter Pettigrew still is alive. I call Mr Harry Potter as a witness. He will explain the memory I am about to show.”

Harry sat down in a witness chair (which was a chains-chair, except the chains ignored him). Harry expected that the memory that he would be asked to comment on was that time in the Shrieking Shack in 1994, when Remus, Sirius, Harry and Hermione were all set to capture Peter Pettigrew and to prove Sirius’s innocence—but then due to Harry’s naive mercifulness, _bloody Remus forgetting to drink his Wolfsbane Potion on the night of a full moon_ , and Professor Snape being an utter berk, Pettigrew successfully escaped.

But no, the memory that Harry’s law-wizard played, started with Harry Potter and Cedric Diggory politely arguing over who would grab the Triwizard Cup. But when the two Champions grabbed the Cup together, they were Portkeyed to the Little Hangleton graveyard.

Peter AK’d Cedric, then Peter performed a resurrection ritual on Voldemort with the unwilling help of Harry Potter.

Voldemort used the Dark Mark to summon the thirty or so Death Eaters, six of whom he greeted by name—Lucius Malfoy; Crabbe, Sr; Goyle, Sr; Avery; Nott; and Walden Macnair. Voldemort staged a duel with Harry, intending to kill him; but instead, Harry grabbed the Triwizard Cup and escaped back to Hogwarts; whilst holding on to Cedric Diggory’s corpse.

****

When the memory ended, there was yelling in the courtroom. Auror Tonks had shot a Stunner Spell each, at Lord Malfoy, Lord Nott, Lord Crabbe and Lord Goyle.

Meanwhile, Fudge was yelling that Harry’s memory was a slanderous fake, because those four “fine, upstanding Purebloods” would _never_ ally themselves with You-Know-Who—who in any case was dead.

Meanwhile, everyone else in the courtroom was discussing with their neighbour, “If You-Know-Who _has_ come back, what do we do now?”

Madam Bones glared at Fudge, then said, “It is the opinion of the DMLE that this memory is genuine and unaltered. Aurors, arrest Lords Crabbe, Goyle, Malfoy and Nott.”

Then Harry noticed that Minister Fudge’s face had gone white. “That memory is _real?_ You-Know-Who is _back?_ Oh, Merlin. Oh, Merlin.”

****

When the noise in the courtroom died down, Chief Warlock Greengrass called for the vote on Sirius’s guilt/innocence. With Malfoy, Nott, Crabbe and Goyle no longer in the courtroom, the vote for acquittal was almost unanimous.

The chains on the chains-chair immediately unwound themselves from Sirius’s arms and legs.

Greengrass then called for a vote on Sirius receiving reparations; Greengrass suggested ten thousand galleons a year, for the twelve years that Sirius had been in Azkaban. This was approved—again, nearly unanimously.

Ted Tonks waved James Potter’s and Lily Potter’s wills in the air, and quoted from them: “Our first choice as guardian for Harry is our close friend and Harry’s sworn godfather, Sirius Orion Black. Sirius will do what’s right for Harry, we are sure.” Then Ted Tonks asked Greengrass to ratify Sirius Black as Harry Potter’s guardian, in accordance with Harry’s parents’ wills, “from now till Mr Potter turns seventeen or becomes Lord Potter, whichever occurs first.”

Albus Dumbledore shot out of his seat then. “Cyrus, it will not be good for Harry for you to give guardianship of him to Sirius. All those years in Azkaban have addled his wits. I fear he is now unfit as a guardian.”

Harry jumped up then. “Chief Warlock, may I speak?”

Greengrass said, “Yes, you may.”

Harry said, “Let me remind everyone of a few facts. First, _that man_ has no training as a Mind Healer. His implying that Sirius Black is mad is just as much a _baseless lie_ as anything Rita Skeeter writes. Second, I’ve spent time with Sirius Black and, whilst I’m not a Mind Healer either, Sirius Black doesn’t act even a bit mad near _me_.”

People in the courtroom murmured at this.

Harry said, “Third, when _that man_ was Chief Warlock, he sealed my parents’ wills. Meaning, the only person who could read those wills without going to Azkaban was me, at Gringotts; and _that man_ did his utmost to make sure I never went to Gringotts without him or one of his minions near me. When I managed to sneak into Gringotts and read my parents’ will _without_ that man’s interference, I discovered that Sirius Black was my parents’ first choice as guardian, whilst _that man_ was mentioned in the wills only as the wills’ _witness_.”

“ _Blimey_ ,” someone in the courtroom said.

“On the other hand, both wills stated _clearly_ that I absolutely, positively was _not_ to be given to Petunia Dursley and her husband—then _that man_ personally left me on my aunt’s doorstep in a basket. He didn’t even knock, or ring the doorbell!”

People in the courtroom murmured, hearing this.

Harry continued, “Finally, _that man_ never checked on me whilst I was abused by the Dursleys, he has never taught me a thing about the wizarding world, he has never taught me even one thing about my rights and responsibilities as the future Lord Potter—but _ah_ , that man has sure acted like my guardian when it comes time to tap into my trust vault! Beyond the G2 400 a year paid to my Uncle Vernon, there have been tens of thousands of galleons taken out of my trust vault since 1981, and _none_ of that money has been spent for my benefit, so far as I can tell.”

“ _Bloody hell?_ ” Sirius said. “Dumbledore stole from _Harry?_ ”

Harry said to the courtroom, “The bottom line, Chief Warlock Greengrass: Disregard all the slanders and innuendos that _that man_ tells you, and give me to Sirius Black till I turn seventeen or I become Lord Potter.”

Harry sat down; Hermione took his hand and squeezed it. “Bloody hell,” Auror Tonks said to Harry.

Luna said, “The longer you spoke, Harry Potter, the more wrackspurts I felt leaving the courtroom.”

Chief Warlock Greengrass said, “Currently, Harry Potter’s guardians in the Muggle world are Vernon and Petunia Dursley, whilst Harry Potter’s guardian in the magical world is Albus Dumbledore. I now give complete guardianship of Harry Potter to Sirius Orion Black, from now till Mr Potter turns seventeen or becomes Lord Potter, whichever occurs first.”

Greengrass banged his gavel. Auror Tonks murmured to Harry, “Behind you. The Leader of the Light looks _pissed_.”

Meanwhile, Sirius walked over to where Harry was sitting, and hugged him; this affectionate action caused murmurs in the courtroom, because Purebloods don’t hug. Then Sirius sat down in the section of the courtroom set aside for trial witnesses; he took a seat between Hermione and Auror Tonks.

****

**Trial 5: Dolores Jane Umbridge, Defendant**

Everyone was surprised that Umbridge had been arrested. Everyone was surprised that Umbridge had been brought to trial. Umbridge herself was surprised most of all.

She did not help her case when she was brought into the courtroom now, bound in both magic-suppressing handcuffs and magic-suppressing leg-irons. She was glaring at her four-Aurors escort and yelling, “ _I’ll have your_ jobs _for this!_ ”

(Luna murmured to Harry and Hermione, “That woman’s aura is solid evil.”)

Umbridge was kept in the magic-suppressing handcuffs and leg-irons even after she was dropped into the chains-chair, and the chains wrapped tightly about her arms and legs.

Chief Warlock Greengrass read out the charges: “Dolores Jane Umbridge, you are accused of two counts of murder of a pureblood, namely Denise Slughorn and Paul Macmillan; two counts of murder of a halfblood, namely Nigel Jones and Leona Prewett; one count of attempted murder of a halfblood, namely Harry James Potter; and one count of injury to a halfblood without provocation, namely John Longbottom. How do you plead?”

Dolores yelled, “ _Cornelius, why am I here? Get me out of this!_ ”

Minister Fudge, without looking at Umbridge, shook his head.

Greengrass repeated, “Dolores Jane Umbridge, how do you plead?”

“ _Innocent!_ I’ve done nothing wrong, except remove some _blood-traitor filth_ from our society!”

Before giving Veritaserum to Umbridge, Bones reported what paper evidence the DMLE had about her crimes. The main thing, from Harry’s point of view, was a paper in Umbridge’s own handwriting, dated 2nd August, that directed Dementor Number 26 and Dementor Number 43—

1) To go to Surrey County, England.  
2) To go to Little Whinging township in Surrey County.  
3) To find the magical signature of Harry James Potter.  
4) To Kiss Potter and to Kiss anyone who was with Potter.

Harry was surprised to learn that Umbridge, despite the blood-purity rubbish she spouted, was a halfblood—just like Harry himself, and just like Tom Riddle. But since the Ministry greatly favoured Purebloods in hiring and promotions, then how did Umbridge, a halfblood, rise to the number-two position in the Ministry?

The answer was that Umbridge, as she worked her way up the ladder, caused accidents for anyone who got in her way—often _fatal_ accidents.

Thus it was not a big stretch for Umbridge when she tried to kill one fifteen-year-old boy who was making Umbridge’s boss look bad.

When Madam Bones asked Umbridge how the Dementor attack on Harry Potter came about, Veritaserum-potioned Umbridge replied—

“Two weeks ago, there was a meeting in Cornelius’s office. Me, Cornelius and Amelia Bones were there. Cornelius ordered Amelia to arrest Harry Potter on some made-up charge, but she refused. ‘Harry Potter has broken no laws, so I’ll not arrest him,’ she said, then she walked out. Cornelius looked up at the ceiling and said, ‘Will no one rid me of this troublesome boy?’ I decided right then to do what nobody else was willing to do, and _kill_ that halfblood liar.”

In the courtroom, Minister Fudge yelled, “ _I was speaking_ figuratively _, you ugly bint. I didn’t tell you to kill him!_ ”

Bones asked, “And you recruiting Mafalda Hopkirk at the Improper Use of Magic Office, what was the purpose of this?”

“I wanted Harry Potter dead. But if this didn’t happen for some reason, I knew it would be after Potter magically defended himself. If this happened, I wanted his using his wand to be the excuse for the Ministry to expel him. Nobody would listen to a boy who had been expelled and whose wand had been snapped.”

Harry, Hermione and Luna were not called to testify against Umbridge, and only Harry’s memory of his fight with the Dementors was played in the projection-pensieve.

“ _Bloody hell!_ ” Sirius exclaimed, when memory-Harry’s stag-patronus did not merely drive both Dementors away, but instead _destroyed_ both Dementors.

Luna commented, “Harry Potter’s aura _glows_ with power.”

Hermione grinned at Harry. “The Muggle translation: The Force is strong with this one.”

During the playing of Harry’s memory, Umbridge growled, “Bloody hell, you weren’t supposed to kill the Dementors, _they_ were supposed to kill _you!_ ”

****

Dolores Umbridge was found guilty of all charges.

She was sentenced to the Dementor’s Kiss.

The sentence was carried out immediately afterwards.

****

As soon as Chief Warlock Greengrass declared the special session to be ended, Luna turned to Harry and said cheerfully, “Do you know that the aura for your scar looks different now than it did before? Today, your scar’s aura is pink. Always before, it was pink and black stripes.”

Harry did not know what to think about what Luna said. So he asked, “What do those colours mean?”

Luna smiled dreamily. “A pink aura means your scar has love in it, black meant your scar had evil in it and stripes meant that both love and evil were in your scar and neither one could push the other out.”

Hermione asked, “So all the time you’ve known Harry, you saw he had evil in his scar? Why did you never tell him before now?”

Luna chin-pointed at Sirius, then looked at Harry. “Because until today you were helpless, and until today your life was hopeless, so why give you one more thing to worry about that you couldn’t fix?”

****

**Seconds later**

Harry, Hermione, Luna, Auror Tonks and Sirius Black tried to leave the courtroom. A baldheaded reporter fired questions at Harry and at Sirius; he was _im_ politely rebuffed.

Dumbledore also accosted the group; he “insisted” on talking to Harry and to Sirius.

Sirius looked at the group and said, “Did you lot hear something? I thought I heard my name spoken, but not by anyone I wish to speak to.”

Harry looked the whiskered meddler in the eyes and said, “ _Headmaster_ , school isn’t in session, so you can’t ‘insist’ on anything from me till 1st September. Until then, _hasta la vista_ , baby.”

So saying, Harry led his group out of Courtroom Ten. All was well.


	6. Impromptu Press Conference

**Still Saturday, 12th August**  
**Still at the Ministry of Magic  
** **Ten minutes later, in the atrium**

Harry and company (including Ted Tonks and his Auror daughter) just had walked into the Ministry atrium when they discovered that Minister Fudge was already there. Fudge was speaking to a mob of reporters (including Rita Skeeter).

Harry groaned, seeing both Fudge and Skeeter in front of him. He asked nobody in particular, “Is there some way we can leave the building a _different_ way? Floo? Portkey? Flying motorcycle?”

Hermione said, “Something is going on, Harry. Look at Fudge.”

Indeed, once Harry looked, he saw that Fudge was not smiling and looking pompous; instead he looked humbled and ashamed—

“...like admitting to mistakes, any more than you do, but today my conscience demands I come clean with you. I was _wrong_ about Sirius Black, I was _wrong_ about Harry Potter, and I was _wrong_ about You-Know-Who. Sirius Black is _not_ a murderer and _not_ a Death Eater. Harry Potter is _not_ delusional and he is _not_ a liar. You-Know-Who is _alive_. I apologise to Wizarding Britain for telling you otherwise.”

“Oh, wow,” said Harry. “Think Fudge means it?”

Luna replied, “His aura still shows more willingness to lie than to tell the truth. But now, his aura is showing more intelligence than an hour ago.”

Hermione said, “He did the maths, and realised that it’s smart now to ally with Harry Potter and Sirius Black, and gormless to go against you two.”

Some of the reporters who were standing in front of Fudge had noticed Harry’s group. The reporters tried to beckon Harry _et al_ to come over.

“ _Merlin_ ,” Harry said unhappily, “can’t I be ‘just Harry’ today? Why can’t those idiots leave me alone?”

Ted Tonks said, “If I may, Harry. Here’s my advice, both as your law-wizard and as your cousin’s husband. You as the Boy Who Lived, and Sirius Black as the only person to escape Azkaban, are already newsworthy.”

“ _Great_ ,” Harry muttered.

“Today out of five trials, you two were the only defendants acquitted; this makes you two _doubly_ newsworthy. My observation, Harry, is that I’ve never read of you speaking up for yourself, which leaves your enemies free to speak and to write anything they wish about you, without fear of contradiction.”

Hermione said, “You can handle crowds, Harry—you do it every Quidditch match, as the Gryffindor Seeker. You _easily_ can talk to some reporters.”

Harry glared at Ted. “I’ve spoken to the press _once_. To Rita Skeeter. And what I _said_ was not what she _wrote_.”

Hermione grinned evilly. “Harry, remember that Rita has a secret, and we know it.”

Harry’s nervousness vanished. “You’re right. _Oi_ , Padfoot, let’s you and I go talk to the press.”

Before Harry walked toward Fudge and the reporters, Harry murmured to Ted Tonks, “If Dumbledore tries to horn in on my press conference, put him in a Body-Bind.”

****

**A minute later**

Sirius was saying to the reporters, “I’ll speak first, then Harry will speak second. The first thing I’d like to say is heartfelt thanks to Minister Fudge. It takes a big man to admit when he’s wrong. Cornelius, let me shake your hand.”

As grinning Sirius Black walked over and shook the hand of grinning Cornelius Fudge, Harry at first was confused and angry. _How can Padfoot make nice with the clown who sent Dementors to kill him?_ But then Harry realised: _Now Minister Fudge will owe Padfoot a favour as big as a mountain_.

Harry walked over then, and himself shook Fudge’s hand. Sirius was wearing a charming smile, whereas Harry was wearing no smile at all; but Harry still shook Fudge’s hand, and turned toward a camera when he was requested to.

Then the questioning of Sirius began. A reporter asked, “How did you escape from Azkaban?”

Sirius replied, “It didn’t come out during my trial, but just as Peter Pettigrew is an animagus, I’m an unregistered animagus too. I can turn into a black dog—”

“Pardoned,” Fudge said. “Madam Bones, I pardon Sirius Black for being an unregistered animagus. Please make a note.”

Sirius smiled at Fudge and at Madam Bones both; only Harry noticed that Madam Bones’s return smile was _warm_.

Sirius continued, “Anyway, I turned into a dog and slipped through the bars of my cell. Fifteen minutes later, I was off Azkaban Island and, still in dog-form, swam to Scotland. Which almost killed me—that water is _cold_.”

Another reporter asked, “ _Why_ did you escape from Azkaban, after twelve years? Why not earlier?”

“In the _Daily Prophet_ , I saw a picture of Peter Pettigrew in his rat form. I realised that Peter could be in Hogwarts soon and would put my godson in danger—without Harry even knowing he _was_ in danger. After all, when you see a rat, you think ‘That rat might give me diseases,’ you don’t think ‘That rat could turn into a man, who’d then capture me and take me to You-Know-Who.’ ”

“So when you tried to sneak into Hogwarts, your purpose was to capture Peter Pettigrew the rat-animagus, _not_ to kill Harry Potter.”

“Exactly.”

Amongst the reporters, standing front and centre, was Rita Skeeter, with her acid-green Quick-Quotes Quill floating above a parchment. In a sexy voice, Rita asked Sirius, “It’s been a while since you escaped prison. Do you have a _special lady friend?_ ”

Harry touched Sirius on the shoulder, before Sirius could answer Rita’s question. “Pardon me a moment, Sirius.”

Harry drew his wand, fast enough to startle the reporters, pointed it at Rita’s green quill, and said “ _Accio_ Quick-Quotes Quill.”

As soon as the green quill moved within reach, Harry grabbed it and handed it to Hermione.

Needless to say, the reporters, Minister Fudge, the Aurors, Madam Bones and both Tonkses—all looked shocked. (Harry’s friends and Sirius looked only mildly surprised.)

Harry said, “In just a minute, my godfather Sirius will resume his part of the press conference, after Rita Skeeter walks out the door. Miss Skeeter, I promise you that you’ll get your Quick-Quotes Quill back unharmed—sometime before six in the evening _tomorrow_.”

Rita snapped, “And what makes you think I’ll simply walk out the door?”

Harry laughed. “Peer pressure, Rita. All these other reporters have deadlines, but I won’t answer even one question whilst I see you here. I’ve nowhere to go, and nothing to do, for twenty more days, so I can easily outwait you.”

Grinning Sirius said, “Whilst _I_ have nowhere to go and nothing to do for even longer than that.”

“You heard Potter,” a reporter said to Rita. “If Harry Potter wants you gone, get lost.”

“Yeah!” someone else said.

“All right, Harry,” said Rita with a sly smile, “I’ll walk out the door right now. And you won’t see me for the rest of the day. But I’m trusting you to return my quill.”

Harry waited for Rita to sashay almost as far as the door. “Miss Skeeter, a gentle reminder.” She stopped and looked at Harry, with her face looking _almost_ unworried. Harry said, “It would be _embarrassing_ for you if an Auror or myself _or Miss Granger_ were to cast that certain _detection_ spell in the next hour, and find you here after you’d promised to leave. Then certainly your _secret_ would come out.”

Rita’s face looked like she had seen a ghost, then she hurried out the door.

Harry heard a reporter ask, “Rita has a secret?”

Harry said, “Now, now, you lot. You should respect Rita’s privacy, just as she’d respect yours.”

The reporters all grinned like wolves.

****

**After Sirius finished talking to reporters**

Harry said, “It’s been pointed out to me that I’ve never talked to the press before—except for one time, during the Triwizard Tournament, and this was with Rita Skeeter. In case you can’t guess, I didn’t like what she wrote. Plus Rita wrote nasty libels about _Hermione_ too. _Bad_ reporter, _bad!_ ”

The reporters laughed.

Harry said, “Everything else ever written about me came from words of other people. _Nobody_ got it right—because some people misunderstood me, and some people slandered me. But you never heard about me from _me_. Today, this changes. Go ahead, ask me anything. Ask me about the Dementors’ attack ten days ago, or what my favourite colour is, or whatever.”

A female reporter said, “Can we talk about the memories we saw at your trial? For most of us in this room, if we tried to cast a patronus, all we’d make is a white mist. But you created a patronus that looked like a deer. More than that, your patronus didn’t merely drive the two Dementors away, your patronus ripped the two Dementors apart. How did you _do_ that?”

Harry replied, “I had a moment of a super-happy thought, which gave my patronus more _kick_.”

The witch-reporter said, “It looks to me like you’re much more magically powerful than most witches and wizards, and this is why your patronus was so powerful.”

Harry shrugged. “I doubt it. Nobody has ever told me this.”

A male reporter asked, “What happened on Halloween, 1981?”

“Would it surprise you that, even though I was only fifteen months old at the time, I remember some of that night? I remember my father yelling, ‘Lily, take Harry and go! It’s him! Go! Run! I’ll hold him off!’ I remember a male voice that my toddler-self never had heard before, telling my mother to move aside. He did this twice. She refused twice. He didn’t ask a third time; he hit my mother with a green flash, and she silently dropped to the floor. Then there was another green flash, and my forehead hurt. I cried, ‘Mummy, Mummy!’ but she wouldn’t wake up, and I couldn’t figure out why.”

“So you didn’t do anything to defeat You-Know-Who? That night, you performed no great magical trick?”

“I’m pretty sure _I_ didn’t do anything. I’m sure my mother did it. She was a prodigy at Charms and Potions, so I think she either combined two old spells, or invented a new spell. In short, she did magic that never had been done before; and when she died, the knowledge of her magic died with her. But instead of calling me ‘the Boy Who Lived,’ maybe you should call Lily Potter ‘the Mother Who Outsmarted.’ ”

A young-woman reporter asked, “Is Hermione Granger your girlfriend?”

Harry looked over at Hermione, who started to blush pink. Harry himself started to blush. Luna was smiling a dreamy smile, whilst Auror Tonks was smirking.

Harry replied, “We’ve never gone on a Hogsmeade date, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“ _Never?_ ” someone blurted. “C’mon, nobody believes this.”

“It’s true. But with this said, I trust Hermione completely. I trust her every way that a boy can trust a girl. When I marry, I’ll need to feel this same level of trust, or I won’t marry the girl. Hermione has spoilt me.”

“But what about your duty to House Potter?”

“I agree with my father, who married the girl he loved, even though all the Purebloods were _scandalised_ that he made a Muggle-born girl his wife, not his concubine.”

A different reporter asked, “Who is the prettiest girl at Hogwarts now?”

Grinning Harry turned to look at his friends. “I think Hermione is pretty, and my friend Luna is pretty too.” Both girls gave Harry big smiles.

The same reporter said, “Such loyalty. Are you sure you’re not in Hufflepuff? Let me rephrase: Other than Miss Granger and Miss Lovegood, who is the prettiest girl at Hogwarts?”

Harry briefly considered answering with _Susan Bones_. After all, this would make brownie points with Amelia Bones, who was standing close by, and having the director of the DMLE favour Harry surely would be a good thing, right?

But then Harry thought, _Gryffindors charge ahead_. Aloud, Harry guilelessly answered, “Daphne Greengrass of Slytherin. Her hair is shiny black, and she has the face of a goddess.”

Sirius said, “Pursue her, godson! I dated Angela Filch of Slytherin, back in the day.”

Harry grinned at Sirius and said, “True, but _you_ were a ‘womaniser wizard,’ back in the day. I am _not_ that.”

The same reporter, now grinning, asked Harry, “Have you ever taken Miss Greengrass on a Hogsmeade date? Have you kissed her?”

Harry laughed. “ _No_. One reason is, I think Daphne hates me.”

****

A reporter asked, “When Albus Dumbledore first was saying that You-Know-Who had returned, Minister Fudge worked to get him removed from being Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot. Similarly, because of politicking by Fudge, Dumbledore lost his post as Supreme Mugwump of the International Confederation of Wizards. Now that Minister Fudge believes that Voldemort has returned, I’m sure that Dumbledore will ask for his positions back. Do you think returning Dumbledore to power is a good idea?”

Harry looked over at Minister Fudge. “Dumbledore sitting in the posh chairs again? Please block it!”

Then Harry turned back to the reporters. “The headmaster of Hogwarts is a man who is unable to think ‘I might be mistaken.’ Here’s the perfect example: how Dumbledore defends Potions-professor Snape against all critics.”

Harry said to the reporters, “Are any of you under twenty-eight? Then you know what I’m talking about. Of all the millions of teachers in the world, wizard and Muggle, Snape is the _absolute worst of all_. It should be a no-brainer that he be sacked, right?”

Two reporters in their twenties nodded fervently.

“But Snape being dismissed hasn’t happened, and this won’t happen in the foreseeable future, all because Dumbledore is convinced he knows better than the hundreds of people who have filed complaints. How does Dumbledore answer all complaints about Snape? ‘Professor Snape has my complete confidence,’ spoken whilst acting expectant that this sentence should stop all arguments.”

Behind Harry, Hermione said, “This is true. I’ve heard the headmaster say these exact words, many times.”

Harry briefly turned to smile at Hermione, then he said, “Here’s another example of Dumbledore holding onto a wrong idea in the face of all reason, simply because _he_ was the person to think up the wrong idea—

“Dumbledore left me with the Dursleys, because he got it in his head that it was what I needed. Let me emphasise Dumbledore’s words: ‘Harry, I left you with the Dursleys for your own good.’ He never checked up on me even once, because it never occurred to him that he might be wrong about the Dursleys. The summers after my first year, second year, third year and fourth year, he insisted that I go back to the Dursleys—even after Madam Pomfrey _must have_ told him how much harm the Dursleys were causing me. The school Healer’s words didn’t matter to Dumbledore, who in his infinite wisdom _remained convinced_ that going back to the Dursleys was _for my own good_. But what about all those reports, from me and others, that the Dursleys were harming me? Dumbledore’s answer always was ‘Oh, the people saying these things are lying, or mistaken, or exaggerating, so I can disregard every one of those reports.’ ”

Harry looked about. Sirius and Madam Bones looked angry; Fudge looked thoughtful.

Harry said, “Okay, fine, so Dumbledore thinks he’s the only smart and wise person in Britain, and the rest of us are morons or children. Why do I claim that Dumbledore shouldn’t be Chief Warlock again?

“In the last war with Voldemort, Dumbledore created his own private army, the Order of the Phoenix. I’ve no desire to ever join it, because joining requires a magical oath of obedience to Dumbledore himself. Insert eye-roll here.” Harry followed the words with the action, as shocked muttering could be heard in the atrium.

Harry continued, “My second problem with joining the Order of the Phoenix is that up till 1981, when Order members were fighting Death Eaters, Dumbledore ordered his fighters to cast only Stunners and Body-Bind spells—against Dark wizards who were trying to _kill_ them. I ask you: Is it a good idea in 1995 to give Dumbledore the political power to limit the entire DMLE to using children’s spells when they fight Death Eaters?”

Harry glanced at Auror Tonks. “I have a close relative who is an Auror. What I _don’t_ want is for Death Eaters to be shooting AKs and _Diffindo_ s at her, and her being told that if she fires back with anything harsher than _Stupefy_ s and _Incarcerous_ es, that she’ll be sacked.”

Harry glanced about. Madam Bones and all the red-robed Aurors, including Tonks, looked annoyed at the idea of having to play nice with Death Eaters.

Harry said, “If our only problem were Voldemort, then I’d say, ‘Let Dumbledore do whatever he wants,’ because Dumbledore is the best duellist in Britain. But the problem is not Voldemort alone, the problem is Voldemort _plus_ his Death Eaters. And just because Dumbledore can defeat Voldemort one-on-one, _doesn’t_ mean we should follow Dumbledore’s ideas about how to fight a war against Voldemort’s minions.”

“Yeah!” someone in the atrium said.

Harry raised his voice: “I think Chief Warlock Cyrus Greengrass is doing a great job at running the Wizengamot. I think Amelia Bones is doing a great job as Director of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement.” Harry had to pause when applause broke out. “Keep these two where they are, doing what they’re doing, and we’ll create problems for Voldemort. But if you put back in power a misguided pacifist who ignores everyone’s opinion but his own, then Voldemort will benefit at our expense.”

A reporter said, “That is a long list of things you have against Dumbledore.”

Harry shrugged. “Actually, I’ve more than those. When Dumbledore was Chief Warlock back in 1981, he sealed my parents’ wills and appointed himself my magical guardian, which _went against_ what both wills said. Once Dumbledore took the job as my magical guardian, he took money from my trust vault for no good reason, _besides_ Dumbledore giving me to the Dursleys to raise. Lord Greengrass is a conscientious Chief Warlock, and he doesn’t need to be replaced with a thief and an accessory to child abuse.”

“True,” someone said.

Harry said, “Also, two years ago there was a sixty-foot basilisk slithering about Hogwarts, petrifying _Hermione_ , other students and the caretaker’s cat. It was only by sheer _luck_ that the basilisk didn’t kill anyone, before the basilisk was itself killed. What did Headmaster Dumbledore do about the basilisk? _Nothing_. Who killed the basilisk? _Me_ , a second-year student. Do we want to take a man who’s incompetent as a headmaster and put him back in charge of the Wizengamot, merely because he won a famous duel in the 1940s? I think not.”

Hermione stepped forward and put her hand on Harry’s shoulder. She said to the reporters, “Only a few of us had been petrified when Harry killed the basilisk—the _sixty-foot-long_ basilisk. Harry saved the school. To whom should you listen—Harry Potter, who saves children, or a whiskered old man who leaves a child with hurtful relatives and who never follows up?”

Luna looked at the reporters. “ _Who_ killed the basilisk? Harry Potter did. Harry Potter was a hero two years ago when he killed a deadly basilisk, he was a hero two months ago when he fought You-Know-Who in a graveyard, and he was a hero ten days ago, when he saved his Muggle cousin. You people who’ve written bad things about Harry Potter this summer, you are helping You-Know-Who now. Shame on you.”

The reporters, as a group, looked ashamed.

****

**One second later**

Harry still was facing the reporters. Hermione still was standing next to him, also facing the reporters, with her hand still on his shoulder. Harry thought, _I can handle these reporters. I can handle_ anything _. Hermione is with me_.

Then finally, almost four years after the troll in the lavatory, over two years after Hermione was petrified, Harry finally realised what his feelings for Hermione _meant_.

 _Gryffindors charge ahead_ , Harry thought.

Harry looked out at the reporters and said, “I dodged the question before, but now I want to answer it plainly: Hermione is my girlfriend. Magically she’s more than this, she’s my _wife_ , because we’re soulmates. I love her.”


	7. Talking about the Futures

**Still Saturday, 12th August  
** **Still at the Ministry of Magic, in the atrium**

Harry looked out at the reporters and said, “I dodged the question before, but now I want to answer it plainly: Hermione is my girlfriend. Magically she’s more than this, she’s my _wife_ , because we’re soulmates. I love her.”

This was when Hermione grabbed the front of Harry’s shirt, pulled him close, and kissed him like she meant it.

Maybe a camera bulb flashed. Harry did not care.

****

**Minutes later**

Ted Tonks pulled a rope from a pocket; the ends of the rope had been woven together to make a circle that was a foot in diameter. He explained to Harry and company, “Andromeda told me to invite you lot home with me, if we’ve anything to celebrate. I believe we’ve met this minimum standard.”

Auror Tonks said, “I can’t go with you now, Dad, but I’m pretty sure I can manage this evening. That is, if you lot are still partying so late.”

Sirius said, “Before we Portkey away, just a moment, please.”

Sirius walked over to Madam Bones and spoke to her lowly. Harry saw the DMLE Director smile warmly at Sirius, even as she shook her head and pointed at her watch.

Sirius walked back to the group and grabbed the rope-circle. (Harry, Hermione, Luna and Ted Tonks already were holding the rope-circle.) Sirius reported, “Amy says she can’t join us now, but she thinks she can swing by this evening.”

As Ted Tonks said “ _Activate!_ ” Hermione blurted, “Wait, ‘ _Amy_ ’?”

At the Tonkses’ house, after everyone had recovered from the Portkey trip, Harry explained to Hermione, “Don’t you remember when we talked to Madam Bones, nine days ago? She’s ‘Amy.’ Back before Azkaban, Sirius and Amelia Bones, you could say, shared a _history_.”

Hermione mock-glared at Sirius. “Is there any woman in Wizarding Britain, of your approximate age, with whom you _don’t_ ‘share a history’?”

Laughing Andromeda walked into the room then. “Myself and my two sisters. And even then, I kissed Sirius when I was thirteen, because I wondered what kissing a boy was like.”

Then Andromeda looked at everyone. “So, exactly what are we celebrating? Neither Sirius nor Harry are in prison tonight, which is _brilliant_ —are we celebrating anything else?”

Hermione took Harry’s hand, as she looked at the three adults in the room. “Today Harry said that he loved me and that we were soulmates—he said it in front of reporters.”

“It was a beautiful moment,” said Luna.

Andromeda said, “Doesn’t this mean you two are _magically married?_ Why isn’t Hermione wearing a ring?”

“A _ring?_ ” Harry choked. He blushed scarlet. “Erm, because I forgot to get her a ring. I’m Muggle-raised, so without a ceremony, it doesn’t _feel_ like we’re married.”

Hermione said, “But when the time comes that Harry and I _feel_ married, look out! We _shall_ make up for lost time. I pledge to you that by the time Harry is thirty, he’ll have gotten his _socks melted_ just as many times as any playboy you could name.” Hermione gave Sirius the evil eye.

Sirius grinned—but then he looked at Harry, and Sirius’s face turned, well, _serious_. “Harry, I need to set things right. At the beginning of this summer, you’d just watched Cedric Diggory be callously murdered in front of you, and you were surrounded by Muggle relatives who hated you. You were alone and you were sad. This was when Dumbledore told me who’s your godfather, and told your best friend Ron and your best friend Hermione, all to _not_ write to you. Hermione _refused_ —and in so doing, she proved _why_ she’s your best friend.”

Sirius paused whilst Harry and Hermione kissed.

Sirius continued, “But Ron and I, to our shame, went against our instincts and obeyed the request of one colourfully dressed headmaster. I _knew_ Dumbledore didn’t give a rat’s arse about me, but somehow I believed him when he implied that stopping all letters to you somehow would help you. I feel like a fool. Harry, can you forgive me?”

Harry didn’t reply with words. He ran to Sirius and gave him a Hermy-hug. Before the two wizards broke their hug, Hermione rushed over and hugged them both.

****

**A bit later**

Hermione said to Luna, “You helped Harry in a way that nobody else could, and now I realise I know nothing about you. So please tell Harry and me about yourself.”

“My name is Luna, but almost everyone calls me ‘Loony’ ”—Harry scowled—“because I see nargles, wrackspurts and other creatures that nobody else can.”

“I ... see,” said Hermione. Harry guessed that Hermione was thinking _She indeed sounds mad_ , but chose not to say so.

Luna continued, “I also see auras, which few other people can see. I can tell a lot about a person from his or her aura.”

“Like what?” Hermione asked.

“Hermione Granger, much of your aura is a rich royal blue, which means you’re keen for knowledge. I think this is why Rowena chose blue as the Ravenclaw colour. Anyway, yellow means happiness—but I’ve never seen even a bit of yellow in Harry’s aura.”

Harry nodded. “Oh, I get happy sometimes—but for only a few minutes a week. You probably were never near me when I was happy.”

“White means determination. Grey means resolve, but a resolve that the person will give up if things get hard. I see grey often, at the beginning and end of the term. But white? Of all the professors and all the students, only Harry has ever shown white in his aura, and he shows it often.”

“Oh, wow,” said Hermione.

“Then there is pink; pink means love. Right now, sitting so close to each other, you both show pink more than you show any other colour.”

Harry and Hermione looked at each other and smiled.

Luna said, “What else to tell? I also can see the futures. A bit. Sometimes.”

Harry said, “Fu _turezzz?_ Plural?”

“Oh yes,” Luna said cheerfully. She looked at Hermione and said, “When we were riding home on the train last month, I looked at you and saw two futures. In one future, our headmaster wanted to take you someplace at the beginning of summer break, you went with him, and years from now you were married to Ronald Weasley.”

Hermione choked. “ _Ron?_ ”

Luna said casually, “Love potions might have pushed you to decide this.”

“ _What?_ ” said both Harry and Hermione.

Luna said cheerfully, “In the other future, Hermione Granger, you _didn’t_ go with the headmaster, and this led to you and Harry Potter becoming soulmates during summer hols.” Luna clapped her hands. “Which is the future that has happened!”

Hermione blurted, “Why didn’t you warn me on the train? Why didn’t you tell me, ‘Don’t go with Professor Dumbledore or your life will be ruined’?”

Luna shrugged. “Problems come up when I tell someone about a future of theirs that I foresee. But without such a clear-cut warning, I figured it to be almost certain that you’d choose to obey the headmaster.”

Harry nodded. “You know Hermione well, Luna.”

Then Harry asked, “What’s the problem with warning Hermione about her future?”

Luna replied, “I call it ‘Seer smoke.’ If I’d told Hermione Granger her futures on the train, on 1st July, then I wouldn’t have been able to foresee Hermione’s futures if I looked during the next month; or if I _could_ see some of her futures during the next month, all I could catch would be glimpses of the future. ‘Seer smoke’ would block my Sight.”

Hermione said, “But my life was safe and boring till 2nd August, which was a month and a day after the trainride. Warning me on 1st July probably wouldn’t have hurt me.”

Luna looked at Harry and shrugged. “All right, maybe there would be no Seer smoke when I turned my Sight upon Hermione on 2nd August, which is the day of the Dementors attack, but this would be cutting it close. To give you the help you needed on 2nd August, Harry Potter, I needed to see your futures, and Hermione Granger’s futures, and my own futures, all clearly.”

Hermione said, “I thought Seers couldn’t see their own future.”

Luna smiled. “Oh, we can—or at least, _I_ can. But as soon as I _act_ on my knowledge of my futures, my futures become clouded by Seer smoke. Not knowing my futures is _horrid_ , so I need quite a good reason to put myself in that spot.”

Hermione said, “On the train last month, you foresaw Harry being attacked by Dementors? And furthermore, you foresaw all the ways this could go?”

“I did, Hermione Granger. I foresaw Harry Potter fighting the Dementors by himself, I foresaw me at the playground but not you because I couldn’t find you, and I foresaw both of us and your parents at the playground. I also foresaw the trials that happened ten days after those three versions of the Dementors’ attack.”

Hermione asked, “How did the other timelines’ trials turn out?”

“Harry’s trials in the other versions of today turned out only Acceptable, because neither he nor I thought of sending a message-patronus to Amelia Bones. This was _your_ suggestion, Hermione Granger, and Harry’s trial turned out Outstanding today because of your _brilliant_ suggestion.”

Harry laughed. “Take a bow, Hermione!”

Still laughing, Harry asked, “Back before Hermione and I became soulmates, did you ever foresee me married to someone other than Hermione?”

Luna smiled dreamily. “Oh yes. Myself, Ginny Weasley—”

Harry frowned.

“—Daphne Greengrass, Susan Bones, Padma Patil and Dora Tonks.”

Then Luna’s smile faded. “But mostly when I look at your futures, Harry Potter, I see the next war with Voldemort either won or lost.”

****

Harry and Hermione exchanged a look.

Harry then said, “Please explain what you mean, Luna.”

“You are the centre of destiny, Harry. In futures where you survive the next war, you always kill You-Know-Who. In all but one of the futures where you die, You-Know-Who wins. In only one future does You-Know-Who kill you, but then Neville Longbottom kills him.”

“So if I can stay alive, we win the war?”

Luna made the rocking-hand gesture. “In futures where you followed Albus Dumbledore’s advice, either You-Know-Who killed you or you killed him _but_ many people died who were close to you. When you trusted your instincts and followed Hermione Granger’s advice, fewer good people died and victory came sooner—and you didn’t die except in one future, by bad luck.”

“Can you tell me more?”

“Are you sure you want me to? Up till now, I’ve been vague, except for warning you against taking Albus Dumbledore’s advice. Even so, your future now is hidden behind Seer smoke—probably about a week’s worth. If I tell you more specifics about what I’ve seen, your future will be hidden, or mostly hidden, behind Seer smoke for a month or more—till mid-September. If You-Know-Who attacks you on the Hogwarts Express, I won’t have Sight of it ahead of time and I can’t warn you.”

Hermione said, “Let me see if I understand the problem. Suppose you tell Harry about his futures. Then right afterwards, Harry doesn’t do A, which is what he would’ve done if he didn’t know his futures; instead, Harry does B. Doing B creates new futures for Harry, but it’s a month after Harry does B before you know what these new futures are.”

“Exactly,” Luna said.

Harry said, “Luna, I need to think about everything you’ve told me.”

****

**That evening, still at the Tonkses’ house**

By now, monocle-wearing Director Amelia Bones and pink-haired Auror Dora Tonks had joined the party.

Harry, with his arm about Hermione, watched Sirius, with his arm about Amelia, as the two of them sat and talked on a settee. The two thirty-somethings were constantly smiling at each other, and the usually stern director of the DMLE was constantly touching (and sometimes even _caressing_ ) Sirius’s arm.

Shortly after Amelia had arrived at the party, Sirius had been owled a letter; Hermione was bursting with curiosity to know what was in the letter. So Harry led Hermione over to the older couple.

“ _Oi_ , Loverboy!” Sirius said when Harry and Hermione got close.

Harry said to Hermione, “Sirius doesn’t see the irony of him calling anyone else ‘Loverboy’?” Then Harry asked Sirius, “What’s in the letter?”

“It’s from our long-whiskered friend. The main part of the letter is him politely _ordering_ me, now that I’ve custody of you over his objections, to lock you up you-know-where, and to not release you till 10:59 a.m. on 1st September, so that you’ll be ‘safe.’ And furthermore, he’ll be disappointed in me if I do anything less than completely restrict you for the entire rest of the summer, with his requirements being, quote, ‘for Harry’s own good.’ ”

Harry said sarcastically, “See me trembling in suspense? I’m wondering what your reaction is.”

“If Dumbledore were here, my answer would be ‘I’ll do nothing of the kind,’ followed by two minutes of profanity not suitable for the ears of the lovely Miss Granger.”

The lovely Miss Granger (who in actuality was Lady Potter) asked, “What does the rest of the letter say?”

Sirius replied, “He’s offered me the post of DADA teacher for this upcoming year. I’ll tell him ‘no’ for this too, but I’ll be polite about it. If it were anyone other than Dumbles asking, I’d actually be flattered.”

Amelia said, “We’re discussing what this means for you Hogwarts students. We’re _concerned_. In a worst case, Minister Fudge loans out some Ministry employee who got an Acceptable on his DADA NEWT. Percy Weatherby, say.”

Sirius said, “Or even worse, Hogwarts is loaned some Ministry employee who didn’t even sit the NEWT exam for Defence. Can you imagine _Dolores Umbridge_ teaching the course?”

Both Sirius and Amelia made a face.

Harry was trying to place the name, “Dolores Umbridge.” Hermione explained to Harry, “She was the Ministry employee who murdered people and tried to murder you with those Dementors. She was Kissed today.”

Harry said, “Madam Bones, why don’t you loan out an Auror for a year? Just make sure he isn’t a former Order member or former Slytherin.”

Amelia asked, “Why those two rules?”

“If he’s former Order of the Phoenix, and he’s in the castle with the whiskered one, he’ll be Dumbledore’s lapdog in less than a day.” Dora Tonks, listening nearby, nodded. “As for Slytherin, right now Slytherin students can do _anything_ to _anyone_ , and Head of House Snape never punishes them for it. The last thing the rest of the student body needs is _two_ faculty members giving Slytherin kids a free pass.”

Amelia replied, “The problem is that, for all of Dumbledore’s codswallop about Hogwarts being ‘the finest magical school in the world,’ my Aurors consider the place to be a _pit_ , and any Auror sent there would consider the transfer to be a _punishment_.”

Hermione asked, “Why not decide which Auror teaches DADA at Hogwarts, by holding a _raffle?_ ”

Harry said, “Just make sure, Madam Bones, that if you put some kind of restrictive magical circle round the hat, or bowl, or goblet, or whatever the names are put in, that the magical circle can’t be outsmarted. Because if this happens, it’s annoying for whoever ‘wins,’ believe me.”

****

In the next fifteen minutes, the details of the Auror Raffle were worked out, with each partygoer contributing a suggestion.

At the end, it was decided that _in_ eligible Aurors would be former Slytherins, former members of the Order of the Phoenix and Aurors Second Class (the lowest Auror rank, once graduated from the Auror Academy). Of the rest, each Auror would get one slip put into the raffle for each promotion from Auror Second Class. In other words, each Auror First Class would be put into the raffle only once, whilst higher-ranked Aurors would each generate more than one slip. All the raffle slips would be dumped into a conjured glass bowl, and the name of one “lucky” Auror would be drawn by the DMLE departmental secretary, Euphemia Banks.

The “winner” still would be considered a DMLE employee, being paid by the DMLE and not by Hogwarts, and his/her seniority would be unhurt by his/her year at Hogwarts.

Harry said at the end, “Make sure whoever gets sent off to the castle understands that he or she is an Auror first and a professor second. If the DADA professor witnesses an assault and wants to make an arrest, the headmaster doesn’t have authority to forbid the arrest, which means the Auror is obliged to ignore the headmaster’s order.”

Luna said, “Someone in Hogwarts Castle saying _no_ to our headmaster? All the portraits would gasp in shock.” She giggled.

****

**Later during the party**

Amelia asked Harry, “At the press conference, what was with those mysterious things you were saying to Rita Skeeter?”

Harry replied, “Rita has a secret, and Hermione and I know the secret. Hermione?”

Hermione grinned a shark-grin at Amelia. “Not two months ago, she promised to keep her quill to herself for a year, in return for me keeping her secret. So why was she at the press conference this afternoon? To write nasty lies about Sirius and Harry, I’m sure. I’ve decided she’s broken her half of our agreement, so I’m going to break my half. Are you ready? This is juicy.”

“How juicy?”

“Rita is an unregistered animagus. She turns into a water beetle with rectangular markings around its eyes, that look like the rectangular glasses that she wears. I actually had her in a glass jar for a while.”

Amelia’s grin was just as sharklike. “Oh, I want to collect _that_ memory for sure.”

****

**Later**

Harry had been enjoying the Tonkses’ party. Everyone at the party was interesting to talk to, the snacks were tasty, the butterbeer was cold and Hermione’s lips were kissable.

Yet part of Harry’s mind kept thinking about what Luna had said earlier.

Now Harry came to a decision. He looked at Hermione and Luna and said, “Come with me.”

Harry led the two teen girls into the garage of the Tonkses’ house, so Harry could avoid being overheard without needing to use underage magic.

Harry said to Luna, “Tell me about my futures. Tell me what to avoid when I’m fighting Voldemort, so I don’t bollock everything up. Tell me how to win so nobody dies.”

Luna said, “The first thing you need to know is that what was in your scar was a piece of You-Know-Who. It turns out, there are other pieces of You-Know-Who out there—and before you can hope to kill You-Know-Who and he stays dead, you need to find and destroy those pieces of him.”

“Do you know where those pieces are at?”

“All but one.”


	8. Minerva Wakes Up

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One of the _Daily Prophet_ headlines mentioned in this chapter is a parody of the front-page _New York Daily News_ headline for 30th October, 1975: “Ford to [New York] City: Drop Dead.” President Gerald Ford lost the election of 1976, and he claimed that this _Daily News_ headline was one of the reasons why. (What the headline meant: At the time, the city government of New York City was nearly bankrupt, and President Ford gave a speech in which he said he would not give the city government a bailout.)

**The next morning: Sunday, 13th August  
** **Hogwarts Castle**

As Albus ate breakfast, he was marking time till the owl-mail came. He was eager to discover whether Sirius had agreed to Albus’s orders-phrased-as-suggestions about Harry. It was for the Greater Good that Harry be kept isolated and alone, in the company of adults (such as Vernon Dursley and Molly Weasley) who would keep Harry humble and intimidated.

Albus also was waiting for the mail-owls because he was mildly curious whether anything interesting had happened at the Ministry yesterday afternoon, after the five trials had ended. Albus had wanted to talk to Fudge afterwards, about getting his Chief Warlock and Supreme Mugwump posts back, now that Voldemort was known to be alive—but Albus had wanted to talk to Fudge _alone_. (Because it is unwise to _Confundus_ someone in the presence of witnesses.) So as soon as Albus had spotted Fudge in the atrium and surrounded by reporters, Albus had found a Floo and had headed back to Hogwarts.

When this morning’s mail-owls finally arrived, Albus received Sirius’s letter and today’s _Daily Prophet_ at the same time. All of Albus’s interest was on the letter; he absentmindedly paid the other owl for the newspaper without ever glancing at that newspaper.

No sooner had Albus paid off the _Daily Prophet_ owl and the owl had flown away, but a third owl arrived. This owl brought an official DMLE letter, “from the desk of Director Amelia S. Bones.”

As Albus opened Sirius’s letter, Minerva said cheerfully, “Look, Pomona! Mr Potter and Miss Granger are _kissing!_ ”

Albus glanced up. Harry and Hermione, previously only good friends, now were _seriously_ kissing on the front page of the _Prophet_. Albus recalled that Gellert had kissed Albus just as passionately, a long time ago.

Albus’s attention returned to Sirius’s letter. At the end of his reading, Albus wanted to snarl. No, Sirius wrote, he would not take the position of DADA teacher at Hogwarts; Albus still had his staffing problem there. Worse, Sirius got downright insulting about Albus’s “suggestions” about caring for Harry during these last few weeks for summer. Sirius had written, “You clearly know nothing about the raising of children. How is it that you’re still in charge of the _teaching_ of children? _Confundus_ is a charm easy to use on an idiot like Fudge, isn’t it?”

Albus vanished Sirius’s letter, then reluctantly opened the letter from Amelia. This letter told Albus that Amelia was aware that he needed to hire a DADA professor, and she offered a solution: She would loan him an experienced Auror to teach the class for one school year. “The good news for you, headmaster, is that you won’t need to pay him/her at all. He or she still will be on the DMLE payroll.”

Albus frowned. He had to agree that not needing to pay the DADA professor was a reason to accept Amelia’s offer. On the other hand, Albus would not be this professor’s ultimate authority, Aurors were sometimes less than awestruck when they had dealings with Albus, and Aurors certainly had quaint attitudes about Slytherin schoolboys engaging in immature but technically harmful behaviour.

Amelia, at the end of her letter, mentioned that she could not tolerate any Auror giving a magical oath that might conflict with his/her Auror oath. So Amelia had forbade all Aurors from joining the Order of the Phoenix; and any Aurors who were already members, Amelia had ordered to resign. Albus already was aware of part of Amelia’s new policy—Hestia Jones, Kingsley Shacklebolt and Nymphadora Tonks already had sent Albus “I resign from the Order” letters.

Albus wanted to yell at Amelia. With Aurors now gone from the Order, never to return, well-meaning amateurs were all that the Order had left as members (except for Severus and Alastor), and well-meaning amateurs were all that Albus could hope to recruit for the Order in the future.

Albus set Amelia’s letter aside. With every fibre of his being, he wanted to refuse Amelia’s offer of a “free” Auror DADA teacher; but Albus feared that circumstances might force him to accept the offer.

With the two letters read, Albus picked up that day’s _Daily Prophet_.

At the top of the front page, in huge type, was the banner headline “THIS WAS POTTER’S DAY!” Below this banner headline was the photograph that Minerva had drawn Pomona’s attention to, of Miss Granger kissing Harry.

Underneath the huge banner headline were three regular-sized headlines. The first two headlines of the three were “Five Trials Held Yesterday, All about Potter,” and “He’s Off the Market.” But it was the third below-banner headline that caught Albus’s eye—

“Potter to Headmaster: Drop Dead.”

Reading the headline’s newspaper article, in which Potter said a hundred unflattering things about the Leader of the Light, Albus felt _enraged_ by Harry’s _disloyalty_. Harry even questioned Albus’s worthiness as _headmaster_.

Albus resolved that when the boy returned to school, Albus not only would do nothing to stop punishments by Severus, Albus would _encourage_ such punishments. (Not that Severus needed encouragement to make Harry suffer.)

****

**Meanwhile, at the next seat to the right at the High Table**

Minerva McGonagall, reading the same _Prophet_ article, at first was shocked how _disloyal_ Mr Potter was. He had no praise for Albus at all!

Then Minerva recalled Mr Potter’s four years at Hogwarts—again and again being shoved into danger and crisis, none of it of his own making. Minerva realised how Mr Potter must see the school: a place where students must solve their own problems, and must even save themselves and each other from mortal threats. And why? Because the professors were indifferent to the students’ plights, at best, and willfully would add to the students’ problems, at worst.

After reading the newspaper article, and thinking about Mr Potter’s life at Hogwarts, Minerva resolved not to be slavishly devoted to Albus anymore. Minerva also resolved to be a more hands-on Head of House for Gryffindor’s most famous current student.

****

**Meanwhile, at the Granger house in Crawley**

The dentists and their daughter were hosting Harry, Sirius and Luna for breakfast.

After breakfast, Sirius would take Luna home. Then Sirius would take Harry and Hermione to the _Daily Prophet_ offices (where they would drop off Rita Skeeter’s Quick-Quotes Quill), then Sirius would take the soulbound couple to Number 12, Grimmauld Place. After a week there, Hermione would be returned to her parents’ house, despite the expressed wishes of one long-bearded headmaster.

Now in the Granger kitchen, Emma said, “Luna, I’m afraid Dan and I don’t know anything about you, despite sharing an adventure a fortnight ago. Please tell us about yourself.”

Luna said, “I warn the other students about wrackspurt and nargle infestations, but some children don’t like to hear those things. This year they stole my stuff and hit me, but Harry Potter saved me, then got all my stuff back. Harry Potter is the ultimate Gryffindor, quite chivalrous, even though the Hat wanted to put him in Slytherin.”

 _Oh no_ , Hermione thought. Her parents were looking at Luna as though the dreamy-smiling blonde were crazy.

Dan asked, “What’s a wrackspurt?”

Emma asked, “What’s a nargle?”

Sirius said, “The Hat wanted to put Harry in _Slytherin?_ ”

Luna answered dreamily, “Wrackspurts are invisible creatures that fly in through a person’s ears and cause fuzzy thinking. Our headmaster and our Potions professor both are infested with wrackspurts. Nargles like to live in mistletoe, and they like to steal things. Last year, nargles stole my shoes.”

Harry said, “Actually, last year three Ravenclaw fifth-year bully girls took Luna’s shoes. They also were hitting her, till I stopped them.”

Hermione said, “You never told me about this. When was this?”

Harry shrugged. “Sometime between the First Task and the Yule Ball. I handled it by myself, so there was no need to tell you.”

Hermione looked at her parents. “Have I told you that Harry _hates_ to brag?”

Then Hermione said to her parents, “As for Luna, she’s a Seer. You know what tea-leaves readers, palm readers and Tarot-card readers claim they can do, which is to see the future? Luna really can. Sometimes.”

Luna giggled. “I’m pants at Divination though. Tea leaves are disgusting to touch; they’re wet. I’d much rather do divination with Exploding Snap cards than Tarot cards, but then I keep getting distracted by all the loud _bang_ s.”

Hermione’s parents were giving Luna an _Is she crazy?_ look again, so Hermione asked Luna, “When Harry had to fight off the Dementors, you knew about this ahead of time, right?”

Luna nodded. “I did. I knew the day before, that Harry Potter would need all four of us. I timed my calling of the Knight Bus so that I’d come to this house at the right minute, so that we’d arrive at the playground in Dr Granger’s Muggle carriage at the right minute.”

Sirius said, “Hold on. When Dolores Umbridge was plotting to attack Harry with Dementors, you _knew_ it?”

Luna smiled dreamily. “Actually, I knew Harry Potter needed me a month before that. On 1st July, as we were riding the Express back to London, I got a vision: _Magical Britain soon will desperately need Harry Potter, and soon Harry Potter will desperately need me_. When the train arrived, I told my father that I needed to stay in Britain this summer, so we cancelled our trip to Sweden.”

****

**Ten minutes later**

Whilst everyone at the Granger house was eating breakfast, a strange owl pecked at the kitchen window. It turned out that the owl had brought a letter for Harry.

_Dear Harry (Heir Potter),_

_Thank you for saying I was the prettiest girl at Hogwarts. Despite what you said in the newspaper, I don’t hate you, not even close. But since there’s no chance of Granger running off to Bulgaria and marrying Viktor Krum, not to mention the whole_ she’s-your-soulmate _thing, any relationship between you and me won’t be happening._

_But with that said, my father has remarked that you really impressed him on “the day of five trials,” so he favours a marriage between your House and mine._

_As for myself, I’d much rather marry_ you _than, say, Sam Flint of House Flint. Still, I know that I, supposedly the girl with a face like a goddess, can’t hold a candle to Granger in your eyes._

_Sincerely,_

_Daphne Greengrass, Heiress Greengrass_

Harry read the letter, then nervously passed the letter to Hermione, who read it aloud.

For several seconds the dentists were quiet. Then Dan asked angrily, “Do we have to worry about this pretty girl stealing Harry away and breaking our daughter’s heart?” Dan glared at the boy being discussed.

Sirius said, “Actually, it’s quite the opposite. It doesn’t matter how beautiful this girl looks, Harry and Hermione being soulmates means the girl has no chance with Harry. Relax, Dan and Emma.”

****

**A half-hour later  
** **At Number 12, Grimmauld Place, London**

Sirius, Harry and Hermione arrived at a house that was quiet (except for shouting by Mrs Black’s portrait at first).

Rushing to greet the new arrivals were the four youngest Weasley children, plus Remus Lupin.

Ron eyed Harry and Hermione and said, “I’m so glad you’re here. Without you, this place is _boring_.”

Harry looked at Remus and said tactfully, “I’m surprised to see you here today. I figured you’d be, you know, _elsewhere_.”

Remus winced. “You heard about Sirius throwing me out, huh?”

Harry nodded.

Remus said, “Sirius pointed out something I didn’t want to think about, by asking me, ‘How many werewolf students has Dumbledore let into Hogwarts, after he let _you_ in?’ When I checked, I found out that the answer was _none_. The werewolf packs know this, but _moron I_ went about Britain defending Dumbledore. When I realised I’d been _played_ , I resigned from the Order of the Phoenix.”

Sirius said, “Plus I told Moony that, even with him being a friend of Harry’s parents, I wouldn’t let him come near Harry if that oath of obedience to Dumbledore still was in play.”

“ _Ahem_ ,” Ginny said. “So Harry—you and Hermione, _hm?_ ”

Harry grinned. “Yeah, she’s my girlfriend now, she’s my soulmate, magically she’s my wife, _she’s_ brilliant and _my life_ is brilliant. If Voldy would walk in the door now, I’d hug him, I’m so happy.”

Harry had not noticed that Ron’s ears had turned red. So Harry was caught by surprise when Ron yelled, “You’re so selfish, Potter! You _know_ I fancied Hermione!”

As Ron glared at Harry, the foyer was completely quiet; even Mrs Black kept silent.

****

After a pause, Harry said, “Ronald, in four years, you’ve done nothing when you were near Hermione except to argue with her, to insult her and to demean her. That is, when you weren’t asking her to do your homework for you. _Who_ was it who made her run crying into the loo, four years ago? _Who_ made her cry at the Yule Ball last year? If this is what fancying Hermione means, then Malfoy must spend all his class time drawing little ‘DM+HG’ hearts in the margins of his textbooks.”

Ginny stuck her chin out and said, “Mum says that you should marry a Pureblood girl from a Light family.”

Hermione stared at Ginny and growled, “That could work, I suppose. _Susan Bones_ is pretty enough, and she doesn’t _stare and drool_ when Harry talks to her.” Ginny’s face started to turn red like her brother’s. Hermione added, “But too bad for Susan—and you too—but Harry _already_ is magically married. To _me_.”

Ron said, “But I’m a _Pureblood_ , Hermione, whilst Potter’s only a _halfblood_. You should be _relieved_ that I want to marry you.”

Harry said, “Christ on the cross, _this_ is the reason that you Purebloods are so _inbred_. _If_ Hermione were to marry you, Weasley—”

“Which,” interrupted Hermione, “each second that passes, I’m becoming more and more glad that I _won’t_.”

“—if she, who’s a Muggle-born, were to marry you, a Pureblood, _you_ wouldn’t be doing _her_ a favour, _she’d_ be doing _you_ a favour, genetically speaking.”

Just then, Ron’s hair turned white-blond. Ginny gasped. At Ron’s confused look, one of the twins helpfully conjured a hand mirror for him.

“ _Change my hair back!_ ” Ron demanded.

A twin replied, “Nope, not happening. If you’re—”

“—going to talk like Malfoy—,” said the other twin.

“—then you should—”

“—look like him too.”

Sirius and Remus both grinned in approval.

“ _So_ ,” said Harry, trying to change the subject, “does anyone else have any other news to share?”

A twin answered, “Mum made us clean this house—”

“—until Sirius tossed her out,” said the other twin.

“Now we have tonnes of free time,” said Twin A.

Twin B added, “We’ve _never_ had free time, away from Hogwarts. We’re freaked out.”

Harry grinned. “And Sirius doesn’t have a garden to de-gnome, so that’s _more_ free time for you lot. Any other news?”

Ginny said, “Mum _went spare_ when she read today’s paper. She says Harry should be _ashamed_ of himself for all the bad things he said about the headmaster.”

Hermione said hotly, “Actually, Harry didn’t say _enough_ bad things. What about this summer, when the so-called ‘Leader of the Light’ wanted Harry’s family and _so-called_ friends to leave him _alone_ , isolated, to fester in the _needless guilt_ he felt for Cedric Diggory’s death? What kind of man says, ‘Harry Potter saw a boy die and watched the killer of his parents be resurrected, so how about I cut him off from all his friends’? What’s worse, Dumbledore, in order to persuade _me_ to betray my best friend this summer, _lied_ to me!”

Harry and Hermione exchanged a look. Then Hermione asked Sirius, “Would you take me home, please? I can’t deal with even one week of listening to Pureblood _entitlement_. If I wanted _that_ , I’d be asking you to drop me off at Malfoy Manor. _Draco_ , at least, has table manners.”

Still-Malfoy-blond Ron sputtered, even as the twins laughed.

Sirius frowned. “How about instead, I throw out the youngest two? This would leave just the twins and Arthur here.”

Hermione asked, “Is Arthur still under that oath of obedience to Dumbledore?”

Sirius sighed. “Good point. So it looks like I must throw _him_ out too.” Sirius looked at the twins. “Sorry I have to give your father the boot, but protecting Harry is more important.”

Ron yelled, “ _If you throw me out, if you throw Ginny and me out, Potter, you and I are_ through! Done! _You hear me?_ We’re not friends anymore!”

Harry said, “Don’t let the Floo fire burn your arse when you step through, Weasley.”

Ron yelled some more: “ _Do you understand me? Even if you come_ crawling back _, don’t expect me to take you back_.”

Harry and Hermione exchanged a look. Then Harry calmly said to Ron, “Somehow I’ll cope.”

****

**Fifteen minutes later**

Ron and Ginny had packed up their own stuff, and Sirius had packed up Arthur’s stuff. Then two redhead children, and three redheads’ personal effects, were flooed to the Burrow.

Ron’s parting words to Harry were “You _deserve_ to be an orphan.”

****

After Ron and Ginny flooed away, this left behind in Grimmauld Place, two thirty-something pranksters, two redheaded twin pranksters, one couple of soulmates, one half-crazy and elderly house-elf, and one surly hippogriff.

Harry looked at Hermione and said, “Let’s invite Luna over to visit with us.” Hermione smiled, hearing this.

Then Harry looked at Sirius and said, “ _Erm_ , if this is okay with you.” Sirius smiled, and gestured towards the Floo Fireplace to say _Go for it_.

As Harry and Hermione were walking towards the Floo Fireplace, the twins laughed. Said Twin A: “Wait till we tell our _prat_ of a little brother—”

Said Twin B: “—that it took _less than a minute_ —

Said the twins in chorus: “—for him to be replaced in the Golden Trio.”

****

**Five minutes later, at the Burrow**

Three Weasleys—Molly, Ron and Ginny—were discussing this morning’s _Daily Prophet_ in the kitchen of the Weasley ancestral home.

“Muuum, _do something!_ ” Ginny whinged, as her finger poked photograph-Hermione in the eye. Photograph-Hermione was unbothered by Ginny’s attack, and continued to kiss Photograph-Harry. The 5-second loop on the magical photograph turned Harry’s and Hermione’s impulsive kiss into an eternal snog.

“Yeah, Mum, do something!” agreed Ron. “That git always gets _everything_ , and now he has _Hermione_ , when he knew _I_ fancied her!”

“Since when?” Ginny asked her brother. “You treat Hermione like rubbish.”

“It doesn’t matter,” Ron replied. “I’m a Pureblood, whilst Potter is only a halfblood. The mudblood should marry _me_.”

Molly said, “But she’s _already_ married—to Harry. Those two are soulmates—which means, magically married without ritual, vows or witnesses.”

For several seconds, the three gingers were scowling and silent.

Then Molly said, “Unless...”

Ginny asked, “ ‘Unless’ _what?_ ”

Molly was smiling—a little. “Albus is Harry’s magical guardian. Albus _maybe_ can work magic to annul Harry’s marriage. But if he can’t—the magic get strange when soulmates are involved—we’ll ask Albus to threaten to expel both Harry and Hermione unless Harry divorces her. _No way_ will Harry do nothing and let Hermione be expelled!”

Molly, Ron and Ginny all laughed evilly.

****

**A half-hour later  
** **At Hogwarts, in the headmaster’s office**

Molly had two brilliant ideas, Albus thought, about how to end Harry’s very problematic marriage to that Muggle-born. And Harry’s marriage to Miss Granger _had to be_ ended, so that Harry would be free to marry Ginevra Weasley for the Greater Good.

Albus thought, _Let’s try Molly’s simpler idea first_. Albus pointed the Elder Wand at the ceiling and said gravely, “As the magical guardian of Harry James Potter, I annul his magical marriage to Hermione Jean Granger. So mote it be.”

Albus expected to feel a brief heat in the handle of the Elder Wand. This did not happen. Albus expected the room to flash with light. This did not happen either.

There was, however, one result of Albus’s otherwise-failed annulment spell: Fawkes sang a discordant song as the eternal bird glared at Albus in disgust.

Albus shrugged. He thought, _This still leaves me one other way to try to annul Harry’s marriage, after Harry and Hermione return to Hogwarts_.

****

**Later in the morning  
** **Still in the headmaster’s office**

On Albus’s desk, buried under other parchmentwork, was a letter dated yesterday from Barnabas Cuffe, the editor-in-chief of the _Daily Prophet_. In the letter, Cuffe included Harry’s anti-Albus quotes from the press conference, and asked for a comment.

Albus wrote a short note—

“Harry has earned the right to his own opinions, but I am disappointed that he misunderstands both me and my purposes. But this is to be expected—the boy is only fifteen. When I was fifteen, I was immature too.”

****

**Meanwhile in Crawley**

The entire Grimmauld Place crowd, minus Kreacher and Buckbeak, was in Hermione’s house (with the Granger parents’ permission). Hermione was passing out cold cola drinks, which the twins never had drunk before, and Hermione was about to play a videotape cassette of _Jurassic Park_ —after she explained the differences between tyrannosauruses and dragons.

Luna sipped from her cup of cola, then said, “Harry? Hermione? By inviting me to spend time with you during these summer hols, you’ve changed our futures.”

Harry said, “Changed _good_ or changed _bad?_ ”

Luna replied, “I can’t tell you. Seer smoke is blocking me from Seeing much.”


	9. Hermione Gets THE Ring

**Still Sunday, 13th August  
** **An hour later, at the Granger house**

Hermione’s six magical houseguests all were clearly enjoying _Jurassic Park_.

They just had watched in amazement as a tyrannosaurus tore apart a loo and ate the lawyer who was “doing his business” on a toilet. This was when Luna asked, “May I borrow parchment, quill, and ink bottle?”

Hermione paused the film and asked, “Do you need those things specifically, or just things to write with?” Hermione walked out of the sitting room, then returned seconds later with a spiral notebook and a Biro pen. Luna looked at the Muggle pen with curiosity for a few seconds, then bent to writing.

Soon Luna tore the top sheet away from the notebook and handed the sheet of paper to Harry.

_YOU-KNOW-WHO’S FIVE PIECES OF SOUL, ATTACHED TO—_

_1) A big snake that never goes far from You-Know-Who. Find the Dark Lord and you’ll find the big snake._

_2) A ring that has a nasty curse attached to the ring. In a future, Professor Dumbledore is killed by the curse. I can’t See where this ring is._

_3) A locket, in Sirius Black’s house. Lord Black’s house-elf knows where the locket is._

_4) A ceremonial cup in the vault of Bellatrix Lestrange, in Gringotts._

_5) A tiara, in a room at Hogwarts that is filled with junk._

Harry looked at the note that Luna had handed him. He said, “Sirius, it looks like one of these evil things is in your house.” Harry passed the note to Sirius.

Remus, reading over Sirius’s shoulder, exclaimed, “You-Know-Who created _horcruxes?_ He created _several_ horcruxes? Each horcrux requires the committing of a cold-blooded murder!”

Harry asked his godfather, “Is it okay if we hunt down the locket at your house after the video is over? This is only the second movie I’ve been allowed to see.”

****

**Later, at Number 12, Grimmauld Place**

Five teenagers and two ex-Marauders were now in Sirius’s house.

“ _Kreacher!_ ” yelled Sirius. “Come here!”

 _Pop_. “Disgrace of a master calls Kreacher?” said the surly ancient elf.

Harry spoke up before Sirius could make Kreacher any angrier than he already was: “Kreacher, we’re looking for a locket that has evil magic attached to it. Do you know anything about this locket?”

Kreacher looked at Harry suspiciously. “Why does the dirty halfblood want to know about a locket?”

“To destroy the evil that taints it.”

“Then you wish to wear the locket yourself, mudblood? Or disgraceful master wishes to wear it?”

Sirius snapped, “Kreacher, if there is really a locket like how Luna described it, bring it here _now_.”

But rather than obey Sirius, Kreacher looked at Harry. Harry replied to Kreacher’s question, “Neither Sirius nor I want to wear the locket, we just want to get rid of its evil.”

Kreacher was gone for a second, then he elf- _pop_ ped back whilst holding a piece of gold jewellery. The fact that the piece’s only other colours were green and silver, and that the outside of the locket showed a snake, made it clear who had created the locket.

All the wizards and witches in the room gasped. The locket glowed blackly with evil.

One of the twins asked, “How did Slytherin’s locket wind up _here?_ ”

Kreacher answered, “Good Master Regulus stole it from the Dark Lord, then made me promise to destroy it. But unworthy Kreacher cannot, and Good Master Regulus is dead! Kreacher has failed his master!” The house-elf was crying now.

The other Weasley twin said, “Hold on, Regulus Black stole something from _Voldyshorts?_ This is the _ultimate prank!_ ” The twins high-fived each other, then high-fived a stunned Sirius.

Remus asked, “So how will we destroy this horcrux when Kreacher could not?”

“ _Fiendfyre_ ,” Sirius said, his eyes glinting.

Remus shook his head. “I’m not sure any of us could control the Fiendfyre if we cast it.”

Harry answered, “Kreacher, elf- _pop_ me into the Chamber of Secrets in Hogwarts, where there still is a basilisk fang laying on the floor. That poisonous fang killed Tom Riddle’s diary, so it’ll kill this locket. Should be easy.”

****

It was not an easy task at all. Kreacher, Harry and the locket elf- _pop_ ped away; an instant later—

 _Bam! Ouch_.

—Harry felt like he had smashed into a brick wall. Harry found himself and Kreacher outside the gates of Hogwarts—the Hogwarts wards had blocked Kreacher and Harry from entering any part of the castle.

They went back to Grimmauld Place, where the others healed Harry of his bruises and cracked bones.

Harry tried the same trick again, but this time using Dobby as the transportation-elf.

 _Bam! Ouch_. “Bugger!”

Again, the house-elf, the boy and the locket never made it into the castle grounds, but were stopped just outside the grounds. Again, Harry needed healing when he was elf- _pop_ ped back to Grimmauld Place, and again Harry returned there having achieved nothing.

Hermione sighed. “Fiendfyre is dangerous, and elf- _pop_ ping won’t work. The only other idea I come up with is Harry putting this locket in his school trunk, and destroying it after he returns to Hogwarts. But—”

Luna said, “It has an evil aura, and it causes evil thoughts for people who come near. It would be _dangerous_ to take the locket to Hogwarts.”

Harry said, “But at least at Hogwarts, I’ve two options. I can destroy the locket with the basilisk fang, or I can cut the locket in two if I can call the Sword—”

 _Clank_. Something heavy hit the Grimmauld Place sitting-room floor, at the same moment that Harry felt something hit the palm of his right hand.

“—of Gryffindor.”

The Sword of Gryffindor had appeared out of nowhere. The point of the blade was between Harry’s feet, and the hilt of the sword was resting against his hand.

“What the hell?” Sirius exclaimed.

Hermione shrugged. “The Sword of Gryffindor comes to true Gryffindors in time of great need, and Harry is the truest Gryffindor since Godric. I’m not surprised.”

****

Harry opened Slytherin’s Locket by hissing “ _§Open§_ ,” as he stood over the locket on the floor. Harry gripped the Sword in both hands and was pointing it down.

But even as the Locket was opening and the sword blade was moving, the Locket was speaking: “Poor, pathetic orphan, loved for your fame, or for who your father was, but _never_ loved for yourself—”

Harry stabbed the Locket. He heard a dying man’s scream, then a black wraith rose up from the Locket and dissipated.

In Harry’s hand, the Sword of Gryffindor soundlessly vanished.

Harry said to the slain wraith, “You’re a liar. So long as Hermione is alive, I’m loved for myself.”

Hermione rushed over. She gave Harry an extra-strength Hermy-hug and a long kiss on the lips.

After the couple broke the kiss, Harry grinned and looked at the other people present. “Destroying the locket-horcrux turned out much easier than I thought it would. Tomorrow let’s go to Gringotts, to track down one or two more horcruxes, _and also_ —”

Harry gave Hermione an adoring smile.

“—so Hermione can pick out a Lady Potter ring.”

Hermione gave Harry another Hermy-hug and kiss, as Luna smiled dreamily.

****

**The next morning: Monday, 14th August**

The _Daily Prophet_ printed a quote from Albus Dumbledore, who was responding to Harry’s words in his press conference. This was Dumbledore’s reply—

“Harry has earned the right to his own opinions, but I am disappointed that he misunderstands both me and my purposes. But this is to be expected—the boy is only fifteen. When I was fifteen, I was immature too.”

Below this quote of Dumbledore’s, the _Daily Prophet_ pointed out that Harry Potter had predicted such a reply in his press conference: “The headmaster of Hogwarts is a man who is unable to think ‘I might be mistaken.’ ”

Potter, according to the _Prophet_ , also had pointed out that when someone said something that Dumbledore did not want to hear, Dumbledore would attack the speaker’s words by making a grandfatherly attack on the speaker: “...But what about all those reports, from me and others, that the Dursleys were harming me? Dumbledore’s answer always was ‘Oh, the people saying these things are lying, or mistaken, or exaggerating, so I can disregard every one of those reports.’ ”

****

**Meanwhile, at the offices of the _Daily Prophet_**

Two Aurors asked to speak to Rita Skeeter, and were led to her desk. Once there, one of the Aurors cast _Animagus Revelio_ on Rita. If Rita were not an animagus, nothing would happen; but instead, she turned into a water beetle. The water beetle immediately was _Stupefy_ ed before it could escape.

The reporters in the newsroom begged the Aurors to let them all view water-beetle Rita before the Aurors turned her back into her human form. The Aurors allowed this. One of the reporters had the foresight to take a photograph of the water beetle that was sitting on the seat of Rita’s office chair.

When the reporters, and editor-in-chief Barnabas Cuffe, all had taken a good look at the water beetle, Rita was returned to her human form, handcuffed in magic-suppression handcuffs, then _Rennervate_ d.

Rita was formally arrested. Then the not-so-mild-mannered reporter for the _Daily Prophet_ was taken away, as the newsroom watched in silence.

(However, whilst the _Daily Prophet_ was where Rita’s arrest happened, this newspaper was not the first news outlet to _report_ on her arrest. An hour after Rita’s arrest, Wizarding Wireless Network News broke the story.)

****

**Meanwhile in Gringotts**

Sirius, Harry, Hermione and Luna were seated in front of the Black account manager, Bladebloody. Luna was looking around curiously.

Sirius said to Bladebloody, “Luna here is a true Seer, and she tells me that in Bellatrix Lestrange’s vault is a cup of some kind that has a horcrux attached to it—”

“A _horcrux?_ ” snarled Bladebloody.

“—and since I am Head of Head Black, is this enough to tell you to go into her vault and remove the evil cup?”

Bladebloody answered, “Yes and no. Right now, only she or her husband has the authority to direct us into her vault without violating a treaty. _But_ you as Head of House Black can annul her marriage; and once this is done, you as Head of House Black may send Gringotts into her vault.”

“Please fetch me her marriage contract,” Sirius told Bladebloody.

The contract was brought. Sirius read it for less than a minute before he lay the document down and grinned at everyone else in the room. “The contract forbids Bella from making a higher allegiance to anyone who is an enemy of House Black. Since Bella is a marked follower of Regulus’s killer, she has broken her marriage contract. She also is required to give birth to two sons, and she is childless.”

Hermione asked, “Does Narcissa Black Malfoy’s marriage contract require _her_ to bear two sons? As far as I know, Draco never has had a brother.”

Bladebloody said, “Lord Black, if you’re going to annul Narcissa Black Malfoy’s marriage, you had better act fast. Gringotts is certain that Lucius Malfoy shall be convicted at his upcoming trial, and is almost certain that he shall be sentenced to death. Should the Head of House Malfoy be executed for a capital crime, a centuries-old law of Muggle Britain shall dissolve the House of Malfoy. All of the House of Malfoy’s assets, including Narcissa’s dowry if you have not annulled the marriage, shall be claimed by the Ministry. Narcissa and Draco shall be surnamed No-Name unless you claim them, Lord Black; they shall own only their personal effects plus a thousand galleons apiece.”

Luna shrugged, whilst Sirius and Hermione looked as stunned as Harry felt. Harry said, “I never thought I’d say this, but—poor Draco.”

Then Sirius asked Bladebloody’s permission to draw his wand within Gringotts.

When this permission was granted, Sirius pointed his wand at the ceiling and said gravely, “I, Sirius Orion Black, the Head of House Black, do annul the marriage of Bellatrix Black Lestrange because she has violated her marriage contract. Her dowry of one hundred thousand galleons is to be returned to the Black family vault. So mote it be.”

****

**In a Dementor-infested part of Azkaban Prison**

Both Rodolphus Lestrange and Bellatrix Black, each of them alone in his or her prison cell, suddenly screamed.

When Rodolphus and Bellatrix had married, Magic had given each of them a small amount of additional magical power. Now this additional magical power was ripped away—painfully.

Prisoners were not allowed to wear magical jewellery; so Bellatrix never discovered that the wedding ring she had not worn since her imprisonment, no longer would have been on her hand anymore, had she been wearing the ring.

****

**Back in Bladebloody’s office in Gringotts**

Light flashed in the room, right after Sirius had spoken. A parchment appeared on Bladebloody’s desk. The goblin announced, “The marriage of the former Bellatrix Lestrange has been annulled. The vault of Rodolphus Lestrange has incurred a shortfall of 98 639 galleons at returning Bellatrix Black’s dowry to the Black vault.”

Sirius shrugged. Then he formally permitted Gringotts to search Bellatrix Black’s vault for a horcrux-tainted cup.

****

Minutes later, a young goblin entered Bladebloody’s office; he was carrying a hinged lead box. The young goblin opened the lid and showed the contents to Bladebloody and to Sirius. By then, three teenagers were crowded around Sirius, so they also saw what was inside the box.

Harry saw a golden goblet, with three badgers spaced at equal distances on the outside of the cup. Harry knew at a glance that this was not merely _a_ cup, but it was the Healing Cup of Helga Hufflepuff. Which now was a horcrux. Harry _felt_ the cup’s evilness.

Bladebloody showed a sharp-teeth grin. “Because customer Bellatrix Black has put a forbidden object in her vault, she now has forfeited her vault. Gringotts claims all coinage in her vault; everything else in her vault shall be transferred to the Black vault by noon today.”

“What about the Cup of Helga Hufflepuff?” Hermione asked. “Am I right that you can remove the Voldemort-soul from the Cup, just like you removed it from Harry’s scar?”

Hermione, with no pause, said to Sirius, “If the goblins can clean the Cup and not damage it, you should give the Cup back to Hogwarts.”

“How does she say so much in only one breath?” Sirius asked in wonder.

Harry shrugged. “I’m convinced Hermione has a third lung.”

Hermione huffed, as she slapped Harry’s arm.

Bladebloody said to Sirius, “We shall remove the horcrux without damage to the Cup and without cost to you, then we shall put the Cup in the Black vault.”

Luna, who had been silent throughout, spoke up: “Harry, ask Gringotts if they can use this horcrux to find other horcruxes made by You-Know-Who.”

Bladebloody looked confused at Luna, Sirius and Harry. “We can make a map showing the location of every brother-horcrux. It will cost you a thousand galleons per horcrux marked.”

“ _Pfft_ ,” said Sirius. “Try again. Four hundred galleons.”

“You insult the goblin nation,” Bladebloody replied, sounding angry.

“You insult my intelligence,” Sirius countered.

Eventually Sirius and Bladebloody agreed on a price of G650 apiece for the three remaining horcruxes. Then Harry spoke up—

“Take the money out of the _Potter_ family vault, and write the contract to be between Gringotts and _Lord Potter_.”

Sirius said, “ _No_ , pup, you can spend your own money after I’m gone. I’m your _godfather_ , and—”

Harry shook his head. “I’ll explain later, but it must be _my_ hand that signs the contract with Gringotts.”

Hermione said, “He’ll telling the truth, Sirius. It must be Harry, not you, who makes this deal.”

A minute later, a neatly printed parchment contract was drawn up between Gringotts and Harry. Now Harry only had to sign the contract.

This was when Harry learnt about a nasty magical item called a blood quill.

****

After all this, the group of four went down to the Potter family vault, so that Lady Hermione Potter could pick out a ring that told Wizarding Britain that she was indeed Lady Hermione Potter.

This was Harry’s first time inside the Potter family vault, and he found the place to be fascinating. He found a singed playpen just inside the doors of the vault.

Luna touched the playpen, then said sombrely, “You were standing in this playpen, Harry, when You-Know-Who tried to kill you.”

Harry also found old books, talking paintings and old-looking brooms in the Potter family vault.

On a table, he found four trays that had men’s and women’s rings in them. Some rings were plain whilst some rings were more and more fancy, but all the rings had a black ‘P’ on a square wet-clay-grey background.

One tray was tiny. It had only a woman’s Potter ring and a slot for a (missing) man’s ring.

Harry asked, “Sirius, what am I seeing?”

Sirius said, “The little tray holds Potter Head of House rings. Family magic won’t let Hermione put that woman’s ring on, but your daughter or granddaughter might one day wear it.”

Harry grinned at Hermione. “ _Your_ daughter as Potter Head of House would send Draco’s kids running for the hills.”

Harry, Hermione and Luna shared grins.

Sirius continued, “The third tray is for the Potter Betrotheds. This doesn’t apply to you, Hermione, since you’re already married.

“Harry, the fourth tray is for the Potter Heir or Potter Heiress. If James had been alive, he would have brought you here to pick out your Potter Heir ring when you were eleven years old. With James dead, the Potter account manager should have given you one of the Potter Heir rings on or after your eleventh birthday.”

“ _Pfft_ ,” said Harry. “Dumbledore and Molly made sure that I never heard about _any_ of this. I never knew I _had_ an account manager until the beginning of this month!”

Hermione said, “Sirius, you skipped the second tray. I’m guessing it’s for the Potter Consort?”

The second tray had five men’s rings, each with four inset stones of the same colour—red, blue, yellow, green and white. Whilst the second tray had only five men’s rings, this tray had many women’s rings, with a wide variety of inset stones, gold and silver metalwork and stylings.

Sirius answered Hermione, “Indeed. Go mad, choosing a ring. But Magic will bite you unless _Harry_ takes a ring from the tray and puts it on your finger.”

Hermione wound up choosing a Lady Potter ring in which the grey square was framed by gold, and in the corners and the middles of the gold frame, eight brown stones were imbedded. By a remarkable coincidence, those eight brown stones closely matched Hermione’s eyes.

Hermione pointed to, but did not touch, the ring she wanted; then Harry removed this ring from the tray and placed the ring on Hermione’s hand.

As Harry did this, he looked into Hermione’s eyes and said, “Hermione Jean, you’re my friend, my beloved, my wife and my perfect match, today and forevermore.”

Inside the Potter vault, light flashed.

Harry putting the ring on Hermione’s finger was an easy task because the ring was oversized—but as soon as Harry let go of the ring, it shrank to fit Hermione’s finger.

Hermione then proceeded to wave her left hand about, hug everyone else in the vault, kiss Harry in front of everyone else, and sniffle. Luna hugged Hermione, and Luna cried too. Harry certainly was glad that Hermione was wearing his Potter marriage ring, but he could not understand what all the excitement was about.

Harry said to Hermione, “My ring protects me from mind-magics, and it detects potions. I’ll bet your ring does the same things.” Saying this resulted in Harry getting another fierce Hermy-hug and another kiss on the lips.


	10. The Rest of August

**The next day: Tuesday, 15th August  
** **Again at Gringotts**

Sirius, Harry, Hermione and Luna were back at Gringotts—but this time in the office of Axefrenzy, the Potter account manager.

On Axefrenzy’s desk was a map of Great Britain; three horcruxes were marked on this map. One horcrux was at Hogwarts, according to the map; one was at the house of Marvolo Gaunt, and one horcrux was somewhere inside a 40-mile-diameter circle. (Axefrenzy explained that this horcrux was someplace that was unplottable due to a Fidelius Charm.)

Harry grinned at Luna. “You were right—three horcruxes are on the map, just like you said they would be.”

Hermione asked Harry, “Do you plan to go after them now?”

“Of course I do,” Harry replied. “Though I have no idea how I’ll find the horcrux that is under Fidelius.”

Luna poked the dot on the map that was labelled _Marvolo Gaunt house_. She said, “This horcrux is protected by nasty curses. Remember me telling you this?”

Sirius said, “Pup, _no way_ are you going after _that_ horcrux if You-Know-Who put curses on it. I just got you back; _no way_ will I let you die.”

Harry said, “But Sirius, _all_ the horcruxes need to be destroyed, or else Tommy will come back when he’s killed again.”

Hermione looked meaningfully at Axefrenzy, then said to Harry, “There’s nothing in the prophecy that says _you_ must destroy all the horcruxes, only that they be destroyed by your ‘hand.’ ”

The result was Harry negotiating another blood-quill-signed contract with Gringotts. This contract had the goblins tracking down and de-horcruxing whatever horcruxed object was at the Marvolo Gaunt house. (Luna said the object was a ring.) By the terms of the contract, the Marvolo Gaunt object, once it was found and its soul-piece was removed, would be put in the Potter family vault.

Once Harry and Axefrenzy had agreed on a price, Sirius said to Axefrenzy, “I’m surprised you aren’t charging Harry extra money because Luna says this job is dangerous.”

Axefrenzy gave Sirius a sharp-teeth grin. “Unlike timid wizards, _goblins_ consider danger to be a job perk.”

****

After Sirius, Harry, Hermione and Luna left Gringotts, they transfigured their robes into Muggle clothes, then spent the rest of that day, and the next few days, visiting all the tourist sites in Muggle London.

It did not surprise Harry at all that no matter what tourist site they were at, and no matter what they were looking at, Hermione knew almost as much as the tour guide.

The group spent the evenings at the Granger house, eating takeaway food (that Sirius or Harry paid for), talking with the dental Grangers and watching film videos. Sirius said that _The Wizard of Oz_ was ridiculous.

****

**Two days later  
** **Thursday, 17th August**

Narcissa Malfoy had requested a meeting with Cornelius Fudge, but had not told Fudge’s receptionist her reason. Mrs Malfoy had specifically asked that Arthur Weasley, who was the new Senior Undersecretary, _not_ be present at this meeting.

As _Lucius_ Malfoy and thirty-two other Death Eaters would be put on trial during tomorrow’s regular weekly meeting of the Wizengamot, Cornelius had a good guess about why Lucius’s wife wanted to meet with the Minister for Magic today.

Namely, the same reason why Braunwinn Nott had met with Cornelius Fudge an hour ago.

****

Cornelius was a Pureblood, and he had grown up surrounded by magic; but once in a while, even now, he marvelled at what magic could do. Harry Potter’s pensieve-memory of his battle with You-Know-Who was clear enough that Potter recalled voices that he did not recognise, and Potter recalled all the names that You-Know-Who had spoken. Four men who had been in that graveyard a month ago, also had been in Courtroom Ten last Saturday, as Wizengamot members—

And Amelia Bones’s Aurors had been ready for them. Even as the pensieve memory of the Boy Who Lived played in the courtroom, Aurors _Stupefy_ ed, then they arrested, these same four Death Eater Wizengamot members.

This time, by Cornelius’s order, when Death Eaters were arrested, it did not matter that the four were Purebloods and Wizengamot members—they were questioned with Veritaserum. Twenty-nine more names quickly followed the questioning of the four. The DMLE holding cells supposedly were bulging at the seams today.

****

Now in Cornelius’s office, Narcissa Malfoy sat in a chair in a graceful pose, with her purse in her lap. Cornelius could not read her expression.

Narcissa said, “Minister, my husband is not a Death Eater. Yes, he came to that graveyard, but he was Imperiused to do so—”

“Not so, Narcissa. Under Veritaserum, he admitted to taking the Dark Mark freely, after raping and killing a Muggle woman.”

“ _Veritaserum?_ He’s a Pureblood, that’s illegal!”

“Not when he’s potioned under _my_ authority as Minister.”

For once, Narcissa Malfoy’s face was not haughty; now she looked at Cornelius in shock—and also in fear.

She stammered, “I need my husband, and Draco needs his father. I’ll pay you money for Lucius to be acquitted tomorrow.”

Cornelius thought, _Narcissa usually is much more poised than this. But then, it’s never been_ Narcissa _who has tried to bribe me before_.

Aloud, Cornelius asked, “ _How much_ money for Lucius to be acquitted?”

She replied, “I have an unsigned bank draft for fifty thousand galleons”—a quarter-million pounds sterling—“in my purse.”

 _Which means_ , Cornelius thought, _she has a second unsigned bank draft in her purse, for an unspecified amount. I wonder how high she’s willing to go?_

Aloud, Cornelius said, “Show me. Put the bank draft on my desk.”

Narcissa did so. Sure enough, the bank draft was made out to “Cornelius Fudge” for G50 000, and lacked only a signature to be spendable.

“ _Now_ ,” Cornelius said. Narcissa looked confused.

Two red-robed Aurors Disillusioned themselves. “Narcissa Malfoy,” Senior Auror Macmillan said, “you are under arrest for attempting to bribe the Minister for Magic.”

Narcissa stared at Macmillan in shock.

After Mrs Malfoy had been put into magic-suppression handcuffs, Cornelius said, “Both Aurors, please give me your attention.” When both Aurors were watching him, Cornelius pulled the bank draft towards him and wrote “VOID” where Narcissa Malfoy’s signature was supposed to go.

Then Cornelius handed the bank draft to Senior Auror Macmillan, to be used as evidence. Macmillan put the parchment rectangle into an evidence bag, then the two Aurors led the shocked-faced wife of Lucius Malfoy out of Cornelius’s office.

Cornelius wondered if Narcissa Malfoy would be sharing a holding cell with Braunwinn Nott.

****

Cornelius was thoughtful as he watched the Aurors and the arrested socialite leave.

Before last Saturday, the day of the five trials, Cornelius had not _truly_ believed that the people he had rubbed elbows with, at velvet-robes social events, were evil criminals. Cornelius had _wanted_ to believe that Lucius Malfoy _et al_ had been Imperiused into becoming Death Eaters. (Still, Cornelius had acted sceptical of their innocence and had accepted their bribes during his years as Minister.)

But last Saturday, Cornelius had been shown that Lucius was not only an un-Imperiused Death Eater but also was an _enthusiastic_ Death Eater. Cornelius also had realised that his own assistant, Dolores, believed she could use her position to _commit murder_. These two truths had shocked Cornelius down to his core. Then had come the realisation: _Nobody will try to make the Ministry of Magic work right when everyone knows that the Minister for Magic is lazy and accepts bribes. I’m to blame for how bad things are, here_.

By the time that Cornelius had been facing the press, later that Saturday, he had had a second realisation: _The only hope the Ministry has of defeating You-Know-Who is for me to be the best Minister I can, and to set a sterling example_.

Being Minister for Magic during a civil war would not be easy for Cornelius—he was a stupid man, and he knew it. But since last Saturday, Cornelius Fudge was determined to be the leader he had been elected to be.

****

**The next morning  
** **Friday, 18th August, 9 a.m.  
** **Number 12, Grimmauld Place**

Lucius Malfoy’s trial was today, and Sirius was certain that by midnight tonight, there would no longer be a House Malfoy.

Lucius already was in violation of his marriage contract, as Hermione had pointed out, because Draco Malfoy had no brother. So whilst House Malfoy still had a dowry that could be reclaimed, Sirius annulled the marriage of Lucius and Narcissa, and Sirius declared that Draco No-Name would be part of House Black.

Two minutes later, an owl-letter from Gringotts told Sirius that Narcissa’s entire dowry had been transferred back into the Black family vault. Amazingly, there was no shortfall, unlike when Bellatrix’s dowry had been reclaimed from Rodolphus Lestrange.

Sirius directed Gringotts to put the hundred thousand galleons of Narcissa’s dowry into Narcissa’s personal vault. Narcissa herself faced trial today; she would need every knut she could put her hands on.

****

**Meanwhile at Courtroom Ten, Ministry of Magic**

As the Wizengamot began its session, former Wizengamot seat-holder Albus Dumbledore was required to sit in the spectators’ gallery if he wished to view today’s session at all. However, Albus fully expected to not be in the spectators’ gallery for long.

Chief Warlock Cyrus Greengrass announced, “We have a full day of trials today, thirty-eight in all—”

Dumbledore thought, _Thirty-eight lawbreakers need me to be the Chief Warlock, to influence the Wizengamot to award them only light punishment_.

Elphias Doge stood up. “Point of order, Chief Warlock. Before we get to regular business, there is the problem of the position you hold: Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot. Albus Dumbledore of House Dumbledore lost his position as Chief Warlock because he was said to be quite mad for claiming that Voldemort had returned. That slander has since been proven _false_. I move that we vote to restore Albus Dumbledore to the Dumbledore seat in the Wizengamot; and if this vote passes, that we vote to restore Dumbledore’s position as Chief Warlock.”

Albus smiled at his friend Doge. Doge, who still was facing Greengrass, could not see Albus’s smile, but others could.

Cyrus Greengrass asked, “Is there a second?”

Arthur Weasley seconded.

Albus smiled at Arthur. Nervous-looking Arthur stopped looking nervous and smiled back.

Greengrass said, “I shall hold a vote on restoring Albus Dumbledore to holding the Dumbledore seat. If this passes, I shall recuse myself and Regent Amelia Bones shall hold the vote on Dumbledore resuming his position as Chief Warlock. Before I hold the one assured vote, is there any discussion?”

Regent Augusta Longbottom lit her wand.

 _Bollocks_ , Albus thought. _This isn’t good_.

When recognised, Regent Longbottom stood and said, “When Harry Potter’s parents were killed by You-Know-Who, Dumbledore was Chief Warlock then. He used his authority to seal the wills of James Potter and Lily Potter, so that no one else could read what those wills truly said. Chief Warlock Dumbledore then again _abused_ his office to appoint himself Harry Potter’s guardian, which gave him access to Potter’s trust vault. Harry Potter alleges that Dumbledore has stolen from Potter’s vault. Dumbledore should be arrested for abuse of office and for theft, thrown into a chains-chair and Veritaserum’d, instead of being given a vote in this body.”

As Regent Longbottom sat down, Arthur Weasley lit his wand.

When recognised, he stood and said, “Albus Dumbledore is a frequent dinner guest at our house. Many times he’s said, ‘Everything I have done, I have done for the Greater Good.’ I trust his wisdom to vote on laws, and I trust his wisdom to lead this body.”

Albus smiled at Arthur again. Arthur looked relieved that Albus had smiled at him.

Chief Warlock Greengrass said, “We shall vote now on restoring Albus Dumbledore to holding the House Dumbledore seat. Seat-holders, cast your ‘Vote’ spell at the green square for ‘Yes’ and at the red square for ‘No.’ Vote now.”

Thirty seconds later, Greengrass announced that the vote fell twelve votes short of approval. Albus Dumbledore, who still was sitting in the spectators’ gallery, would not become a seat-holder again this day.

Albus put on a face of happy calmness, but in his mind, he was screaming with anger. _Don’t these pillocks understand that they are thwarting the Greater Good?_

****

Thirty-three Death Eaters were put on trial on 18th August, for multiple murders and for use of the Cruciatus Curse. Four wives of Death Eaters were put on trial for attempting to bribe the Minister for Magic to release their arrested husbands. Rita Skeeter was put on trial for being an unregistered animagus.

The Death Eater defendants were chains-chaired six at a time, and were given Veritaserum six at a time. Every Death Eater defendant admitted to taking the Dark Mark willingly; many admitted to taking the Mark _eagerly_. Every Death Eater defendant admitted to multiple counts of rape, torture (the Cruciatus curse) and murder. Every Death Eater defendant had killed a Muggle as part of his initiation; many defendants had killed other Muggles after their initiations. Many of the Death Eater defendants had killed Muggle-borns and “blood-traitors,” and some Death Eater defendants had killed random Diagon Alley or Hogsmeade magical shoppers during acts of terror.

When the first group of six Death Eater defendants had been voted Guilty and their punishments were being debated, Albus stood up in the spectators’ gallery and asked to be allowed to speak.

Chief Warlock Greengrass said, “ _Spectator_ Dumbledore, have you been _directly_ harmed by the crimes of these six? Have you been raped or tortured by any of them, or have any of these six Death Eaters killed any members of your immediate family?”

“No, but—”

“Then you have no standing to speak before us. Sit down, Spectator Dumbledore.”

Minister of Magic Cornelius Fudge asked to be recognised. When Greengrass recognised him, Fudge said, “I suggest, as punishment of each convicted Death Eater, he be given the Kiss if he has murdered ten Muggles, three Muggle-borns, two halfbloods or one Pureblood; otherwise, the convicted Death Eater be given life in Azkaban.”

Fudge did not draw anyone’s attention to the testimony of Lucius Malfoy, who admitted to killing “more than sixty Muggles,” besides admitting murders and tortures of Muggle-borns, halfbloods and “blood-traitors.” By Fudge’s guideline, Lucius Malfoy was sure to be executed.

Even with the blatant bias in such a guideline—murdering one Pureblood would result in a Death Eater being Kissed, but murdering nine Muggles would not—the sentencing results were the same as if the guideline had been bloodline-blind. Thirty-three Death Eaters were tried, thirty-three Death Eaters were convicted, and thirty-three Death Eaters were Kissed.

****

Thirty-three Death Eaters were shown to be a murderous lot, and they paid the price—instead of being given a chance to redeem themselves. Albus sighed.

****

The bad news for Narcissa Black (formerly Narcissa Malfoy), Braunwinn Nott and the other two wives who were convicted of bribery was that they each were sentenced to the minimum-security wing at Azkaban till 30th June of next year, and they each were fined twice their offered bribe (with the fine-money earmarked for the DMLE). The only good news for the four wives was that they were in the pretrial pen, not in the courtroom, when their husbands were Kissed.

As for the day’s last defendant, Rita Skeeter, once it was revealed in court that her animagus form was a water beetle, which was a form that could easily move unnoticed and unseen, Rita was nailed to the wall. She was sentenced to five years in the medium-security wing of Azkaban and was fined ten thousand galleons.

****

The thirty-eight trials took all day. The Wizengamot seat-holders (of which, Albus was _not_ one) did not leave Courtroom Ten till 7:38 that evening.

 _Not once_ that day did _any_ seat-holder ask wise Albus Dumbledore to share his wisdom. _The nerve!_ thought Albus.

****

**That same day, at the Rookery**

Luna wore a dreamy smile as she introduced Harry and Hermione to her father, Xenophilius Lovegood.

Harry’s impression of the man was that he was a nice person but strange, like Arthur Weasley; but Xenophilius had Dumbledore’s fashion sense.

Xenophilius talked about nargles and wrackspurts as though they were real, just like Luna did. He also could talk about Wizengamot politics in depth, without sounding like an echo of either Albus Dumbledore or Lucius Malfoy. Harry learnt much that he would need to know in the future, from talking with Luna’s father.

****

Whilst Harry was at the Rookery, he received a letter by Gringotts owl. At the Marvolo Gaunt house, a horcrux-tainted object, a ring, had been found. “Five out of five curses were neutralised” before the ring was removed from the house and its horcrux was destroyed. The ring then was placed in the Potter family vault, as per contract, and the agreed-upon coinage then was removed from the Potter vault.

Whilst reading the letter, Harry thought, _Only two horcruxes are left. And one of the two will be easy to find_.

****

**The next morning  
** **Saturday, 19th August, 10 a.m.  
** **Gringotts Bank**

Harry, Sirius, Remus Lupin, Amelia Bones and Augusta Longbottom all gathered in a room with stone walls. They were there to hear two wills, of James Potter and of Lily Potter, both be officially read. This was nearly fourteen years after Harry’s parents had died.

As Harry had already read both wills _un_ officially, he expected there to be no surprises with this part of the event.

The only excitement during the meeting was before the wills-reading officially started, when Dumbledore walked in, declaring he was there supposedly to “advise” Harry “what the wills mean.”

To which Harry replied sarcastically, “Considering that both wills say that no _bloody_ way am I ever to be given over to Petunia Dursley, either you’re too _thick_ to figure out what these wills mean, or you’re a goddamned _liar_. I _already_ know you’re a _thief_.”

Then Harry looked at Axefrenzy and said, “Since I know for a fact that Dumbledore is not mentioned in either will except as a _witness_ , please throw the blighter out.”

Which goblin guards promptly did.

The two wills then were officially read. When Axefrenzy read out the part of James Potter’s will that named Harry to become the Potter Heir at age eleven, Harry let his invisible _Lord_ Potter ring turn visible, so that Sirius, Remus and the other people in the room could see it. This was how Harry revealed the Potter Lordship that he already had secretly claimed.

****

**Sunday through Wednesday, 20-23 August  
** **In Sweden**

Two adult wizards (Sirius and Xenophilius), and three Hogwarts students (Harry, Hermione and Luna) spent four days hiking about Sweden, seeking out the elusive (nonexistent?) Crumple-Horned Snorkack.

Harry had never been out of Britain before. It amazed him that suddenly he could not understand any overheard conversations, nor could he read signs anymore (except for all-picture signs).

Xenophilius had skillfully drawn a picture of a strange-looking animal; so in theory, Harry, Hermione and Sirius knew what to look for during their hunt.

Sweden has many lakes, and the group walked round many lakeshores. The British magicals also walked a mile outside of some fishing town that had strange letters in its name. Another time, the five magicals walked through a quiet forest.

Then the group decided that Crumple-Horned Snorkacks (if they existed at all) most likely were located in Sweden in places where Swedes were _not_ located. The five spent a day and a half in Abisko National Park in northern Sweden, sleeping in conjured tents at night. The tents were disillusioned and under Notice-Me-Not Charms, since (according to the Lovegoods), camping in the national park was highly illegal except at designated campsites. When Harry and Hermione stepped out of their tents, they discovered that even in August, the night air in northern Sweden was cold.

During the group’s time in Sweden, Luna was a changed person. She was not only hunting for Crumple-Horned Snorkacks with her father, she also was seeking the creatures in the company of her friends Harry and Hermione. Every waking moment that Luna was in Sweden, she was smiling as though Merlin and the Hogwarts Founders all had blasted her with Cheering Charms.

One time, whilst the group was walking through a forest, Luna moved away from her father to walk between Harry and Hermione. Luna took a hand of each of the Potter spouses and smiled dreamily at each of them in turn. Luna said to them, “It’s good to have friends. Friends drive the wrackspurts away without even trying.”

At night (except for the night they spent camping in tents), the five magical Brits got to see a different side of Sweden than in daytime. They experienced an authentic Swedish smörgåsbord; Harry, Hermione and Sirius ate foods they had never eaten before.

During the group’s visit to Sweden, they ate in restaurants seven times. Four out of seven times, they were served by waitresses, not waiters; two out of four times, the waitresses were blond. Sirius flirted outrageously with both blondes—even the married one.

The group never found a Crumple-Horned Snorkack. None of the group seemed bothered by this.

****

**A week later  
** **Wednesday, 30th August**  
**Two days before the start of the school term  
** **Hogwarts SOW &W**

_Pop_.

Minerva was in her office, working frantically to meet the 1st September deadline, when Wrinkly, the Hogwarts head house-elf, appeared by Minerva’s desk.

Wrinkly said, “Headmaster Bumblebee ask you to come to his office.”

Minerva asked, “Do you know what about? I’m _quite_ busy now.”

Wrinkly answered, “Headmaster Bumblebee not tell Wrinkly. Professor Kitty come now.” He held out a hand.

Resentful Minerva took the house-elf’s hand. _Pop_. The world about her instantly changed from her office to the headmaster’s office.

****

“Ah, Minerva, thank you for coming,” Dumbledore said cheerfully. “May I offer you tea? Or a sherbet lemon?”

“I don’t have time for niceties, Albus. Why have you interrupted my work?”

On one part of Dumbledore’s huge desk was a stack of four parchments. Dumbledore removed the parchment that was second from the top and held up this parchment. “I called you here to discuss your list of prefects. I have an objection.”

Minerva said, “Why? Mr Potter and Miss Granger are the easiest choices for fifth-year prefect that I’ve ever made. As for Miss Granger, please note that all the detentions she’s served were assigned by Severus. I didn’t count Severus’s detentions in making my decision.”

“Minerva my dear, I do not object to you naming Miss Granger as a prefect. My objection is to you naming _Harry_.”

Minerva was gobsmacked and puzzled now. “Why? Aren’t prefects supposed to set a good example to the other students? Aren’t prefects supposed to be students that we professors can rely on? Aren’t prefects supposed to show _leadership?_ Mr Potter has _saved the school_ , Albus, _many_ times. This summer he also saved his _worthless_ Muggle cousin. So I trust Mr Potter to patrol the assigned corridors at the assigned times, and to not abuse the giving and taking of House points.”

“Minerva, Harry now has _responsibilities_ that I am not free to speak about. Prefect duties would be a _distraction_ from those responsibilities.”

“ _What_ responsibilities? It’s his OWL year, he’ll have Quidditch practice throughout the year, and let’s not forget all the _detentions_ that Severus will assign Mr Potter just for being James’ son. What else can Mr Potter possibly be doing?”

“Alas, Minerva, I am not free to share such information with you. But accept that Harry does not have the time to serve as a prefect.”

“And _if_ I accept your statement as fact, then whom instead will I give the badge to? Mr Longbottom has the marks necessary, but he lacks self-confidence. I can’t picture him _asserting_ himself in a conflict with a pushy, rule-breaking student. As for the other Gryffindor fifth-year boys, none of them are suitable.”

“Not true. Mr _Weasley_ should have the badge.”

“ _No_. Absolutely not. He has the worst table manners in the entire school, he is the laziest student in the entire school, and he has an implacable hatred of all Slytherins....”

An unpleasant thought hit Minerva’s brain then; she blurted, “ _Merlin_ , I hope I’m wrong.”

Without warning, Minerva drew her wand and pointed it at the top of Dumbledore’s desk. “ _Accio_ Slytherin prefect list.”

As Minerva took hold of the parchment that had Severus’s handwriting on it, Albus said, “Tut-tut, Minerva. You could have simply _asked_.”

“And you would’ve told me whom Severus picked, _if_ I’d asked?” Minerva said. Her expression said _I don’t believe you for a second_.

Looking at Severus’s list, Minerva was angry now. “The Slytherin fifth-year prefects are _Mr Malfoy_ and _Miss Parkinson?_ Blood-snobs, the children of Death Eaters, they’re both _bullies_ —and you’re _fine_ with all this? When Mr Zabini and Miss Greengrass are a _hundred times_ more deserving?”

“Minerva, I think—”

Minerva, who _never_ interrupted the headmaster, interrupted now: “Why are we here at Hogwarts? Are we here to teach Transfiguration, Charms, Herbology and Potions; or are we here to teach ‘Purebloods are more deserving’? Because if you elevate Malfoy, Parkinson and Weasley to be prefects, this is exactly the message you’re sending. _No_ , Albus. No, _no!_ Mr _Potter_ , not Mr _Weasley_ , shall be the Gryffindor fifth-year boy prefect, and _this is final_.”

“It is _not_ final, Minerva. I overrule you. Harry will not be a prefect in _any_ year, not only fifth year. As for Mr Malfoy and Miss Parkinson, I have complete confidence that if Severus says those two are the most deserving for badges, that this is true.”

“And what do I tell Mr Potter when he asks me why he was passed over? Because he _will_ ask, you can be sure.”

“I have confidence, Minerva, that you can string a shiny necklace of words that will soothe his feelings.”

“You want me to lie to him, then,” Minerva said. “You’re _ordering_ me to lie to Mr Potter. On top of _everything else_ that you and I have done to James’ and Lily’s son.”

Abruptly Minerva tore away the bottom (blank) part of Severus’s parchment. Contemptuously she tossed Severus’s list of the six Slytherin prefects back onto Albus’s desk. Then she pulled a self-inking quill from her pocket and bent down to write on the scrap of blank parchment.

_30th August 1995_

_I resign, effective immediately._

_Minerva McGonagall_

Minerva slapped the scrap of parchment down in front of Albus, as she pocketed her quill. “Since Samhain of 1981, every time I’ve gone against my conscience, the result was Mr Potter being harmed in some way. _No more_. Find _someone else_ to abuse Mr Potter ‘for the Greater Good.’ ”

Albus looked at Minerva with wide eyes. _He actually looks panicked_ , she thought. He said, in a voice that for once did not ooze with condescension, “Surely I can persuade you to _undo_ your resignation.”


	11. 1st September, Part 1

**Two days later**  
**Friday, 1st September 1995  
** **King’s Cross Station**

Hermione had crossed over to Platform 9¾ from Platform 9, and was pulling her trunk towards the Hogwarts Express. This was when she spotted Parvati and Padma Patil talking to two olive-skinned adults.

As Hermione approached the girl twins, she saw the sisters and their mother each put her hands together, as though each witch were praying, and bow. Then the parents walked away.

The twins from India no longer looked identical, and not only because now they were wearing different-coloured school robes. Padma was not wearing eye makeup, whereas Parvati was; and Parvati’s lipstick was a brighter red than was Padma’s.

Also, Padma was wearing a blue ‘P’-badge, whereas Parvati was not. There was a reason why Parvati was lacking a prefect badge—Hermione grinned with pride.

Hermione intended to compliment Padma on her prefect badge. But before Hermione could speak, Parvati shrieked, “You have Harry’s ring! Merlin, you truly are _married!_ Show us the ring, show us!”

When Hermione presented the Lady Potter ring on her left hand, grinning Padma _squealed_ , and grinning Hermione’s heart raced. Hermione felt proud of being married, and she felt happy that now she was fully accepted into the universal sisterhood. This was how Hermione discovered that she was more of a girly-girl than she had always thought she was.

After the Patil twins had _ooh_ ’d and _ah_ ’d over the Lady Potter ring, Hermione said to Padma, “Congratulations on being selected as a prefect. You deserve it.”

“Are you a prefect too?” Parvati asked. Hermione was wearing her Muggle clothes, not robes, so it was not obvious whether Hermione was a prefect.

“Yes I am,” Hermione said, “and I feel so _honoured_. Do you know who the other fifth-year prefects are?”

Padma said, “Anthony Goldstein is the Ravenclaw boy prefect. Ernie Macmillan”—from Hufflepuff—“is a prefect too. Merlin, now he’ll be even _worse!_ ”

“Worse?” Hermione repeated. “What do you mean? I don’t know him well.”

“When Ernie talks,” Padma replied, “he always acts like he’s giving a speech. He’s _pompous_.”

Parvati said, “Remember Percy Weasley? Ernie is like _him_.”

Hermione rolled her eyes. She said to Padma, “Then I pity Hufflepuff firsties. Parvati will tell you that when _we_ were firsties, Perfect Prefect Percy was a pompous, pontificating _prat_.”

Parvati’s eyes were shining with eagerness. “Speaking of male Gryffindor prefects, do you know who your partner is?”

“Yes.”

Seconds of silence passed, then Parvati said, “Well?”

Hermione gave Parvati a mischievous smile. “ ‘Well?’ _what?_ You asked me a yes-or-no question; I answered it.”

Padma laughed at her twin. “She logic-bombed you!” Then Padma asked Hermione, “Why aren’t you in Ravenclaw?”

Hermione shrugged. “The Sorting Hat decided I was braver than I was smart.”

Parvati whinged, “Hermione, I want to know who your prefect partner is.”

Both Hermione and Padma ignored Parvati’s words. Instead, Padma said, “If you’re braver than you’re smart, this would make you _mega_ -brave. _Harry Potter_ brave. _Are_ you brave like that?”

“Not really. When I was in the loo and the _twelve-foot mountain troll_ attacked, Harry killed the troll, and Ron fought the troll a bit. But me, I hid and screamed! So I’m not brave in the way that Harry is brave.”

Before either Patil could say anything, Hermione’s index finger shot up in the air. “ _But_ last year, remember all that? When Harry’s name came out of the Goblet and he said that he hadn’t put his name in, and nobody believed him? His own ‘best mate’ called Harry a liar and a cheater, everyone believed Ron, nobody believed Harry, and the _entire school_ ”—Hermione glared at each Patil twin—“insulted Harry and shunned him. Only Neville, the twins—the _other_ twins—Luna Lovegood of Ravenclaw and I stood with Harry and spoke up for him. Which takes a special kind of bravery—a bravery I’m glad I have.”

“And one I _don’t_ have,” Parvati said quietly. “I _thought_ Harry was telling the truth, but I never spoke up and said so.”

Hermione was on a roll. “I don’t know if you heard this, or if you remember, but after the Third Task, it was revealed that ‘Mad-Eye’ Moody was actually a Polyjuiced Death Eater, and it was _he_ who put Harry’s name in the Goblet. So Harry was proven right all along. But do you want to know how many kids apologised to Harry after the Third Task? _Five_.”

All three girls knew that neither Patil twin had been one of the five.

Parvati asked, “Did Ron apologise? I mean, he’d almost have to, right?”

Hermione said stiffly, “Ron has never apologised for his lies and slanders. It’s one of the reasons why we no longer are friends with him.”

Hermione did not need to be a Legilimens to know what Parvati was thinking now: _This is gossip gold!_ Meanwhile, Padma, who was looking sad, asked, “So the Golden Trio is no more?”

“The _original_ Golden Trio is no more. Now it’s Harry and I, and also Luna Lovegood.”

Parvati stared, and Padma choked. “You’re friends with _Loony?_ ” the Patil twins said in chorus.

“Stop that!” Hermione growled. “Luna is a _Seer_ , and quite a good one. She can see auras—so she knows when you are sleeping, she knows when you’re awake, and she knows if you’re being bad or good. Also, she gets flashes of the future sometimes. If not for her, Harry could’ve been in serious legal trouble this summer; he could’ve been _expelled_ and his wand snapped. But Luna’s timely warning saved Harry.”

“But she’s so _weird_ ,” Padma said.

“And because of how she acts, last year she was bullied in Ravenclaw.” Hermione looked pointedly at Padma and added, “I hope Luna won’t have that problem _this_ year.”

Reluctantly Padma promised, “If I see Luna be bullied, I’ll put a stop to it.”

Parvati drew her wand, then cast _Tempus_ with it. “ _Merlin_ , Pad, we need to be going! Later, Hermione.”

Hermione growled, “ _Before_ you go...”

“Yes?” Padma said warily.

“It annoys me for Harry’s sake that last year the entire school _wrongfully_ dumped on Harry, and almost nobody has apologised to him for this. I’d like it if each of you would apologise to Harry before the train arrives in Hogsmeade.”

Parvati stood straight. “I’ll do it. I wronged Harry, I admit it and I’m going to apologise to him today.” Then Parvati grinned mischievously. “I won’t even mention the Yule Ball—talk about _apologies_ being due!”

Padma said, “I also shall apologise to Harry.”

As the Patil girls hurried away, Hermione heard Parvati say to Padma, “Hermione never _did_ say who the Gryffindor fifth-year boy prefect was, did she?”

****

**One minute after the train’s departure**

As soon as the train started to move, Hermione put on her _brand new_ and _quite special_ robes. Then she stepped out into the corridor. With a determined step, she headed forwards to the Head Boy/Head Girl’s compartment, which was where the prefects’ meeting was.

By the time the meeting started, in the compartment were Julius Travers the Head Boy, Sylvia Abbott the Head Girl, and twenty-three other prefects besides Hermione. Twenty-six teenagers were in the compartment, yet Hermione felt like all eyes were on her. Perhaps because of the way she was dressed, and because of her Lady Potter ring?

When the prefects’ meeting ended, Hermione grabbed Harry’s hand and dragged him over to where Daphne and Blaise were standing. “Congratulations, you two,” Hermione said, “on being chosen as prefects.”

“Lord Potter. Lady Potter,” the two Slytherins said. Blaise bowed, whilst Daphne curtseyed.

Then Blaise said, “Be honest. How surprised are you to see that it’s _us?_ And not _certain other_ Slytherins of our year?”

Harry said, “I admit it, we were worried that Snape would pick Malfoy and Parkinson. But we aren’t complaining—you two definitely deserve to be prefects.”

Blaise and Daphne exchanged a look. Daphne said, “We, _erm_ , had our own worry: that instead of you, Potter, it would be _Weasley_ sharing a prefect badge with Gra—with Lady Potter. Everyone knows what _arse-kissers_ the Weasleys are when they’re near Bumblebee.”

Blaise said, “Changing the subject—you both realise, I trust, that Professor Snape will _go spare_ when he sees how you two are dressed. You’ll make history as the first _prefects_ ever assigned detention during the Welcoming Feast.”

Harry and Hermione each were wearing black acromantula-silk robes. Each Potter wore the Potter crest, in white, on the left breast of his/her robes; the red-and-yellow Gryffindor crest on the right side of the robes; and a prefect-‘P’ red badge in the middle. Neither Potter’s robes showed any other red colour. Harry’s Potter crest was inside a wide white circle; Hermione’s Potter crest was inside a wide yellow circle.

Now Hermione pulled a book from the pocket of her robes, and held it out for Blaise and Daphne to see. “According to the _Hogwarts Student Handbook_ , 1938 edition, how we’re both dressed is legal, because Harry is Head of House Potter and I’m his wife.”

Daphne almost snatched the book out of Hermione’s hand, but stopped herself. “Where did you get this? I’ve never seen any student handbook in all the time I’ve been here.”

Harry said, “This book is a team effort. Our friend Luna Lovegood alerted us that this book was in a room somewhere in the castle where old junk is stored. I sent a house-elf friend of mine to fetch the book for Hermione. Hermione probably has the book memorised now”—Hermione grinned—“and I’ve read it once. Did you know that if the headmaster or deputy headmaster ever summons you for a meeting, you’re entitled to insist that your Head of House go with you?”

Hermione said, “Hold on,” and cast the _Geminio_ spell three times. Blaise, Daphne and Harry now each had his or her own (temporary) copy of the Handbook.

****

Julius and Sylvia, the Head Boy and Head Girl, did not assign patrols to Harry and Hermione till later in the train trip. But right after the prefects’ meeting ended, Hermione wanted to walk along the entire train and to introduce herself to the first-years—in particular, to the Muggle-born first-years. (“I guarantee you, Harry, the Muggle-born firsties are scared to death now, but are trying not to show it.”) Harry was willing to help Hermione with this worthy project—especially when he saw how _relieved_ were the Muggle-born eleven-year-olds when they met a kindred spirit.

The result was that Harry and Hermione did not return to their own compartment till an hour and a half into the trainride. In their compartment, Harry and Hermione found Luna and Neville, which was good. They did not find Ron there, which was even better. But in the compartment was Ginny; this was not good at all.

“ _Hello_ , Harry,” Ginny said, in a _you get three rounds for a knut_ version of a sexy voice.

“ _Out!_ ” said Hermione, pointing to the door.

“ _Please_ , Harry, can I stay?” said Ginny, her eyes full of promise. “I’d be _quite_ grateful.” Ginny did not look at Hermione at all.

Harry said, “I’m _married_ , Ginevra.”

Ginny purred, “I can share, if I have to. But we _all_ know I’m prettier, _hm?_ ”

Harry thought, _Be nice to people and they think you’re a milquetoast_. Aloud, Harry said, “What you _are_ , is a spoiled child who is disrespecting my wife. _Out_ , before I”—Harry drew his wand—“ _throw_ you out.”

Ginny glared at both Harry and Hermione, but she left.

****

**Five minutes later**

Harry was having a pleasant conversation with Hermione, Luna and Neville when the compartment door opened. Harry thought at first it might be Ginny returning, on Ron strolling in as if he were welcome—but no, standing in the doorway was the ferret. Crabbe and Goyle stood behind him.

“So, Scarhead,” said Draco, “I hear you married the mudblood. Was this the best you could do? Or was it a ‘wandpoint wedding’?”

Harry raised a hand, to tell everyone else in the compartment to say nothing. Then Harry looked at Draco and said, “Let me ask you a question, Draco: What’s your name?”

“ _What?_ ” said Neville.

“You know perfectly well,” Draco snarled, “what my name is, Potter.”

But Draco’s condescension was all an act, Harry could tell—Draco was nervous, but trying to cover it up.

“Humour me,” Harry said. “Tell me your name.”

Draco stepped into the compartment then, and shut the door—leaving him inside and his bodyguards outside. “I’m _Draco_. There, you satisfied?”

Draco turned to open the door.

“Draco _what?_ ” Harry pressed. “Include your last name.”

Draco turned round to face Harry again. He tried to send Harry a Fiendfyre glare. “I’m Draco Mal—,” _cough_ , “Mal—,” _cough_ , “Mmm—,” _cough_ , “Draco Black.”

Neville asked, “Why can’t he say ‘Malfoy’ anymore?”

Luna answered, “Because when Lucius Malfoy, the Head of House, was executed for murder, the House of Malfoy _went away_ , bye-bye.” She made an airy goodbye-wave of her hand. “The two people still alive who had the Malfoy name are _dishonoured_ —they can’t say the name, or write it.”

Harry said, “Also, Sirius told me that before Lord Lucius Malfoy got soul-sucked, Sirius as Lord Black annulled the marriage of Lucius and Narcissa, and claimed Narcissa’s son Draco as part of House Black. So Draco Black is Draco’s name now.”

Draco scowled, but did not argue with what Luna said or what Harry said.

Harry looked at the blond boy. “Draco, I’ve two things to tell you. The good news is, four years ago on this train, I refused to shake your hand when you offered it, and I unknowingly insulted you. It’s too late to fix things, but now I apologise for that unintended insult.”

So saying, Harry shook Draco’s hand.

“I accept your apology,” Draco said grudgingly.

Harry said, “The bad news is, I’m now Head of House Potter, as you might have noticed.” Harry plucked his Lord Potter black robes. “Draco, if you insult me or insult my wife, _I now may legally challenge you to a duel to the death and kill you_. Do you want carved on your headstone, ‘He called Lady Potter a mudblood’? Think about it.”

“You only _think_ you could kill me in a duel, Potter.”

Luna said airily, “In only a few futures do you kill Harry—by sneak attacks. A dueling platform doesn’t allow sneak attacks, unless you jump the count. In almost all futures, once you both stand on the dueling platform, Harry kills you in less than a minute.”

Draco stared at Luna, looking horrified. Neville also stared. Luna wore a dreamy smile, and Hermione looked like she was biting her tongue.

Harry continued, “Here’s more bad news. Your Head of House isn’t Lucius Malfoy anymore, he’s Sirius Black. You can’t hope to be Lord Black one day, because Sirius already has declared _me_ to be Heir Black—and this is assuming that Sirius never marries Amelia Bones and gets her pregnant. The best you can hope for now is to live the rest of your life as Draco Black.”

“Yeah, I guess so,” said Draco.

“Except Sirius is a hothead, and he doesn’t like _at all_ how you’ve treated Hermione and me. Keep this shit up and, even if I don’t kill you, you could wind up with Sirius disowning you. Then you wouldn’t be able to say ‘Draco Black’ either.”

Draco scowled.

Harry asked, “Hermione, you have anything to add?”

Hermione said, “Draco, on top of everything else, Harry and I are prefects but you aren’t. So don’t act like a foul, loathsome, evil little cockroach near us, and your life will be brilliant.”

“ _Brilliant_ , right,” Draco said. With shoulders sagging, he turned round, opened the compartment door and left.

****

A few minutes after Draco & Co. left the compartment, the Patil twins knocked on the door, then entered the compartment when they were invited in.

The Indian twins apologised to Harry for their “simply horrid behaviour” last year, after the Goblet of Fire had spit out Harry’s name. Hearing both girls’ sincere apologies, Harry was surprised and pleased.

****

**Later in the trainride**

During parts of the trainride, Prefect Harry or Prefect Hermione patrolled the train. During other parts of the trainride, Harry’s and Hermione’s compartment received drop-in visitors. But during a different part of the trainride, when Harry, Hermione and Luna were alone in their compartment—

Luna said to the other two, “Whilst you two were gone, I had a vision.”

“Another one?” said Hermione.

“It was mostly hidden by Seer smoke, so it’s incomplete. Anyway, tomorrow is a juncture.”

“What kind of juncture?” Harry asked.

“If we do nothing special tomorrow, than Harry, you fight You-Know-Who in—I’m not sure, 1996 or 1997. In some of the futures you win, and in some of the futures he wins.”

“Bugger,” Harry said. Hermione slapped his arm.

Luna continued, “But tomorrow, I saw it where the three of us go to Moaning Myrtle’s lavatory, then time passes, and somehow we’re in a library where all the books have green covers. Hermione and I can’t read the books but you can.”

Harry thought, _A library that somehow is connected to the Chamber of Secrets, it sounds like. It sounds like all the books are written in Parseltext_.

Luna said, “Then time passes, and somehow you’re holding a particular green book. You use what the green book tells you, then we three fight You-Know-Who much sooner than 1997, and maybe even sooner than 1996.”

Hermione asked, “And when we fight Voldemort, what happens in your vision?”

Luna replied, “In sixty-six out of sixty-seven futures, Harry Potter, you defeat You-Know-Who.”

“Wow,” said Harry.

Luna then said, “I trust my vision, but I can’t imagine how going to the Haunted Loo could lead to us being in a library.”

Harry and Hermione shared a look. Harry smiled a crooked smile and said, “Would you lot like to see the place where a sixty-foot-long basilisk tried to kill me? It’ll be fun.”


	12. 1st September, Part 2

**Hours later**

The Hogwarts Express arrived at Hogsmeade. Harry, Hermione, Luna and Neville were among the last to board a thestral-drawn carriage.

When the foursome walked into the Great Hall, they saw Ron already sitting at the Gryffindor table. He was looking at Harry with a haughty expression— _Are you ready to apologise and to grovel yet?_

Harry thought, _Ron, if that is what you’re waiting to hear, you’ll wait a long time_.

Ginny, meanwhile, was glaring painful death at Hermione.

Harry and Hermione were walking up to two empty places on the left-side Gryffindor bench, but were not yet sitting, when an unwanted voice yelled out—

“POTTER! YOU ARE NOT WEARING PROPER HOGWARTS ROBES TO THE WELCOMING FEAST. ONE HUNDRED POINTS FROM GRYFFINDOR, AND A WEEK’S DETENTION WITH ME!”

****

Harry was annoyed. The firsties had not even walked in yet for their Sortings, and Snape already was pulling shit on him. (Oddly, Snape was sparing Hermione.) Harry looked at the High Table—Dumbledore was looking back at him, with eyes a-twinkle, but McGonagall’s place was empty.

Harry glanced at the part of the wall where the four House hourglasses were mounted. The Gryffindor hourglass had no rubies in the bottom, and “-100” was displayed underneath.

Hermione _hissed_.

Dumbledore, who could have cancelled this ridiculous points-loss with only a few words, stayed silent.

Harry looked at Snape and said, “I’ve claimed the title of Lord Potter, and I now wear the Lord Potter ring. Hermione and I are married; she is now Lady Potter. In the circumstances, the _Hogwarts Student Handbook_ , 1938 edition, allows us to wear formal robes as befits our station, instead of Hogwarts robes.”

Hermione pulled the handbook out of her beaded handbag, opened the book, and said cheerfully, “The rule that my husband cites is on page 6, if anyone wishes to look it up.”

Dumbledore said jovially, “I’m curious, Miss Granger, how you came across a copy of the Handbook.”

Hermione replied, “Please address me as ‘Mrs Potter,’ headmaster. Or ‘Lady Potter’ during formal occasions. As for the Handbook, I did _not_ find it in Flourish and Blotts, because this book isn’t sold in Flourish and Blotts for some reason. Nor was it included in any letter from Hogwarts that I ever received during any summer hols. Instead, the Handbook was found here in the castle.”

“Where in the castle was the book found, Mrs Potter? Who found the book? Only students whom I allow, are permitted in Hogwarts during the summer break.”

Ignoring the question, Hermione said, “What is _odd_ is that this 1938 edition seems to be the _most recent_ edition. I couldn’t find a Handbook published after 1945, the year you became headmaster, Professor Dumbledore.”

Then Hermione looked at Dumbledore and said, “As for how the Handbook fell into my hands, I don’t remember.” Hermione did not bother trying to sound convincing.

A second later, Hermione said, “Whoever is trying to read my mind now, I’ll thank you to stop it.” Students gasped. Harry noticed that Flitwick and Sprout turned to look at Dumbledore.

As Hermione sat down, Harry said, “As for your assigned detention, _Professor_ Snape, another portion of the Handbook applies here. Hermione, read the rule about Heads and prefects.”

Hermione flipped pages for a few seconds, then stood and read aloud, “Whilst it is fervently hoped that the Head Boy, Head Girl and the twenty-four prefects all have a solid knowledge of the rules in this Handbook, sometimes this is not the case. Should points wrongly be taken or a detention wrongly assigned for conduct that this Handbook allows or that a professor allows, then the taken points must be restored, the detention must be cancelled, and the headmaster must inform the overzealous Head or prefect of the Handbook rule or the professor’s rule that was overlooked.”

Harry said to Snape, “In short, I’m Lord Potter, and I won’t serve detentions for _dressing like_ Lord Potter, because Hogwarts in 1938 said I may.”

Snape’s grin was evil. “The rule talks about points and detentions that are assigned by _Heads and prefects_. It says nothing about when a _professor_ punishes a student.”

“The handbook says nothing _there_ , yes, but the book _does_ address the problem of bad professors”—Snape scowled—“ _elsewhere_. Hermione?”

Hermione read from the Handbook again: “If a student feels that an act of discipline by a professor is undeserved, the student may appeal to the deputy headmaster, then to the headmaster, then to the Board of Governors. Whilst the appeals process is carried out, the points-loss and/or assigned detentions shall be held in abeyance.”

Harry turned to look pointedly at the Gryffindor hourglass (which still displayed “-100”), then he looked at Dumbledore. “The hundred-points loss is not in abeyance.”

“Harry my boy—”

Harry said coldly, “Address me as ‘Lord Potter.’ I’ve _never_ given you permission to call me by my first name.”

Dumbledore said in a condescending tone, “Lord Potter—”

Professor McGonagall entered the Great Hall, whilst levitating a stool that had the Sorting Hat laying upon it.

McGonagall scowled at the Gryffindor hourglass, then spun to face Snape. “Severus, _what_ did you do?”

Snape replied, “The brat was acting arrogant, just like his father. I took points and assigned detentions, as is my right.”

Hermione said, “Professor Snape disciplined Harry, but not me, for wearing Head of House robes instead of Gryffindor robes. This even though the _Hogwarts Student Handbook_ says Harry can wear either type of robes because he’s Lord Potter now.”

McGonagall glared at Snape and said, “Speaking as deputy headmistress, whatever detentions you assigned Lord Potter are cancelled. The hundred points that you took also are undone.”

The Gryffindor hourglass now showed “0” underneath, the same as what was under the other three hourglasses.

Dumbledore said, “Minerva—”

Ignoring Dumbledore, McGonagall continued, “Severus, please wait till the children _at least_ have eaten dessert before you invent more reasons to punish my Lions.”

Dumbledore said, “ _Minerva!_ I will allow your overruling of Severus’s disciplining of Harry _this time_. But I say, yet again, that I’ve complete trust in Severus _and_ his punishments.”

Throughout the Great Hall, students groaned.

Harry had remained standing all this time. Now he looked at Snape and said, “Maybe the headmaster’s trust means that when I start filing complaints about you with the _Board of Governors_ , you’ll keep your job. If you’ve done nothing wrong, you’ve nothing to fear, right? Of course, _Lucius Malfoy_ no longer is on the Board, so who knows how my complaints will be heard?”

Snape snarled, “Are you _threatening_ me, Potter?”

“Twenty points to the High Table. _Oi_ , it’s not like you’ll treat me _worse_ now, right? Nothing would delight me more, Professor Snape, than for _me_ to see _you_ expelled in disgrace from this school.”

Professor McGonagall said, “This is disgraceful. The first-years are _waiting_ whilst we _argue_.” She now hurried to the Entrance Hall.

As she passed by Harry and Hermione, McGonagall said to Harry, “I heard that on the train, you two introduced yourselves to the first-years. Prefect duty suits you, Lord Potter.” Then for some reason she turned and shot Dumbledore a _look_.

Right afterwards, Professor Flitwick jumped down from his seat at the High Table, and hurried through the Great Hall. He moved to the Ravenclaw table, no surprise, and spoke briefly with Luna; but then he rushed over to the part of the Gryffindor bench where Harry and Hermione by now had seated themselves.

Flitwick said to the Potters, barely above a whisper, “You need to know, Lord Potter, that Minerva put herself on the line for you. She actually _resigned_ after the headmaster decided he was going to appoint Mr _Weasley_ as Lady Potter’s prefect partner.” Flitwick chuckled. “The headmaster persuaded her to tear up her resignation, but she drove a hard bargain.”

“ _How_ hard?” Hermione asked.

Grinning Flitwick replied, “The fifth-year Slytherin prefects are _Minerva’s_ choices instead of Severus’s.”

Harry sighed. “Let me guess: Malfoy and Parkinson?”

Flitwick nodded. “He’s called Draco Black now, but yes.”

Harry looked at Hermione and Flitwick and groaned. “Draco and Pansy as prefects, Ron as a prefect, and me as a peon—Gryffindor and Slytherin would have been at war continually. What was the whiskered clown _thinking?_ ”

McGonagall led the first-years into the Great Hall then. Flitwick returned to his seat.

****

The first-years were Sorted. Every time a Muggle-born firstie was Sorted, Harry and Hermione not only applauded, but the Potters _stood_ to applaud.

Oddly, none of the Muggle-born firsties were Sorted into Slytherin.

****

**Ten minutes after the start of the Welcoming Feast**

Dumbledore walked to the podium and said, “Whilst all of you are enjoying good food and are getting to know your first-year housemates, I want to introduce to you two new professors. Professor Grubbly-Plank now is teaching Care of Magical Creatures. Professor Grubbly-Plank, is there anything you wish to say to the students?”

As the students clapped, the female professor stood up, curtseyed to the students, then sat back down, all without saying a word.

Dumbledore then said, “Also, the new Defence Against the Dark Arts professor is Senior Auror Nigel Grenwick. For one year, he is on loan to us from the Department of Magical Law Enforcement. Let us welcome him now.”

Harry noticed that as the Weasley twins clapped, their faces looked nervous. The applause from some of the Slytherins was less than polite.

Then Senior Auror Grenwick rose to speak. His Auror-red robes were as noticeable as Snape’s always-black robes.

Grenwick said, “I’ve learned a lot, the hard way, about how to fight Dark wizards and witches. I pledge to do my best to pass on my knowledge to all of you, whether you’re a first-year or a seventh-year. But I’ve more to tell you right now than about the DADA classes that I’ll teach this year.

“The headmaster has made me a professor of sorts this year; as such, I can give House points, take House points and assign detentions. But I can do _more_ than only these things. Notice the red robes? I’m a Senior Auror—which means, if you seriously cross the line, I can arrest you.”

The Great Hall was dead silent.

“Here’s my standard. If you cast spells in my class that I didn’t ask for, or if you cast spells in the corridors and I catch you, I’ll take points and assign detentions. If you cast spells here in the Great Hall, I figure you _want_ to get caught, and I’ll let the regular Hogwarts professors discipline you. However, if you seriously injure someone—meaning, your magic _hurts_ someone, and the injury is bad enough that the victim needs to go to the infirmary—I’ll arrest you. I’ll arrest you in my classroom, in the corridors, in the Great Hall, _anywhere_ I see you break the law.”

The Great Hall was stunned silent.

“Just so I’m clear: I’ll arrest you only if _both_ conditions are met: your spell causes pain or draws blood, and your spell requires an infirmary visit. A stinging hex will get you only points taken and a detention from me, not an arrest, because a stinging hex doesn’t mean a trip to the infirmary. If you charm someone’s hair purple, they’ll need to go to the infirmary to get this fixed, but the hair-colour change doesn’t _hurt_. So I won’t arrest you for a purple-hair prank. But if I see blood or I hear groans of pain, and Madam Pomfrey needs to treat the victim, you’re going to be wearing _special_ wrist-covers.”

“ _Bollocks_ ,” a male voice said. “The party’s over.”

“Finally, I should mention the Body-Bind Curse and _Incarcerous_. For the first-years, these are two spells that leave the victim unable to move. Which means that the victim can’t shield against other spells or dodge other spells. I just told all of you that normally I won’t arrest you for casting a Stinging Hex at someone, I’ll only take points and give detentions. However, if you’ve already made your victim unable to move, you then causing him or her _any_ pain—by jinx, by hex, by punching the victim’s shoulder or slapping his face—will get you arrested.”

Grenwick looked about. “I’m not really part of this school. My ultimate boss is not Headmaster Dumbledore, it’s Director Bones. None of the professors here, including McGonagall and Dumbledore, can order me not to arrest someone, or to release someone after I’ve arrested him or her. Sure, the headmaster can cancel my points taken and he can cancel my detentions—but if I say to you, ‘You’re under arrest,’ the headmaster has no control over what happens to you afterwards.”

Down the table from Harry, Ron said to Dean or Seamus, “I’ll bet the Snakes are _shitting their underwear_ right now.”

Grenwick concluded, “Remember this: If you’re a bully, if you make other students’ lives unhappy for no reason, _I’ll_ make _your_ life unhappy; and _I have no favourites_.”

****

As soon as Senior Auror Grenwick sat down, Harry—who was looking quite sharp in his Lord Potter robes, if Hermione’s and Luna’s reactions were any guide—rose and asked, “Headmaster, may I address the room?”

Dumbledore, his eyes a-twinkle, replied, “You may, Harry.”

Harry walked forwards and entered the gap between the High Table and the four House tables. Harry _Sonorus_ ed himself, then turned to address the students—

“You students who are Muggle-born first-years can see that I’m not wearing standard Hogwarts House robes. These robes say that I’m Head of House Potter, _also_ a student in Gryffindor House, _also_ a prefect.

“Usually for a Hogwarts student to wear Head of House robes, three things must have happened. One, the student has been declared to be the Heir or Heiress of his or her House by the Head of House. Two, the previous Head of House has died. Three, the student is of age—in the wizarding world, generally this means age seventeen.

“I can tick off two of the three boxes—but I’m not seventeen. In fact, I was born in 1980, as the seventh month died.” Harry glanced at Dumbledore, who was scowling. “So how am I considered to be ‘of age’ at fifteen? You first-years might not have heard this story, but last year Hogwarts hosted a tournament for three magical schools. The prize offered to the winner was a thousand galleons—five thousand quid—and ‘eternal fame and glory.’

“The details of the tournament don’t matter, except that the tournament was potentially deadly, so _supposedly_ the only students who could enter the contest were students ‘of age’—seventeen or eighteen—and supposedly they had to _volunteer_ to be in the tournament. _Supposedly_ these rules would be magically enforced; then a magical device, the Goblet of Fire, would choose the best student from each school.

“The Goblet of Fire was _supposed to_ pick the best student from each of the _three_ school participating. Instead, the Goblet spit out _four_ names. The fourth name was _me_ , aged fourteen then.”

Harry drew his wand, and pointed it at the ceiling. “My life would’ve been much simpler, last Halloween, if _someone_ ”—Harry glared at the High Table—“had told me about this a year ago.” Harry straightened his posture and spoke formally: “I didn’t put my name in the Goblet of Fire, I didn’t ask an older student to put my name in the Goblet, and I didn’t let an older student put my name in. It wasn’t until June of this year that I learnt who entered my name, how he did it and why. I swear these things on my _life_ and my _magic_.”

Light flashed. Harry waited for the gasps and screams to quiet down, then did _Lumos_ / _Nox_ with his wand.

Harry calmly continued, “It turned out that the man who tricked the Goblet was a Death Eater—a lackey of Lord Voldemort named Barty Crouch, Jr. Most of you remember ‘Mad-Eye’ Moody from last year? He was really Barty Crouch, Jr in disguise. But even before we knew all this, it should’ve been _obvious_ to everyone that my participation in the Triwizard Tournament was a murder plot. I’m the bloody Boy who Lived—I don’t need any more fame or glory. And I’m rich enough that—let’s just say I had _no_ reason to risk my bloody _life_ for one thousand galleons.

“Beginning at the _minute_ my name came out of the Goblet, I told everyone in three schools that I hadn’t put my name in. Some Ministry idiots flapped their jaws and said, ‘You must compete,’ but Albus Dumbledore could’ve overridden them. Except—he didn’t. Albus Dumbledore, who at the time was headmaster of this school _and_ Chief Warlock of the Wizengamot _and_ Supreme Mugwump of the International Confederation of Wizards, said, ‘Harry, you must compete,’ whilst _not_ saying, ‘Harry, I believe your claim.’ My Head of House, Minerva McGonagall, likewise never said, ‘Mr Potter, I believe your claim.’ Meanwhile, Ron Weasley was telling everyone that I was a liar and a cheater. Ron Weasley eats like a pig, he’s the laziest student in the school and he’s regularly tried to break into my trunk, but last year, everyone believed his _slanders_ about me, because he was _supposedly_ my ‘best mate.’

“First-years, let me tell you that for a while last year, my life was rubbish. Not only did I constantly feel the _mortal terror_ from knowing that the tournament could kill me—in the First Task, I faced a _fire-breathing dragon_ —but almost the entire school hated me. By early November of last year, my only defenders were Fred and George Weasley, Neville Longbottom and my future wife Hermione, all of Gryffindor; and Luna Lovegood of Ravenclaw. But everyone else? At best they kept silent, and at worst they scorned me. Even some members of the Potter Alliance were saying bad things about me.” Harry glanced at Susan Bones and Hannah Abbott, who looked down, ashamed.

Harry said, “When the tournament was all over, it turned out that the tournament was rigged so that I’d win it—as part of a complicated plot by Lord Voldemort to resurrect himself and to kill me. Voldy wound up winning one for two—he’s now alive again, but I’m alive too. Alas, Cedric Diggory was not so lucky—Voldy’s minion Peter Pettigrew killed Cedric on Voldy’s order. As for the thousand galleons I ‘won,’ I gave this money away; I didn’t keep one knut of it.

“But quietly I was awarded another prize, one that I didn’t know about till later: By being forced to participate in a tournament of ‘of age’ students, I became ‘of age’ myself, as soon as I faced the scary dragon in the First Task. I wonder whether our esteemed headmaster would’ve arm-twisted me into the tournament, with him wearing a sad face all the while, if he’d realised that he was enabling me to claim my Lord Potter ring thirty-two months early.”

Harry glanced at Dumbledore, who was frowning. Harry thought, _I buggered your “Greater Good” all to hell, didn’t I!_

Harry concluded, “So now I’m Lord Potter, and for most of you in this school, second-years through seventh-years, I’m not in a friendly mood. Meaning, anything that you wouldn’t dare do to Lucius Malfoy a month ago, don’t do to _me_ , or you’ll be sorry. Finally, I’d just like to say to Professor Dumbledore and to Professor McGonagall, thanks for nothing. To Ronald Weasley, I say that you are not now my ‘best mate’ anymore; you now aren’t _any_ kind of friend to me at all. You’re a liar, a slanderer, a Pureblood bigot and a thief, and I’m _done_ with you. _Quietus_.”

The entire Great Hall was silent when Harry walked back to his bench-place at the Gryffindor table. Five Gryffindors had wands pointed at Ron when Harry sat down.

Professor McGonagall stood up, _Sonorus_ sed herself and said, “Lord Potter, I apologise most abjectly for my behaviour towards you last year.”

Harry looked at Dumbledore. Dumbledore did not apologise, and he shot McGonagall a glare.

Harry thought, _Dumbledore will wait till tomorrow, when students will be thinking about their classes, not about me. Then Dumbledore will come after Hermione and me_.


	13. Choose: Expulsion or Divorce

**The next morning  
** **Saturday, 2nd September**

At breakfast, Luna handed Harry a parchment. At the top of the parchment was the title “Three things you should know about Professor Snape.” Below that title were written four sentences.

Luna turned to walk back to the Ravenclaw table. Whilst Luna was still within Harry’s reach, he stood up, wrapped his arms round her and hugged her. Conversations nearby quieted noticeably. Meanwhile, Luna smiled like an angel.

After Harry read the parchment, what he _wanted_ to do was to rush up to the High Table and to zap Snape with the Killing Curse. In the circumstances, this would have been poetic justice, considering what Luna had written. Instead, Harry gave Hermione a meaningful look, then dropped the parchment into her beaded handbag.

Hermione looked curiously at Harry, but did not pull out Luna’s parchment and read it with other Gryffindors nearby.

****

**At lunch**

Sylvia Abbott, the seventh-year Hufflepuff who was Head Girl, walked over to the Gryffindor table to where Harry and Hermione were sitting. Sylvia said, “Lord Potter, the headmaster wishes to see you after lunch.”

Harry looked at Hermione. Hermione said to Sylvia, “We’re both free after lunch.” No surprise, Hermione already knew both her own timetable and Harry’s.

Harry said, “Ah, but is McGonagall free as well?” Harry left the bench and stood up.

Sylvia said, “Wait, what does McGonagall have to do with anything? The headmaster didn’t mention her at all.”

Hermione pulled the _Hogwarts Student Handbook_ out of her beaded handbag, _Geminio_ -copied it and gave the copy to Sylvia. Hermione said, “Page 26. Harry may insist that his Head of House be present whenever he meets with the headmaster.”

Harry thanked Sylvia (who walked away slowly, reading the Handbook as she walked). Meanwhile, Harry walked up to the High Table to speak with Professor McGonagall.

Harry said to McGonagall, “First of all, thank you for publicly apologising to me during the Welcoming Feast. I accept your apology. Secondly, are you free after lunch?”

She said, “I’m afraid not, Lord Potter. I have a Deputy Headmistress meeting with the three other Heads of House till 2:30.”

Harry then looked at Dumbledore, who was sitting next to McGonagall. Harry said, “Then _we’ll_ see you at 2:35.”

“Harry my boy,” said Dumbledore, “I am a busy wizard, and I might well have things I need to do at 2:35. You are free after lunch, and so am I, remarkably—so I _insist_ that we meet in my office in ten minutes. You may tell Minerva about the meeting afterwards.”

Harry replied, “You ‘insist’ all you want; but page 26 of the Handbook says I don’t have to meet you alone. We’ll see you at 2:35—reschedule your other appointments or cancel the meeting, I don’t care which.”

****

**2:35 p.m.**

When Harry walked into Dumbledore’s office, he brought McGonagall, as Dumbledore unhappily expected—but Harry also walked in with Hermione (as Harry had planned all along).

Dumbledore’s eyes were twinkling as he asked jovially, “Miss Granger, what are you doing here? I intended for my meeting with Harry to be a private one.”

Hermione replied, “I’m taking advantage of page 26 of the Handbook: ‘When one student-spouse is summoned by a professor for a meeting, the other student-spouse may attend the meeting.’ ”

Hermione then said in her know-it-all voice, “The rule probably was established to prevent a student-wife from being accosted by a lecherous professor, but right now it helps Harry.”

“Anyway,” Harry said to Dumbledore, “the four of us all are here. What would you like to discuss?”

Dumbledore said, “Harry, I would like to ask you— _Stupefy!_ ”

A V-shaped red beam erupted from the bumpy wand that Dumbledore suddenly was holding in his hand. McGonagall and Hermione each were Stunned unconscious.

****

Harry had Seeker-fast reflexes; and he was instantly angry enough that he did accidental magic. In the next moment, Dumbledore’s bumpy wand flew out of his hand and into Harry’s hand, without Harry speaking a word; meanwhile, Dumbledore and his chair flew backwards and the chair tipped over backwards.

When Dumbledore stood up, he had bleeding wounds on his wand-hand. “ _Give me back my wand!_ ” he demanded.

Harry by then was a bit distracted. The wand that he held was pushing knowledge about itself into Harry’s brain. According to what he was learning, he was holding a super-duper ancient wand that dozens of wizards had hunted for.

Harry said to Dumbledore, “It’s not your wand now, but mine, by Right of Conquest. Still, I have no interest in a powerful wand, so _eventually_ you’ll get it back.”

Then Harry said, “Before I Rennervate the women, tell me why you Stunned them.”

Dumbledore righted his knocked-down chair by muscle power, sat in the chair, then looked imperiously at Harry. “A prophecy has been made about you. I _insist_ that you tell me, in privacy, what you know about the prophecy, and how and when you learnt it.”

“You ‘insist,’ huh? ‘In privacy,’ huh?”

Then Harry waved the Elder Wand. “ _Rennervate_. _Rennervate_. _Incarcerous_.”

Dumbledore yelled, “Don’t revive them, answer my questions!” But since the headmaster was tied up for the moment, yelling was _all_ he could do.

Harry’s grin was evil. “I promise I’ll address your questions—a minute from now.”

****

**Eleven seconds later**

Hermione asked, “Who Stunned Professor McGonagall and me? Why were we Stunned? Why is Professor Dumbledore tied up?”

Harry asked, “Professor, is your mind clear now?”

McGonagall answered, “Yes, Mr—Lord Potter, I’m awake. I very much _also_ wish to hear the answers to Lady Potter’s questions.”

Harry said, “To answer Hermione’s questions: Dumbledore Stunned both of you, which made me mad, and I did a powerful accidental-magic _Expelliarmus_ spell before he could block me. This is how I now hold this old wand. Just now, when I _Rennervate_ d you two, I also _Incarcerous_ ed the headmaster, because he _still_ has me cheesed off.”

Hermione asked, “What did Professor Dumbledore do _this_ time, Harry?” Both McGonagall and Dumbledore gave Hermione surprised looks.

Harry replied, “Some years ago, Sybill Trelawney—”

“ _Harry!_ ” Dumbledore yelled. “ _Say no more!_ ”

Harry put still-tied-up Dumbledore under a Silencing Charm, then continued, “Some years ago, Sybill Trelawney spoke a true prophecy. About me.”

McGonagall looked disbelieving.

“The Prophecy is recorded in a glass ball in the Hall of Prophecies, where only Lord Voldemort and I can play it. But the headmaster doesn’t need to travel there in order to know the Prophecy, because he heard Trelawney speak the Prophecy. Here is the Prophecy—”

Harry then recited the Prophecy. He did not mention that whilst Professor McGonagall was hearing the Prophecy now, and Hermione was pretending to hear the Prophecy for the first time, actually Hermione, Amelia Bones and Saul Croaker already had heard the Prophecy.

Harry added, “ _Professor_ Snape heard the first half of the Prophecy; he told Voldemort as much of the Prophecy as he’d heard. _Professor_ Snape got my parents killed.”

McGonagall stared at Harry and at Dumbledore in horror.

Then Harry cancelled the Silencing spell and the _Incarcerous_ spell on Dumbledore, but Harry still left the headmaster wandless.

****

Without pause, Dumbledore demanded, “How and when did you learn the full Prophecy? Who outside this room knows the Prophecy? How did you learn those things about Severus? You did not learn those things from _me_.”

Harry shook his head. “Not going to tell you.”

In the same breath, Harry explained, “Remember all those times you’ve said ‘I’ve complete confidence in Professor Snape’? Well, Snape not only talked to Tom Riddle in 1981, Snape _still_ talks to him! As you well know. So, headmaster, I’m not telling you a _goddamn_ thing because _you’re a sodding security risk!_ ”

“I’m the Leader of the Light!”

“No, you’re a _headmaster_ whom everyone fawns over. You’re no longer my guardian, thanks to your blunder last year. The best you can hope for is to be my _advisor_ —this is _if_ I choose you to _be_ my advisor. As I’m no fool, I _don’t_. I’ll ask advice from a bushy-haired schoolgirl”—Harry smiled at Hermione, who smiled back—“but not from the has-been meddler who repeatedly has exiled me to the Dursleys.”

“Harry, everything I’ve done has been for your—”

Harry did not let Dumbledore finish his campaign speech. “ _No_ thanks to you, headmaster, I no longer have the _piece of Voldemort’s soul_ in my scar.” Harry used a hand to lift his bangs up, exposing his forehead. “The scar has not pained me for four weeks. All is well—but not because of anything _you_ did.”

Hermione grinned. McGonagall stared. Dumbledore lost the plot: “Harry, I demand to know what happened to your scar, and what you know about what was in your scar.”

Harry replied, “ _I_ demand that you fire Snape.”

Hermione said, “ _I_ demand unrestricted access to the Restricted Section.”

Then Hermione looked at Dumbledore and added, “But just because I ‘demand’ something, I don’t expect the world to _meet_ my demand. _Honestly_ , headmaster—Harry doesn’t trust you, for good reason, and it’s all your own fault. So don’t demand secrets from Harry whilst refusing to share secrets yourself.”

Hermione stood. “Now, unless you’ve something _education-related_ to discuss, _headmaster_ , my husband and I are leaving now. Headmaster and Professor McGonagall, good afternoon.”

Harry grinned at Hermione.

Dumbledore snapped, “Sit down, girl, and be silent, or I shall expel you.”

Two teenagers, and an animagus professor, all said “ _What?_ ”

****

Dumbledore said, “By my authority as headmaster, I can expel you, Hermione Granger—or Hermione Potter, as you call yourself now. Your presence, and your activities in class, are upsetting to the Purebloods; and just now you have spoken to me disrespectfully.”

McGonagall said, “Albus, you can’t be serious!”

Dumbledore said, “But Harry is in a position to talk me out of this irreversible action.”

Silence fell, then stretched, as Harry said nothing and kept on saying nothing.

It was McGonagall who asked the question: “What must Lord Potter do to stop you from expelling Lady Potter?”

“Harry must stand up in the Great Hall and declare divorce against his wife. Otherwise, she is expelled and her wand snapped.”

McGonagall said, “You are acting foolishly, Albus. This, or your mind is unwell.”

Harry and Hermione shared a look. Hermione mouthed the initials _M-M-A_. With a cruel smile, Hermione said, “Do it, husband.”

Harry stood up, handed the Elder Wand to McGonagall, walked to the headmaster’s desk and put both his hands on the top of that desk. Harry stared into Dumbledore’s eyes and said, “Hermione and I hereby withdraw from Hogwarts.”

Hermione looked at shocked-looking McGonagall and said, “Please refund to Lord Potter the school fees he paid for both of us this year. Be ready to send our school records to Manchester Magical Academy when the school asks for them.”

Hearing the words _Manchester Magical Academy_ , Dumbledore’s face paled.

McGonagall looked at Dumbledore and yelled, “ _Albus, fix this!_ ”

Harry said, “Professor McGonagall, I nominate Neville Longbottom as my replacement prefect.”

Hermione said, “I nominate Fay Dunbar or Parvati Patil as mine.”

Harry said, “I nominate Ginny Weasley as Gryffindor Seeker. Her brother is still a berk, however, and she’s still a stalker fangirl.”

Dumbledore said, “Perhaps I have been hasty.”

Harry said, “Hasty? Definitely. But for now I’ll withdraw my withdrawal. Secure from Red Alert.”

Dumbledore said, “This is some Muggle saying, right?”

Harry looked at Dumbledore and said, “Before I leave: The Prophecy declares _me_ to be the person to vanquish Voldemort—or to die trying—so the decisions how to do this are _mine_ to make. Up till now, you’ve meddled in my life to a sickening degree, deciding where I live, whom I’ll marry and how much money I can keep in my trust vault—but this stops now. _Merlin_ , Dumbledore, ten months ago, you had a simple decision to make: Do you force fourteen-year-old me to participate in a deadly tournament, or do you use your political titles and personal connexions to free me from my magical obligation? It was the simplest, most obvious choice in the world, yet you made the _wrong_ choice—so figure that from here on out, I’ll ignore everything you ‘insist’ upon.”

Seconds later, McGonagall gave the Elder Wand back to Dumbledore; then Harry, Hermione and Professor McGonagall walked out of the headmaster’s office.

As the three walked down the steps, Hermione said to Harry, “Flipping the headmaster’s ‘She’s expelled unless you do what I want’ back on him? That felt good.”

****

Alone in his office, Albus sulked like a child. (Which was wrong to do, because the last time Albus had been an actual child, Muggles had been transporting themselves using horses and wooden ships with canvas sails.)

On the day that Albus had heard Trelawney’s prophecy, he had realised the implications for _himself_.

Albus had heard the prophecy before the child of Alice Longbottom and the child of Lily Potter had been born. The timing of the prophecy suggested that the prophesied boy or girl would defeat Tom (or would die in the attempt) during childhood, not in adulthood.

If the prophesied child died in the attempt to kill Tom, Albus could swoop in, finish the deed, and become the most famous magical person since Merlin. On the other hand, if the prophesied child to be born in July 1980 actually defeated Tom, Albus would be forgotten like yesterday’s newspaper.

This second result could not be allowed to happen.

Wizarding Britain needed certain things, there were certain actions that needed to be taken, and only Albus had the vision to see what had to be done. For the Greater Good, wizards and witches had to keep listening to Albus after Tom’s defeat.

Which meant that the Longbottom child or the Potter child, whichever child battled Tom, had to die.

By November 1981, which was fifteen months after the boys’ births, Albus had concocted and had carried out schemes. Albus had weakened Neville Longbottom and Harry Potter magically (by covertly binding their magical cores) and emotionally (by eliminating their parents and by placing the boys with emotionally abusive relatives).

And oh, how Albus’s schemes had worked at first—in September 1991, it had taken all of Albus’s self-control not to dance whenever he saw one boy or the other. Neville the first-year had been a pudgy boy who had everyone (including himself) convinced that he was a near-Squib, and Longbottom had had no self-confidence. Harry had been small, malnourished, scarred and pathetically grateful for attention. Harry had walked into Hogwarts knowing _nothing_ about magical dueling—yet someday he might “vanquish” Tom? Not a chance.

Albus had engineered a friendship between Harry and Ron Weasley, the lazy youngest son of Molly Weasley, the woman who was Albus’s most full-throated supporter (pun intended). Indeed, by the time Harry had been Sorted, he and Ron Weasley had become friends, and Weasley had influenced Harry to ask the Hat to put him into Gryffindor.

During the next two months, Ron Weasley had convinced Harry to skive off his studies and to play at frivolous things during Harry’s time at Hogwarts; Ron also, unknown to Harry, had told all their yearmates in other Houses, “Harry doesn’t like you,” thus ensuring that Harry had no other friends at Hogwarts. By Halloween of 1991, Harry Potter had had exactly one friend—Ron Weasley—and Harry’s marks in class were ordinary.

So far, so good.

But on Halloween of 1991, Harry had rescued Hermione Granger, a genius Muggle-born who also was in Gryffindor, from a troll. Somehow this had turned into a second friendship for Harry. But whilst Weasley had kept up his friendship with Harry so that he could bask in Harry’s reflected glory, Granger had become devoted to Harry the _person_.

Albus had managed to blunt Granger’s help to Harry for most of four years, by giving her ruinous orders about Harry whilst assuring the girl that these orders were “for Harry’s own good.” Granger, who had had a ridiculous trust in authority figures of all types, had believed Albus and had carried out his orders. But somehow since the beginning of July, Hermione Granger’s trust in Albus had vanished.

Four years after the start of Harry’s and Hermione’s friendship, Albus could only scowl at the results: Ron Weasley cast out of the Golden Trio, with Hermione Granger elevated to soulmate and wife. The Muggle-born bookworm never pushed Harry to live life easy; rather, she assured him that he could achieve great things, then she pushed him to achieve those great things.

It was absurd to imagine Ron Weasley’s “best mate” Harry defeating Tom. But Harry the husband of Hermione Potter, defeating Tom? This scenario now was plausible.

Which meant: Somehow Hermione Potter had to die, or had to decide to divorce Harry, without Harry blaming Albus for causing Hermione’s loss. Hermione Potter gone from Harry’s life would make the boy become weak, ignorant, and depressed after a time—no challenge at all to Tom.

Albus needed to plan this out.

****

**Meanwhile, elsewhere in the castle**

Harry, Hermione and Luna had a problem.

They knew that one of Voldemort’s horcruxes, a tiara, was “in a room at Hogwarts that is filled with junk.” The only problem was, none of the trio had ever heard of such a room.

Harry, out of ideas, called Dobby. Dobby elf- _pop_ ped the trio to a corridor that he told Harry was on the seventh floor. Harry was puzzled, because he saw no junk, and no door to a roomful of junk; all he saw was a tapestry on the wall to the left of the corridor—a tapestry of a wizard trying to teach trolls how to dance ballet.

Dobby told Harry and the girls that on the other side of the corridor was the Room of Requirement, which would become whatever a person most needed. Dobby coached the trio that “the room that is filled with junk” was known to the Hogwarts house-elves as the Come and Go Room, and was one aspect of the Room of Requirement; but really, the Room of Requirement could become any sort of room that the pacing person “needed.” (However, the Room of Requirement could not supply true food or drink; food or drink had to be brought in from elsewhere.)

Hermione wanted to experiment. She paced in front of the tapestry, thinking that she “needed” a perfect replica of the children’s section of the Crawley Library. All three teenagers were startled to see a door suddenly appear in the wall opposite the tapestry. When Hermione opened the door and walked through it, she took two steps inside the Room and started jumping up and down.

When Harry walked through the door, he could see why the Crawley bookworm was so excited.

In the Room were stored many skinny books on low shelves. A map of the United Kingdom had a big blue dot in West Sussex, which was labelled “Crawley (town)” in big letters. The carpet had letters and words printed into it. This same carpet, and also the walls, were a riot of all the colours that Harry might see in a crayon box. A poster on the wall read “Reading is fun”; the poster showed a lion (who was standing on two legs and who was wearing a Union Jack waistcoat) smiling as he read a blue book.

In this copied children’s library room, Hermione was sighing contently, grinning like today were Christmas morning, and wandering to and fro on the carpet as she looked about in wonder.

Harry had no doubt at all that the place where child-Hermione had spent many happy hours, had been perfectly copied within Hogwarts Castle.

After all three students walked out of the “library,” the door vanished.

This time it was Luna who experimented: as she paced back and forth three times, Luna told whatever magical entity that was reading her mind, that she “needed” a perfect copy of the sitting room at the Rookery. The door appeared opposite to the troll tapestry, Luna walked in—and clapped in delight. “It looks exactly like home! I even see stacked galley sheets for yesterday’s _Quibbler_ on one end of the sofa.”

The trio walked out of the duplicated sitting room, the door vanished, then it was time to get serious. It was Harry who paced three times in front of the dancing-trolls tapestry, thinking that he “needed” the Come and Go Room, a.k.a the junk room.

****

The Space-Expansion Charm, after it had been invented centuries ago, probably had been first cast on the Come and Go Room. The ceiling was not all that high in this Room, only about twenty feet up, but the length and width of this Room made this Room bigger than Hogwarts Castle and its grounds. As a result, there had to be a full thousand years’ worth of junk in this Room. Hermione pointed out a book, _Thirde Year Charms_ , 1674 edition, that had a discolouration that marred the front cover.

In a cracked bowl, Harry discovered about a hundred galleon coins. The sculpting on the front and back of these coins was different than for modern galleon coins. Harry said to Hermione and Luna, “Help yourselves.” (Neither girl took any of the old coins.)

Since the Room was enormous, the trio never did find the evil tiara till Hermione thought to use the Point There spell. As soon as the trio saw the horcrux-tainted tiara, Luna blurted, “That’s the lost Diadem of Rowena Ravenclaw!”

With Harry’s single thought, the Sword of Gryffindor appeared in Harry’s hand. He was about to smite the horcruxed Diadem when the girls begged, “Is there some way we can get rid of the horcrux without destroying the Diadem?”

The goblins, Harry remembered, had de-horcruxed Hufflepuff’s Healing Cup; so Harry sent Dobby to ask them, “How much to de-horcrux Ravenclaw’s Diadem but still leave the Diadem’s original magic intact?”

The answer swiftly came back: “Two thousand galleons.” Harry suspected he was being nobbled, but he agreed to the deal with a smile.

(The reason for the smile was that when Hermione and Luna learnt that Harry was willing to spend two thousand galleons to prevent destroying Ravenclaw’s Diadem, Luna kissed Harry on the cheek and Hermione snogged him mightily.)

The goblins supplied a lead box for Dobby to put the Diadem in. Dobby _pop_ ped into the Come and Go Room, levitated the Diadem into the box and _pop_ ped out.

A few hours later, as the trio was finishing dinner in the Great Hall, a Gringotts owl arrived. The Gringotts letter told Harry that the horcrux had been removed from the Diadem, and the Diadem had been stored in the Potter family vault.

Now the only one of Voldemort’s horcruxes that was still intact was Nagini, the big snake. Whilst destroying the Diadem’s horcrux had turned out to be no more scary and dangerous than watching ink dry on parchment, when Harry would go to attack the big snake, he would be gambling with his life!

****

**After dinner**

Harry, Hermione and Luna walked into Myrtle Warren’s haunted lavatory. Harry used Parseltongue to lead the girls from the lavatory sinks into the Chamber of Secrets.

Hermione called the big underground room “creepy.”

The Chamber was dark, it was damp, and statues of hooded cobras did not create a cheerful mood. But Luna had said there was something down here that almost surely would enable Harry to defeat Voldemort, so the trio began to explore.

The trio immediately saw that the basilisk was gone from the Chamber of Secrets—the basilisk had been rendered by the goblins. The basilisk fang that Harry had used to stab Tom Riddle’s diary, the same fang that Harry had left on the floor in the Chamber? The goblins had taken the fang too. Now Harry saw no sign that the basilisk ever had been slain in the Chamber of Secrets.

It was Hermione who discovered that a part of the wall had slither-tracks leading up to it. Interestingly, this part of the wall had a palm-sized round hole in it, through which some light came through. When Harry said “ _§Open§_ ” to this part of the wall, it irised open to form a man-height round hole, beyond which lay a tunnel of the same size. Harry’s command of “ _§Close§_ ” irised the hole in the wall to be small again, then Harry and the girls resumed exploring.

Harry remembered that the big statue-head of Salazar Slytherin would open its mouth on command. Echoing the words that the image of Tom Riddle had said two years ago, Harry hissed, “ _§Speak to me, Slytherin, greatest of the Hogwarts Four.§_ ”

(Hermione rolled her eyes when she was told the translation. Luna said, “Salazar Slytherin sounds conceited. A Founder of Hogwarts was infested with wrackspurts?”)

The trio heard the sound of stone grinding against stone as the statue-head dropped its bearded jaw. Now a tunnel was revealed beyond the sculpted mouth.

The trio went through the tunnel and found themselves in a big and high-ceilinged room with a strong smell—the basilisk’s doghouse. Eventually by trial and error on Harry’s part, the trio discovered some of the “secrets” of the Chamber of Secrets—

The basilisk’s room had a door-cutout and two magically hidden and locked doors.

The door-cutout opened into a two-room suite. In the sitting room of the suite, which was lit by the fireplace and by wall sconces, the furniture was wooden with green upholstery. On a wall, near a small set of bookshelves, was a painting of a hooded cobra in grass.

“ _§Who are you people?§_ ” the painting-cobra demanded.

Harry answered, “ _§I am a cunning Gryffindor who is loyal to my friends. Both of my friends are Ravenclaw-smart.§_ ”

The bookshelves contained about a hundred books, all in Parseltext—meaning, the girls could read none of the books. (Luna looked disappointed; Hermione muttered, “Bloody hell!”) On the top shelf was a Parseltext porn story; Harry did not mention this fact to his companions.

In the suite, near the long sofa was a big fireplace, which had fired up as soon as the three students had entered. Luna pointed out that the fireplace was not Floo-capable.

As the three teens left the suite, Harry said, “ _§Goodbye.§_ ” The fires in the fireplace and the wall sconces went out.

Back in the basilisk’s room, the teens discovered that one of the hidden/locked doors opened to a combination potions laboratory and ritual floor. After the trio entered and looked about, they promptly left this room.

(Later, the trio realised that this room had only fifty years’ worth of dust on its floor and tabletops. Meaning: Tom Riddle as a student had visited this room.)

The other hidden/locked door opened to a library that was half the size of the regular Hogwarts library. In Slytherin’s Library, every book had a green cover. Everything in the room was covered with thick dust—a thousand years’ worth. Harry needed to call Dobby to remove the heavy dust, because already all three teenagers were congested and coughing.

(Dobby grinned in delight as he magically removed the dust.)

Harry realised what the heavy dust meant: Tom Riddle had never set foot in this library, so _any and all knowledge found here were spells that the Dark Lord knew not_.

The library room had, besides bookshelves full of books, two little two-chair tables and a huge wooden table that was surrounded by ten chairs. On this last table, in the centre, was a green-covered book, _§Read Me First§_.

Harry _Accio_ ’d the book to himself and was dutifully reading it, whilst Hermione and Luna were discovering that they could read none of the books on the shelves. Hermione actually _whinged_.

But almost instantly, Luna was at Harry’s elbow. Luna held out to Harry a particular green-covered book.

Luna said, “My Sight is blocked almost totally by Seer smoke, so I’ve no idea of what this book says. But this is the book that on the train, I foresaw you holding. Just now I’ve foreseen a bit more: If you read this book today, the lives of all three of us will change.”


	14. The Founders’ Ritual

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In this chapter I mention a Parseltongue spell, _§Goldkeh§_ , that demagics whoever or whatever it touches. Can you guess the origin of the name?

**Still Saturday, 2nd September, evening  
** **Still in the Slytherin Library, in the Chamber of Secrets**

As Luna held out a certain green-covered book, she said, “If you read this book today, the lives of all three of us will change.”

Harry said, “Let’s all find out what the book says.” He took the book, put it on the table, and pointed his wand at it. “ _§Conjure two translations.§_ ”

Two books appeared, each identical in its dimensions to the green book, but these other books had blue covers.

“Oh my god,” said Hermione, “ _The Founding of Hogwarts: A Memoir_ by Salazar Slytherin.”

****

**Later**

Each of the friends was reading a copy of Slytherin’s memoir. Harry blurted, “ _Merlin!_ Look at page 142, ladies!”

Even as Hermione and Luna were flipping pages, Hermione was asking, “What are we...?” Then Hermione stopped speaking in mid-sentence.

For two seconds, Hermione was silent as she stared at her book. Then she said, “ _Kedavrub Protego?_ ‘A charm which reflects back every curse, even the most awful’? Harry, I’ve always heard that the ‘Unforgivables’ are called this because they can’t be blocked! Yet Salazar found a way to block them?”

Luna said, “Yes and no, Hermione. It says here, ‘The _Kedavrub Protego_ spell works, but it leaves the caster dizzy and magically exhausted. If you’ve only one enemy, who doesn’t cast a second spell before his own reflected Killing Curse kills him, this spell will save your life. But otherwise, this charm leaves you helpless: a magical child can walk up to you casting _Rictusempra_ and you’ll be too weak to prevent the tickling. If you face two enemies whilst using this spell, or if you face one enemy who is impatient to kill you, then you’re dead. The only way to avoid this problem is with the Love’s Power Boost ritual.’ ”

Harry said, “I wonder, there in Godric’s Hollow, did fifteen-month-old me cast _Kedavrub Protego_ as accidental magic? Till now I’ve always believed that it was _my mother_ who defeated Voldy that night, not _I_.”

Hermione said, “I thought so too, till I read this page just now. The Prophecy says that _you_ are the one with ‘the power to vanquish the Dark Lord,’ not your mother. So _yes_ , I think it was _you_ who destroyed him! Listen, a year ago you drove off a hundred Dementors with your Patronus, so is it a surprise that you as a toddler accidental-magicked a spell that normally is exhausting to cast?”

Luna asked, “Someone made a prophecy about Harry Potter?”

Harry and Hermione paused their discussion about _Kedavrub Protego_ to tell Luna the Prophecy.

Luna smiled mysteriously. “This book says that the way to prevent magical exhaustion with the _Kedavrub Protego_ charm is to first do the Love’s Power Boost ritual. Let’s all find out what Salazar has to say about this.”

****

**Minutes later**

Hermione said, “A thousand years ago, four magical friends did this ritual, and it turned two friendly witches and wizards into sorcerers and sorceresses? Powerful enough to create a magical school that has lasted for a thousand years?”

Harry said, “I thought at first, ‘I’m glad Voldy never found this ritual.’ But it wouldn’t have done him any good if he indeed had found it. The ritual can be performed only once in someone’s life, this book says, and the ritual requires every person in the ritual group to _love_ each of the others in some way. Voldy doesn’t know the meaning of the word.”

Luna said, “Harry? Hermione? The whole school knows that you have romantic love for each other. Do you love me, as a friend? Because I love you both. You’re better friends to me than Ginevra Weasley ever was—and if we all love each other, _I think we should do the ritual_.”

****

**Later  
** **In the potions lab and ritual room, in the Chamber of Secrets**

Harry conjured white paint, and painted a heptagram (seven-sided pentagram) on the floor. Harry sent Dobby to bring seven white candles. The trio placed the seven candles at the corners of the heptagram, then lit the candles.

Harry, Hermione and Luna removed their shoes. Then, whilst being careful not to step on the white lines, they stepped inside the heptagram. The trio made as close to a large equilateral triangle, in where they stood, as they could manage whilst staying inside all the white lines.

Luna began the ritual. She lifted her right arm and pointed her hand towards the person on her right (Hermione). Luna recited, “I link to the person I love on my right.”

A pink line came out of Luna’s right hand, and hit Hermione in her chest. Hermione showed no pain.

Hermione lifted her right arm and pointed her hand at Harry. Hermione recited, “I link to the person I love on my right.”

A pink line extended from Hermione’s right hand and went into Harry’s chest.

To Harry, the pink line entering his chest felt like his heart was being hugged.

Harry lifted his right arm and pointed his hand at Luna. Seconds later, the three teenagers were linked by three pink lines of magic between them.

Luna recited solemnly, “As I love Hermione Potter many times more than I love a stranger, I call upon Magic to boost all our magic by the measure of my love.”

Suddenly Harry felt stronger then. It was as if he had drunk two bottles of Pepper-Up Potion when he did not need them.

Luna recited, “As I love Harry Potter many times more than I love a stranger, I call upon Magic to boost all our magic by the measure of my love.”

Again Harry suddenly felt magically stronger. He saw that both Hermione’s hair, and Luna’s hair, were hanging away from their bodies; no longer were the girls’ hair hanging straight down.

Now it was Hermione who spoke: “As I love Harry Potter many times more than I love a stranger, I call upon Magic to boost all our magic by the measure of my love.”

Harry felt like he had grabbed a power line—if such a thing could somehow not kill him. Hermione’s hair and Luna’s hair were hanging down but away, at a 45-degree angle now.

Hermione recited, “As I love Luna Lovegood many times more than I love a stranger, I call upon Magic to boost all our magic by the measure of my love.”

Again Harry felt a magical power jolt. The girls’ hair now formed a sagging ball about each of their heads.

Harry recited, “As I love Luna Lovegood many times more than I love a stranger, I call upon Magic to boost all our magic by the measure of my love.” After saying this, Harry received another magical power boost.

Then Harry finished the ritual: “As I love Hermione Potter many times more than I love a stranger, I call upon Magic to boost all our magic by the measure of my love.”

The power jolt made Harry _and_ Hermione _and_ Luna all gasp.

Hermione’s hair now was sticking out from her head in every direction, in defiance of gravity; so was Luna’s. The triangle-shaped space between the teens now was filled with crackling pink lightning.

Luna recited, “I thank you, Magic, for your gifts to me.”

Hermione recited, “I thank you, Magic, for your gifts to me.”

Harry recited, “I thank you, Magic, for your gifts to me.”

The pink lines and the pink lightning disappeared, and gravity reclaimed the girls’ hair.

The teens stepped out of the heptagram, and put their shoes back on. They nonmagically blew out the seven candles, then vanished the candles. Harry pointed his wand at the heptagram and hissed, “ _§Deactivate the heptagram§_ ” to make the heptagram be magically inert; then he cast _Scourgify lines_ to remove, both physically and magically, the painted heptagram lines from the ritual floor. The trio walked out of the ritual room; Harry cast Parsel spells to lock, then to hide, the potion-laboratory/ritual-room door.

Now the three friends stood in the large, stinky basilisk room. For several seconds, nobody spoke.

Then Hermione said, “I feel like I just ate ten cans of spinach. Correction: I feel like I just ate ten cans of _Kryptonian_ spinach.”

Luna grinned at Harry. “Now _certainly_ you ‘have power the Dark Lord knows not.’ ”

****

Then Luna’s grin got bigger. “I don’t have Seer smoke anymore. I can see the futures _clearly_. Oh, this is so fun!”

“Fun?” said Harry, feeling confused. “How is being a better Seer ‘fun’?”

Luna pulled her wand out of her hair and handed it, handle first, to Hermione. “I’ll show you. One of you conjure a blindfold over my face.”

Harry and Hermione shrugged, then Hermione conjured a wide black blindfold over Luna’s eyes. Then Hermione, without being asked, conjured a half-hood that covered the top half of Luna’s head (including covering the blindfold).

Luna smiled at the Potters before walking to the far end of the basilisk room. Somehow Luna stopped just before the far wall, without needing to put her hand out to feel it. Now Luna turned about so that she was facing Harry and Hermione.

Luna said, “Now, Harry Potter and Hermione Potter, shoot Stinging Hexes at me.”

As requested, Harry did the proper wand motion, then pointed his wand at Luna, all whilst saying “ _Acer dorsus_.” As soon as the spell left Harry’s wand—

—Luna sidestepped to her left. Two seconds later, when the Stinging Hex had crossed the room and was arriving at the place where Luna had stood, Luna was not there anymore; the hex missed her.

Harry said, “Luna, however you did that, you don’t want an enemy to know everything you can do. Wait till the last moment before you move.”

“I shall do this, Harry Potter. You give good advice.”

Harry said, “Now let’s see how good your Sight powers _really_ are, _myuhaha_.”

Harry fired four Stinging Hexes rapidly—one aimed at Luna herself, one aimed to Luna’s left, almost instantly followed by one to Luna’s right, then one again aimed at where Luna was standing.

When the Stinging Hexes came close, Luna did sidestepping, except when a pair of deliberately misaimed hexes was aimed to both her right and to her left; then Luna remained where she was. Four hexes cast, four misses.

Now Hermione joined in; the two Potters double-teamed still-blindfolded Luna. The results were no better. So long as the Potters stayed on one side of the basilisk-room and Luna was on the other side, so that it took a hex two or three seconds to travel to Luna, the hexes never hit her. The most that Harry and Hermione achieved was to give Luna more of a workout as she sidestepped and twisted in order to evade the Potters’ hexes.

Ten minutes of hexing passed with no success at all for the Potters. Harry and Hermione stopped their Stinging-Hex attacks, vanished Luna’s half-hood and blindfold, and gave Luna back her wand. Sweaty Luna smiled at the Potters serenely.

Hermione did a _Tempus_ , then said, “It’s a little more than an hour till Luna’s curfew. Can we go back into the library and read that Founders book some more? With that ritual in it, the book is too dangerous to take from here, but the memoir is _so fascinating_ to read.”

****

**Ten minutes later, back in the Slytherin Library**

Harry blurted, “Page 156, ladies! Hurry, hurry, this is why I’m here!”

Less than half a minute later, Hermione said, “The Ball of Magical Cancellation, this is what has you excited?”

Harry said, “ _Yes!_ This spell creates a ball of _anti-magic_ which the caster controls, which absorbs all the magic in whatever it touches. The more magic the caster has when he makes the ball, the more magic the ball absorbs before it disappears.”

Luna smiled. “When we fight Death Eaters, this would be useful.”

Harry said, “I need to test this. _Dobby!_ ”

Seconds later, Dobby had come , gone, and returned with three phials of Dreamless Sleep Potion. Harry had Dobby put the three potion-bottles at the far end of the giant table.

Harry did the wand movement for the Goldkeh spell to make the Ball of Magical Cancellation; his wand tip made a tiny ‘z’, followed by a thrust at the potion bottles, as Harry said “ _§Goldkeh§_.” A white stream of magic shot out of Harry’s wand and moved toward the potion bottles; but halfway there, the white stream turned black, and the growing ball at the end of the black stream also was black.

Harry’s mind _intended_ for the black ball to move through the three potion-phials. Harry heard a quiet _slurp_ - _slurp_ - _slurp_ sound as the black ball moved through the three phials. The black ball did not disappear—meaning, the ball still had some magic-absorbing power left. Harry spoke “ _§Geendet sich§_ ,” and the black ball and the white/black stream both disappeared.

Harry walked over to the three now-magicless(?) bottles of Dreamless Sleep Potion, then set two of the bottles in front of Hermione and Luna. Harry sat back down in his chair and said, “Let’s see what I’ve done.”

Harry removed the cap from his own potion bottle and sniffed. “It smells the same.”

Harry poured about two cubic centimeters of potion into his palm. “Looks the same.” He licked up the potion that was in his hand. “Tastes the same.”

Then Harry looked at Hermione and said, “If I fall asleep, please ask Dobby to elf- _pop_ me to my bed.” With those words, Harry poured the rest of the potion down his throat. _Ugh_. He quickly discovered that the Goldkeh-spell black ball had not made the potion taste better.

Hermione was watching Harry closely; Luna was smiling dreamily. Fifteen seconds after Harry had drunk his potion (and still was awake), Hermione drank her own potion. Immediately afterwards, Luna drank hers.

A minute later, Harry, Hermione and Luna all were still wide awake, after each of them had drunk a supposed sleeping potion.

“Holy shit,” Harry said. He was wearing a sadistic smile. “My little contest with the Noseless Tosser isn’t so one-sided now, is it?”

“ _Language_ , Harry,” Hermione said, though with a fond smile.

****

**Later, still in the Slytherin Library**

It was Luna who found a spell, Tehlzifrum, to put one’s own memories under something like a Fidelius, but with oneself as the Secret Keeper. (Or as Hermione put it, “It’s a spell to encrypt your head like it’s a hard drive.”)

In the Tehlzifrum spell, the caster would create a passphrase, and legilimency would work on the caster only when performed by someone whom the caster already had told the passphrase. The hearer of the passphrase, just like with the Fidelius Charm, could not speak or write the passphrase; and the passphrase was walled off if the passphrase-hearer was himself hit with a Legilimency spell.

The reason that the Tehlzifrum spell had been forgotten, a thousand years later, was that according to Slytherin’s memoir, the spell required much magical power to cast. A person with less magical power still could cast the spell successfully; but once the caster had encrypted his own memories, actually fetching those memories would occur with almost-amnesiac slowness.

After Harry had encrypted his memories, but before he told Hermione the passphrase ( _Oculus reparo_ ), he let Hermione perform the Legilimency spell on him.

After she stopped the spell, she grinned at him. “Your brain is definitely encrypted. Your mind-palace looks like a giant jigsaw puzzle where someone took a hammer and forced mismatched pieces together.”

Luna encrypted her memories, telling only Harry the passphrase ( _Thestrals_ ). Hermione encrypted her memories, telling only Harry her passphrase ( _Or worse, expelled_ ).

After all three teens had encrypted their own memories, Harry grinned at Hermione and Luna. “This has been a productive day. Today we’ve found a ritual and two spells that will enable me to fight Voldy, and now we won’t have the Whiskered Wanker peeking into our heads anymore.”

Then Harry turned his biggest possible smile on Luna. “You foresaw this, you had Sight of this, we’re here tonight because of _you_ , Luna. All the things we know now, all the things we can do now, they’re all because of _you_.”

Luna smiled a dazzling smile as she took Harry’s hand and Hermione’s hand. Luna said, “You two are the best friends anyone could want.”

When Harry looked over at Hermione, her eyes were bright with unshed tears.

****

**Five minutes later  
** **Elsewhere in Hogwarts Castle**

Harry fully intended to escort Luna back to Ravenclaw Tower, since the time now was close to Luna’s curfew _and_ Luna had been bullied last year. But a minute or two out of Myrtle’s lavatory, Luna stopped in the corridor.

Luna said to the Potters, “Gryffindor Tower is that way”—she pointed—“so you two go on without me.”

“Are you sure?” Hermione asked Luna, looking worried.

“I’m sure,” Luna said. Then with a serene smile, Luna said something that alarmed Harry: “Whatever you hear tonight, or tomorrow morning, don’t worry. _I’ll be fine_.”

Harry did not want to leave Luna. Hermione looked just as torn. So neither Potter took a step towards Gryffindor Tower till Luna shooed them away. Reluctantly, Harry and Hermione left their friend.

As Harry and Hermione walked away, Luna stood in that same spot in the corridor and, so long as Harry and Hermione could see Luna, the blonde did not move. _What is Luna planning?_ Harry wondered.

The Potters proceeded to Gryffindor Tower. But rather than try to gain entrance through the Fat Lady’s portrait, they walked up to the (normally Notice-Me-Not hidden) portrait that was across the corridor from the Fat Lady.

This portrait showed a young woman with blond hair and smiling brown eyes; and a man with red hair and a trimmed red beard. Both the man and the woman were wearing velvet robes with narrow shoulder-covers—meaning, robes from centuries ago.

Harry bowed to the portrait, and Hermione curtseyed. Harry said, “Lord Geoffrey, Lady Heather, good evening. The passphrase is”—Harry lowered his voice—“blue screen of death.”

“Well met and good e’en,” the portrait of Lord Geoffrey Weasley said to the Potters. Portrait-Geoffrey bowed and the portrait of Lady Heather Weasley curtseyed. Lord Geoffrey continued, “Has your eventide been a good one?”

Harry _wanted_ to confide in Lord Geoffrey, he really did; but Harry knew that every portrait in the castle was compelled to report to the headmaster. So Harry replied instead, “Hermione and I and our friend Luna had a pretend-duel, which was fun. But right now, we’re worried about Luna. She said something strange just before she left.”

After Harry and Hermione stepped into the Gryffindor Lord’s Suite, Harry said to his wife, “Luna never plots; she’s the complete opposite of a Slytherin. But so help me, I think Luna has _plotted_ something for tonight.”

****

**Two minutes earlier**

Luna watched her worried friends walk away. Luna waited till she no longer could hear either the Potters’ voices or their footsteps.

Then Luna murmured a countdown: “Two-forty-eight ... 247 ... 246...”

A bit over four minutes later, Luna finished her countdown: “Three ... two ... one... time to go.”

Luna began the walk to the entrance to Ravenclaw Tower. She walked at a normal speed, taking the most commonly walked route from where she stood.

****

**A minute or two later**

Luna’s Sight had told her that five Disillusioned students stood in the same corridor as herself—three Slytherin students and two Ravenclaw students. But now Luna walked alone through the corridor, whilst wearing a dreamy smile and with her eyes locked on the Ravenclaws’ eagle door-knocker. Luna looked neither right nor left, and she seemed relaxed. Luna was acting as though she were unaware that five enemies were lying in wait for her.

When Luna walked past the three Disillusioned Slytherin students, she did not glance their way. When Luna walked past Disillusioned Marietta Edgecombe and Cho Chang, Luna did not look at her bullying housemates either.

Seconds later, Luna heard Cho Chang’s voice behind her: “ _Incarcerous_.” Less than a second later, Luna was bound from shoulders to knees in magical ropes.

 _Showtime_ , Luna thought.

****

An instant later, the voice of Pansy No-Name spoke, also from behind Luna: “ _Diffindo_.”

Luna’s back, between her shoulder blades, was sliced.

Luna was sure that the spell was deliberately _under_ powered; the pain was not much worse than a Dragonpox inoculation. Still, the magical cut _hurt_ —and besides, Luna had a role to play. So Luna screamed.

Pansy spoke again: “That _halfblood_ Potter ruined the lives of many Pureblood families—and you’re _friends_ with him, Loony? You’re friends with Potter’s _mudblood_ friend too. Vinny, Greg, show Loony what happens to _blood-traitors_. Just don’t hurt her _too_ badly.”

By now, tied-up Luna was lying face-down on the stone floor. In the next few seconds, Luna was cut on her arms and legs; Luna’s screams were not completely feigned.

Then Marietta Edgecombe spoke (again, behind Luna): “We don’t like you, Loony. You’re _weird_ —we don’t _like_ weird. You’re friends with Potter—Potter should be friends with _Cho_. You’re friends with Granger, who pretends to be smart—but she’s a _Lion_ and a _mudblood_ , so how smart can she be? _Diffindo_.”

Luna was confused at first—she felt no pain. But then a lock of three-foot-long blond hair was dropped on the floor where Luna could see it. Marietta said, “I could shave you bald now, Loony, and there is _nothing_ you could do to stop me.”

This time, Luna’s scream was loud and heartfelt.

Luna was turned over onto her back, which made her wince in pain. Staring down at her were Cho Chang, Marietta Edgecombe and Pansy No-Name. Standing behind Pansy were Vincent No-Name and Gregory No-Name, each looking unsure about what to do next.

“Look at the crybaby,” Pansy said scornfully.

Luna looked at her and asked, “Where’s Draco?”

Pansy snarled, “Timid ickle Draco-Black-was-Malfoy is scared of Potter, and scared of Sirius Black.” Pansy laughed scornfully. “But we _aren’t_ scared, are we?”

Luna’s other four attackers bragged to Pansy that they were afraid of no one.

“You should be afraid of _me_ ,” a man’s voice said. “ _Stupefy_ - _Stupefy_ - _Stupefy_ - _Stupefy_ - _Stupefy_ , _Incarcerous_ , _Incarcerous_ , _Incarcerous_ , _Incarcerous_ , _Incarcerous_.”

Seconds later, Senior Auror Grenwick was standing astride still-tied-up Luna. “ _Finite incantatem_.” Luna’s ropes vanished. “What is your name, Miss? I need your name for my arrest report.”

Luna said, “ _Arrest?_ You’re going to _arrest_ them? Don’t you need _permission_ for that, here in Hogwarts?”

Grenwick replied, “Director Amelia Bones already has granted me permission; nobody else’s permission is needed or asked for.”

Senior Auror Grenwick escorted Luna to the hospital wing, because the time now was close to curfew. As Luna and the Auror walked through the corridors, five Stunned and rope-bound students floated in the air just ahead of them.

All five detainees were wearing magic-suppressing handcuffs—not that they were awake to notice.

On the way to the hospital wing, Luna and Grenwick passed portrait-frames. Some of the portraits were missing from their frames. Luna wondered if Grenwick realised that this meant that Dumbledore was being told what was happening here.

****

Nigel Grenwick and Miss Lovegood arrived at the hospital wing, he awakened Madam Pomfrey, and he asked Madam Pomfrey to document Miss Lovegood’s injuries before treating those injuries. When Nigel saw Madam Pomfrey’s response to his request, he was annoyed.

In Saint Mungo’s, a request by an Auror to a Healer of “Please document the injury before treating it” would have resulted only in a curt nod. But here and now, Madam Pomfrey’s eyes had widened in shock at the exact same request. Nigel was shocked that Madam Pomfrey was shocked by a “Please document the injury” request.

Also, Madam Pomfrey was staring in shock at Stunned students Chang, Edgecombe, No-Name, No-Name and No-Name, all of whom were wearing magical handcuffs. It was as if Pomfrey had never seen anyone at Hogwarts wearing handcuffs before.

Nigel wondered, _How many crimes have happened in this school that the DMLE never has been called to deal with?_

****

After Nigel spoke with Madam Pomfrey and left Miss Lovegood in her care, he floated the detainees to the Deputy Headmistress’s office, because her office had a Floo fireplace. Nigel already had sent Professor McGonagall a Patronus-message to meet him there. Nigel was in a rush to get these five troublemakers away from Hogwarts before—

“Nigel, your dedication to your work is praiseworthy, but what you are doing is unnecessary,” said Albus Dumbledore.

 _Bloody hell, I was too slow_ , annoyed Nigel thought.

“What I’m doing is _quite_ necessary, headmaster,” Nigel replied to Dumbledore. “These five students attacked a lone girl in the corridor outside the entrance to Ravenclaw. They tied her up, cut her, cut her hair, and made her scream. These are actionable offences.”

“You would give these five children a criminal record that would follow them the rest of their lives?”

Nigel was disgusted. “You’re not worried at all about the girl they hurt, are you? You haven’t even asked her name.”

At this point, Professor McGonagall, wearing a dressing gown, walked up the corridor to the Deputy Headmistress’s office. She walked over to the floating students and frowned. “So they finally went too far,” she murmured.

Meanwhile, Dumbledore was replying to Nigel: “I know Miss Lovegood’s name; I also know that she was seen walking without assistance, so I conclude her injuries were only minor. Nigel, I must _insist_ that you drop this. I shall be sure to take points from Slytherin and Ravenclaw; and the miscreants will be assigned detentions with Severus and Filius.”

“No. I’ve arrested them; they all will be in holding cells before midnight.”

“Can you wait till after I have talked to Miss Lovegood? I am sure I can persuade her to forgive her attackers—in which case, there is no need for you to detain them.”

“Let’s be honest here, Dumbledore. You plan to browbeat her into saving you from the embarrassment you’d feel when the _Daily Prophet_ found out. So you’ll give Miss Lovegood the choice of ‘forgiving’ her attackers, or you’ll promise to make the rest of her time in Hogwarts miserable in a hundred small ways. I refuse to be a party to such. These five still shall be booked tonight and they still shall be tried next Friday, 8th September. And if you have any decency at all, sir, you shall leave Miss Lovegood _the bloody hell_ alone!”

“Your plans are unacceptable, Nigel. Do you really want me to put you through the disgrace of dismissing you as a professor, then setting the wards to block you from ever coming back here?”

Nigel laughed. “Do you really think that you forcing me out of here would be considered a _disgrace?_ In the DMLE, this is considered a _hardship post;_ I’m here only because I lost a lottery!”

Professor McGonagall looked appalled.

Nigel continued, “And I guarantee you that if you dismiss me before my time, Director Bones won’t send out a replacement, and so you’ll go back to hiring the _clowns_ as DADA teacher that Hogwarts has become famous for!”

“Nigel my boy—”

Professor McGonagall asked, “Why is this school considered to be a ‘hardship post,’ Senior Auror Grenwick?”

Nigel chin-pointed at Dumbledore. “Because of _him_. This school is known as the place where Slytherins can’t be arrested, bullies can’t be arrested, Purebloods can’t be arrested and heirs and heiresses can’t be arrested, without the headmaster working to block the arrests. Whom does this leave? Muggle-borns and half-bloods, if they dare to spit in the face of their assailants—your headmaster will stand aside and let us arrest _them_ for assault.”

Dumbledore said pompously, “Those who have made an error during a moment of immaturity, must be allowed to repent. They must not have their lives hurt by unpleasant publicity that is followed by uncaring punishment.”

Nigel ignored the headmaster’s words completely. Instead, he said to Professor McGonagall, “If you would, please professor, I’d like to get these five shoved through your Floo as soon as possible. Sooner I do that, sooner I can start writing up the five arrests and the less sleep I’ll miss.”

Nigel, just before he walked into Professor McGonagall’s office with the first of the five detainees, noticed that Dumbledore looked angry. Nigel was absolutely unbothered to see Dumbledore angry.


	15. The Guy with the Scythe

**The next morning, during breakfast  
** **Sunday, 3rd September**

As soon as Harry and Hermione took seats on a Gryffindor bench, Parvati and Lavender immediately leant towards them.

“Did you hear about your friend Luna?” Lavender asked. “Last night, she was attacked!”

Harry and Hermione whipped their heads about, to look at where Luna always sat at meals. Luna was not there.

Harry would be getting frantic, except for Luna’s cryptic words last night when the trio had parted: “Whatever you hear tonight, or tomorrow morning, don’t worry. I’ll be fine.”

Harry took the Seer-girl’s words to be a prediction. So now Harry worried only _halfway_.

Meanwhile, Parvati said, “Padma says Luna was missing from Ravenclaw all last night. Taken to the Infirmary. Maybe even Saint Mungo’s? Anyway, two other Ravens went missing last night—Cho Chang and Marietta Edgecombe.”

Lavender said, eyes shining, “We hear they were _arrested_ by our DADA teacher.”

Parvati said, “We hear he arrested three Slytherins too. Who are the gits you’d expect, except for Draco.”

Lavender said, “We’re wondering if Draco paid off Auror Grenwick somehow. It’s the sort of thing Draco would try....”

Lavender’s voice trailed off because Luna had walked into the Great Hall, and now was walking towards Harry and Hermione. The closer that the blue-robed blonde got to the Potters, the quieter the Great Hall became.

As soon as Luna got within reach, Harry stood up (with Hermione quickly following); Harry grabbed Luna just below her shoulders and looked her over. As Harry hugged Luna, he asked, “How _are_ you?”

As Hermione hugged Luna, Luna replied, “The attackers only gave me some cuts. Except for what Marietta Edgecombe did, Madam Pomfrey had me healed in five minutes. But Marietta Edgecombe cut off a lock of my hair—Madam Pomfrey couldn't fix that, but suggested that Professor Flitwick might know a charm for one lock of hair.”

“I’m confused,” Harry said. “If you were healed in five minutes, why did you spend the whole night in the infirmary?”

“Madam Pomfrey gave me a choice, because the time was after curfew. I thought that if I went back to the common room, Marietta Edgecombe and Cho Chang might have friends who’d want to finish what they started.”

Then Luna giggled. “You know _your bed_ at the infirmary? The bed with a brass plaque over it? Madam Pomfrey let me sleep in your bed.”

“So what happened?” Harry asked Luna. Parvati and Lavender, Harry noticed, were listening closely.

Luna said, “I was almost at the door-knocker when somehow five people came up from behind me and attacked me.” Luna looked Harry and Hermione in the eyes and added: “I was taken completely by surprise.” Which in context meant _I was not surprised at all_. Luna continued: “I got roped from behind; when I was helpless, the five hit me with _Diffindo_ s. Marietta Edgecombe cutting off a lock of my hair actually bothered me more than what the others did to me.”

Lavender asked, “Who were the Slytherins who attacked you?”

“Pansy was-Parkinson, Vincent was-Crabbe and Gregory was-Goyle.”

Parvati blurted, “No Draco, _really?_ ”

“No. Pansy said Draco refused to come. She called him a coward.”

Hermione asked Luna, “Did they say why they were attacking you?”

Luna answered, “The three Slytherins called me a blood-traitor who was friends with a halfblood and a mu—Muggle-born. Harry, I’m sure it’s pure coincidence that the fathers of all three of those Slytherins were arrested on or after the day of your trial, those fathers were tried for being Death Eaters, they were executed, and their Houses were dissolved.”

Hermione asked, “What about Cho and Marietta?”

Luna smiled dreamily. “They were angry with me because Harry Potter is friends with _me_ , not friends with Cho Chang.”

Harry snorted. “Cho forgets how I met her. Hint: It _wasn’t_ at the Yule Ball.” Harry glanced at Parvati and Lavender. “I met Luna last year at the same time I met Cho, when I rescued Luna from Cho and Marietta bullying her. Does Chang think I’d forget that day and say _Oi, Cho, how about you come hang out with me at the Gryffindor table?_ ”

Then Harry was hit by a thought. “I need to talk to two people. Hermione, Luna, will you come with me?”

After getting two curious nods, Harry marched to the High Table, to where Senior Auror Grenwick was sitting. Grenwick, Harry noticed, was drinking from a coffee mug instead of from a glass or a teacup. Grenwick looked sleepy.

Harry said, “Senior Auror Grenwick, I, Harry Potter the Head of House Potter, thank you for rescuing my friend Miss Luna Lovegood, and for arresting her attackers.” Harry bowed.

Belatedly, Harry noticed that the entire Great Hall had gone silent; even the staff at the High Table were listening.

Grenwick replied, “I was only doing my job, Lord Potter. No thanks are necessary.”

Dumbledore said, “It is unfortunate that Nigel _overreacted_. But what’s done is done.”

Harry glared at the Old Whiskered One. “ ‘Overreacted.’ Right, it’s _much_ better to respond to painful bullying by taking House points, which only Snape and Flitwick would care about; or by assigning detentions, which are mere _inconveniences_ for the bullies. Tell me, headmaster, what extra punishment would you have given the bullies if they had _maimed_ Luna, beyond Madam Pomfrey’s ability to heal? Canceled a Hogsmeade weekend? _Not_ offered them a sherbet lemon?”

Not giving Dumbledore a chance to reply, Harry said “Come, ladies,” then turned away from the High Table. But Harry did not head back to where the fifth-year Gryffindors sat; instead, he walked steadily towards the fifth-year _Slytherins_.

When it became clear where Harry was headed, Snape jumped up and headed towards the Slytherin table as well, with his wand in his hand.

****

**Less than a minute later**

Harry, with puzzled-looking Hermione and serene-looking Luna standing behind him, faced Draco.

Harry said solemnly, “Mr Black, three students from your House and from your year, chose to attack my friend Miss Lovegood. However, you did not take part in the attack. I thank you for this, and I owe you a favour.”

The entire green table, plus one Potions professor, all looked gobsmacked.

Daphne Greengrass said, “Please forgive my confusion, Lord Potter. _None_ of us sitting here this morning, participated in the attack. Why are you thanking only Draco?”

Harry replied, “To answer your question: First, because Pansy named only Draco as someone who had been asked to take part, but had refused to do so. Second, Heiress Greengrass, whilst I am almost certain that _you_ wouldn’t be tempted to go hex my friend Luna, I’m sure Draco was _sorely_ tempted. Yet he did what was right, not what was easy.”

“You know me well, Potter,” Draco said. “Saying ‘no’ last night was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.”

Draco paused, then said, “As for doing me a favour, transfer ten thousand galleons—the price of a new broom—from one of your vaults to my personal vault, then we’re square.”

“Malfoy,” Hermione snapped, “Luna’s injuries took less than five minutes to heal. You’re telling Harry that _not_ being one of the kids injuring her is worth ten thousand galleons? Don’t be greedy.”

“Lady Potter,” Daphne said patiently, “please remember that Draco’s name is not _Malfoy_ anymore, it’s _Black_. As for the ten thousand, Luna is an unmarried Pureblood. It would be a fighting insult to say that her undamaged flesh is worth _less_ than ten thousand.”

Draco glared at Hermione. “Look, hundreds of people in this room know Potter can afford ten thousand. Right now, I desperately _need_ ten thousand. And once Potter transfers the money, he won’t need to worry anymore about when or how I’d claim the favour.”

Daphne nodded as she looked at the trio. “The truly _cunning_ way for Draco to handle that favour would be to wait till Lord Potter’s daughter’s wedding day, when Lord Potter is already distracted, then say, ‘About the favour you said you owe me...’ That day, Lord Potter would agree to even the most ridiculous demand from Draco Black, just to be shot of the extra distraction.”

Harry smirked. “So what you’re saying is that by convoluted Slytherin logic, Draco is doing me a kindness?”

Then Harry said, “Ten thousand galleons is doable. _Dobby!_ ”

What happened next was that Dobby was sent to Draco’s trunk to fetch Draco’s Gringotts key, then was sent to Harry’s trunk to fetch Harry’s trust-vault key, then was sent to Gringotts to work the transfer of gold coins.

What surprised Harry was Dobby, who normally was pleasant company to everyone—this morning, Dobby was nonstop _insulting_ to Draco. But five minutes after Dobby elf- _pop_ ped out of the Great Hall with two keys in hand, Dobby returned, handing back Draco’s key to “the piss-yellow haired, almost-Squib moron.” Dobby informed Draco that he now was ten thousand galleons richer because of “the wonderful Master Harry Potter’s great generosity.”

The Slytherins all stared at Harry as if he had grown a second head. Slytherins, it seemed, were used to house-elves who gave begrudging obedience, not enthusiastic devotion.

Hermione shook her head ruefully. Luna smiled dreamily.

Snape, who had hovered nearby but who had not interrupted, said, “Potter, what you just did was something your mother would have done.” Snape looked like he was sucking on a lemon as he said it.

****

**After breakfast**

Senior Auror-slash-Professor Nigel Grenwick stopped Susan Bones as she and Hannah Abbott were about to walk out of the Great Hall. Nigel said, “Miss Bones, I wish to speak to you, please.”

Miss Bones raised an eyebrow. She undoubtedly recognised that Nigel had not spoken to her in a _Let’s talk about the weather_ tone of voice; but rather in a _Where were you on the night of the murder?_ tone of voice.

Miss Bones said to Miss Abbott, “You go on. I’ll catch up with you.” Miss Bones then looked expectantly at Nigel.

Nigel put up an Auror Silencing Charm, because Dumbledore was watching Nigel and Miss Bones too closely for Nigel’s liking. Then Nigel said to Miss Bones, “You have at least one way to instantly communicate with your Aunt Amelia, anytime, anywhere. How many times have you reported a crime to your aunt, in the four years you’ve been at Hogwarts?”

Miss Bones shook her head. “I’ve never done that.”

“In your first year, the DADA professor died in odd circumstances. Why did you never tell your aunt about his strange death?”

Now Miss Bones’s eyes went glassy. In a monotone voice, she answered, “I did not think this was something that the DMLE needed to be bothered with. Besides, I was sure that Headmaster Dumbledore could handle the problem.”

Alarm bells went off in Nigel’s brain, but none of this showed on his face. With no change of expression, he said—

“In your second year, someone calling himself ‘the Heir of Slytherin’ was running around Hogwarts, and students were being turned into stone statues. Why did you not inform your aunt about this?”

Again Miss Bones’s response was a combination of glassy eyes and a monotone voice: “I did not think this was something that the DMLE needed to be bothered with. Besides, I was sure that Headmaster Dumbledore could handle the problem.”

Nigel continued his questioning, and he continued to be unhappy with the answers that Miss Bones gave him—

At the Hogwarts Express at the beginning of Miss Bones’s third year, Harry Potter was attacked by a Dementor; Director Bones heard nothing from Miss Bones. In Miss Bones’s fourth year, four children were sent to the bottom of the Black Lake in an enchanted sleep, without the children’s consent or their parents’ consent; Director Bones heard nothing from Miss Bones.

After Nigel ended the Auror Silencing Charm and let Miss Bones go her way, he sent a message-Patronus to Director Bones—

 _Your niece needs to go to Saint Mungo’s for an OPCC &I scan. My gut tells me Susan has been Confundused by Dumbledore to not report criminal activity to you, even the most egregious crimes_.

****

**Ten minutes later**

Amelia Bones, Director of the DMLE, was a busy woman. Despite this, as soon as she could manage to get away from her office, Amelia Apparated to Hogwarts. She spoke briefly with Grenwick, then she pulled Susan out of class to take her to Saint Mungo’s Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries, for an OPCC&I scan.

During the brief time that Amelia was at Hogwarts, the headmaster was lucky that he and Amelia did not meet. Amelia was _sure_ that the whiskered old man had done something nefarious to her niece.

Indeed, a Healer at Saint Mungo’s soon confirmed to Amelia that Susan had been hit at the beginning of her first year with a powerful Confundus Charm. Whilst the effects of this charm obviously benefited Dumbledore, it could not be _proven_ that Dumbledore was the person to cast the charm—the charm’s magical signature somehow had been erased.

****

**Meanwhile**

There was a space between the greenhouses and the edge of the Forbidden Forest that was beyond the Hogwarts wards. It was there, hopefully unobserved, that Harry, Hermione and Luna learnt to Apparate.

It took the trio only two hours to go from being complete ignoramuses about Apparation, to reading a brochure that Hermione had, to zipping anywhere in Great Britain at will. _Silently_.

Oh, there would have been a small risk in learning to Apparate, had the trio been the regular fourteen- and fifteen-year-olds whom they had been before yesterday morning’s power-boost ritual. According to the brochure on Apparation that Hermione had pulled out of her beaded bag, if a child with an immature magical core would try to Apparate, the result would be—well, the book did not exactly say what the result would be, but the book said in polite language that the child would die, and all witnesses to the child’s “arrival” would vomit immediately.

But it turned out that when a fourteen-year-old and two fifteen-year-olds had Founders-level magical power, all those pesky problems with Apparation went away. (Except for Apparating whilst drunk, but Harry, Hermione and Luna had no intention of ever doing such a thing.)

Whilst in theory Hermione now could apply for an Apparation license on 19th September (her sixteenth birthday), she had no intention of obtaining such a license. If Hermione would get an Apparation license at the Ministry, considering how many Death Eater spies worked there, she might as well send Lord Voldemort an owl-letter saying _Guess what I can do now!_

It was Harry who made a happy discovery about Apparation: either _Hogwarts: A History_ was wrong, or else it was indeed impossible to Apparate within Hogwarts—when someone did not have Founders-level magical power. But for the trio, Apparating within Hogwarts was dead easy.

However, whilst almost all of Hogwarts Castle and its grounds now could be instantly reached by the three overpowered teens, the Room of Requirement still had to be entered by following the same rule that everyone else had to follow.

****

**After lunch**

The trio claimed the Room of Requirement and set it to be a dueling-practise room. The trio was there, hidden away from the rest of the world, as they learnt through experience and practise about their new magical powers.

At one point, Luna sent Harry _Rictusempra_ (the Tickling Charm); Harry defended against it with _Kedavrub Protego_ , which reflected the Tickling Charm back to Luna. But then Luna put up her own _Kedavrub Protego_ , which reflected the Tickling Charm back towards Harry.

Hermione, after seeing the Tickling Charm bounce back and forth, and back and forth, laughed in delight. “My dad would say this is like a game of Pong.”

Minutes later, Harry, Hermione and Luna were shooting spells to defend against, and to attack, spellcasting dummies. A man’s voice behind the three friends asked, “Please, may I interrupt?”

Harry turned round—and immediately threw himself between the girls and the newcomer.

The newcomer had no flesh at all. The skeleton-man was wearing a cowled black robe. The cowl covered most of the skull; but the eyes-less, nose-less, ears-less, lips-less face faced Harry. Two large bone-hands held a scythe that had a handle that was as tall as a man; the curved blade of the scythe was long enough to penetrate the front of a man’s body, then to stick out the back. The blade’s edge was sharp, and the blade narrowed to a deadly point.

“You’re Death,” Harry said. “Whom have you come for?”

Harry decided that if Death had come for Hermione or Luna, Harry would stop the spectre by any means possible—even if this meant that Harry himself died.

The cowled skeleton replied, “I’m Death, yes, but I prefer the name _Thanatos_. I’ve come for _you_ , Harry James Potter—”

“No, please!” Hermione begged.

“—but not for the usual reason.”

“Huh?” Harry said.

Thanatos said, “Are you familiar with ‘The Story of the Three Brothers’ in _The Tales of Beedle the Bard?_ The three Deathly Hallows in the story are real.”

Luna gasped.

Thanatos added, “The three Deathly Hallows belonged to the three Peverell brothers.”

Harry and Hermione did not understand what Thanatos’s statement meant, so Luna had to recap ‘The Story of the Three Brothers’ for them.

Thanatos continued from where he had left off: “First, the Resurrection Stone in that story now is mounted on a ring—the House-Gaunt Head of House ring. This ring is in the Potter family vault after you removed its horcrux. Second, you inherited the invisibility cloak. Third, yesterday you did accidental-magic summoning of the Elder Wand from Albus Dumbledore, winning the wand’s allegiance in the process—but a few minutes later, you _gave the Elder Wand back_ to Dumbledore. However, the Elder Wand’s allegiance has stayed with you.”

“ _Merlin_ ,” breathed Luna.

Thanatos faced Harry. “What does all this mean? For one minute yesterday, you possessed all three Deathly Hallows—so _you_ , Harry James Potter, have been the Master of Death since that minute.”

Hermione and Luna looked as stunned as Harry felt.

Thanatos continued, “Trelawney’s prophecy still is in effect, so Tom Riddle still can kill you and I cannot change this—”

“ _Brilliant_ ,” Harry said sarcastically.

“—but if _you_ kill _him_ , I decree that you shall not die till 2980 unless you will it; your fate shall be changed accordingly.”

Hermione said, “You’ll let Harry live to be a thousand years old? I’m sorry, but if he winds up as broken-down as ‘Mad-Eye’ Moody, this won’t be much of a prize.”

Thanatos looked at Harry. “Before the end, your body will heal from every injury; until you have passed your 999th birthday, you will appear to be in perfect health and never older than thirty.”

“Wow,” Harry said.

“Let me see, what else? As Master of Death, all deadly creatures, including Muggle deadly creatures, snakes and dragons will not attack you and will obey you. To werewolves, you are the ultimate Alpha Werewolf. Finally, you can grant ten people a long life and peaceful death; their fates shall be changed accordingly.”

Harry said, “I don’t wish to seem ungrateful, but why all the nice gifts? Collecting all three Deathly Hallows was an accident, something I did because I had to, not something I tried to do. What’s the big deal?”

Thanatos answered, “Let’s start with the Elder Wand. Throughout the centuries, many wizards have coveted the Elder Wand and its mighty magical power. You’re worthy of the Master of Death honour because when you had won the allegiance of the Elder Wand—by accident, not by theft or murder as usual—you gave the Elder Wand away. You collected the Resurrection Stone as part of another project; you didn’t seek out the Stone. The cloak you inherited. You are the Master of Death by accident, without ever _seeking_ to become the Master of Death. None of those other would-be Masters of Death could come close to claiming this.”

“Wow,” said Hermione.

Thanatos’s voice sneered, “Also, Tom Riddle, Mr flees-from-death himself, _offends_ me, so I’ll happily rig your fight with him in your favour. I want your fight against him and his minions, Harry James Potter, to be as one-sided as if an unstubbled youth battled a career soldier.”

Harry smiled a crooked smile. “With me as the career soldier, hopefully, not as the unstubbled youth.”

Luna said dreamily, “You’re no unstubbled youth, Harry Potter. Give yourself a week and, even at fifteen, you’d have the beginnings of a roguish beard.”

Hermione looked sideways at Luna, but said nothing.

Harry said to Thanatos, “So I can choose ten people who will get a long life and a peaceful death? Here’s my list: Hermione Potter, Luna Lovegood, Dan and Emma Granger, Amelia Bones, Neville Longbottom, Dobby the house-elf, George and Fred Weasley, and Pomona Sprout.”

Thanatos said, “I will notify the Fates immediately about those ten. Kick Tom Riddle’s arse, Harry James Potter. Fulfill the Prophecy, astride Riddle’s cooling corpse.” So saying, the incarnation of death vanished.

****

**1:47 p.m, still in the Room of Requirement**

After Thanatos left, the trio had gone back to protecting themselves and each other from murderous dummies.

Now Luna _gasped_ , then shouted, “Harry Potter! Hermione Potter! Stop the training!”

Panting, sweaty Harry vanished the dummies, then asked, “Luna, what’s wrong?”

Luna stared at Hermione in horror. “The headmaster has ordered Professor Snape to kill your parents today!”


	16. Showdown in the Grangers’ House

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There are two explanations for why canon-Hermione in sixth year was such a rhymes-with-witch to Harry.
> 
> 1) She was slipped potions beginning in the summer of 1995, including Indifference potion that was keyed to Harry.
> 
> 2) After the Department of Mysteries disaster, canon-Hermione thought, _Being friends with Harry almost got me killed. I’d better keep my distance from now on._ Also, during the summer of 1995, during the weeks when Hermione and the Weasleys were at Grimmauld Place but Harry was in Durzkaban, Molly kept saying, “What you kids did was foolish and dangerous.” Hearing those words again and again would have affected Hermione’s thinking, at least a bit.
> 
> Whilst I believe the first theory (and have written fanfics accordingly), the second theory also could be true. In this chapter, Albus carries out a scheme that, if it worked, would likely sour Hermione on Harry enough that she would divorce him—soulmate bond or no soulmate bond.

**Ten minutes earlier: 1:37 p.m  
** **Still Sunday, 3rd September  
** **The headmaster’s office, Hogwarts SOW &W**

As Severus stepped through the door, he said emotionlessly, “You wished to see me, headmaster?”

Resentful Severus thought, _I have an entire day free to do potions experiments, and you wish to interrupt this with something silly and trivial?_

Albus slid a scrap of parchment across his desk. On the parchment was written _Daniel and Emma Granger, Number 24, Churchill Way, Crawley, West Sussex_.

Albus said, “Miss Granger—correction: _Lady Potter_ —has become a bad influence on Harry. She has become independent, and disrespectful to me. Under her influence, Harry has become independent and disrespectful to me. I want to convince Hermione to remove herself from Harry’s life.”

“By killing her parents?” Severus asked. He was having a hard time believing what he was hearing.

“By killing her parents,” Albus said, “then setting the house on fire, whilst putting the _Morsmordre_ in the sky so that the DMLE is convinced that Death Eaters committed the murders.”

“You truly want me to murder the parents of a current Hogwarts student,” Severus said.

Albus shrugged. “They’re Muggles. If their deaths further the Greater Good, such a tragedy is regrettable but necessary.”

“And how,” Severus asked, in a voice that he tinged with sarcasm, “do their deaths achieve the Greater Good?”

Albus’s eyes twinkled. “Afterwards, I will point out to Lady Potter that if she had not become so close to Harry, her parents would not have been killed. I then will say, ‘My dear, it is likewise dangerous for _you_ to be near Harry. For your own safety, you should keep your distance from him.’ I predict that Hermione promptly will distance herself from Harry, which is best for him. Harry, I guarantee you, will blame himself for the Grangers’ deaths—and will become much more _manageable_ as a result. In short, I intend to convince Hermione Potter to divorce Harry—which is for her good and is for the Greater Good.”

Severus walked over to the headmaster’s desk, picked up the scrap of parchment that gave the address of Hermione Potter’s Muggle parents, and pocketed the parchment in his robes. He said, “I easily can pass this address to the Dark Lord, then the Death Eater attack on the Granger parents will happen _for real_. But am I correct that you do not want this?”

“Tom would not be _surgical_ ,” Albus replied. “He might kill a dozen other Muggle families on the same street. The more other Muggles that die when the Grangers die, the less emotional impact it would have for Hermione Potter that _her_ parents are dead.”

“Finally,” Severus asked, “why _me_ as the Grangers’ assassin? Why not ‘Mad-Eye’? Why not Mundungus?”

“Alas, Alastor’s friendship with me has cooled after the Triwizard Tournament debacle. Mundungus is useless for anything requiring _delicacy_. He’s much more likely to set _himself_ on fire than to set the Grangers’ house on fire. As for you—Severus, do I really need to detail my reasons?”

“Yes,” Severus said stiffly, “please explain to me why _I_ must become the murderer of two Muggles who have done me no harm.”

Albus’s eyes twinkled again. “Why, because you _owe_ me. You’re not in Azkaban, weeping due to nearby Dementors, because of me. You still have a teaching job, despite complaints by students and parents, because of me. At times I have _Confundus_ ed members of the Board of Governors, in order to save your position. I give your Snakes only light punishment for their misdeeds, or no punishment at all. But tell me No now, and my generosity _ends_.”

“ _Fine_ ,” Severus said. “It’s Sunday afternoon now. I’ll see you at breakfast tomorrow, if not earlier.”

Severus swept out of Albus’s office, his robes billowing.

****

Severus was a skilled Occlumens—which meant, amongst other things, they he had a superb memory. He could remember pages of text, recalling even the page-numbers, that he had read as a sixth-year. So a mere glance at the parchment was all he needed to put the Granger parents’ house address into his brain. Fifty years from now, Severus could tell anyone who asked where Hermione Potter’s parents had lived in 1995.

But Severus was smart enough to see twenty different ways that Dumbledore’s ordered assassination could go pear-shaped—then it would be _Severus_ , not _Dumbledore_ , who would be wearing magic-suppressing handcuffs till either he was tossed into Azkaban or was Kissed.

Severus, a man who was usually miserable, decided that now he would share the misery—if Severus was arrested, he would ensure Dumbledore was arrested too.

Severus did not destroy the incriminating scrap of parchment; instead, it stayed in his pocket.

****

**1:58 p.m.  
** **Granger & Granger Dental, Crawley**

Harry and Hermione, and Dan and Emma, all were holding a deadly serious conversation. Luna, meanwhile, was wearing a dreamy smile and was looking about at _everything_. Luna was staring at the dental chair, and the equipment that surrounded it, with as much fascination as the Grangers would feel as they stared at the spellcastings in a seventh-year Charms classroom.

Dan Granger asked Luna, “You really can see the future? What did you see?”

“I don’t see the ‘future,’ singular, Daniel Granger,” Luna said. “Originally I saw three futures. In all three, when you two return to your house, you find Professor Snape waiting there. You react to seeing him three different ways.” Luna paused, then said, “All three times, the end result is the same, Daniel Granger.”

Hermione said, “So when you finish work this evening, Mum and Dad, don’t go home till we tell you all is well. Enjoy a leisurely restaurant dinner, or spend the night in a hotel or an inn. Let _us_ handle Professor Snape.”

“What are you planning to do?” Emma asked.

Harry answered, “Make sure Snape doesn’t _ever_ hurt you. And I’ll do _whatever it takes_ to achieve this.”

Then Harry said, “Speaking of which. I apologise in advance for sounding silly, because I’m only fifteen and you two are much older than fifteen, but—”

Harry now drew his wand and pointed it at the ceiling.

“I, Harry James Potter, the Head of House Potter, hereby declare Daniel Granger, Emma Granger and Luna Lovegood as under the protection of House Potter. So mote it be.”

Light flashed in the room, startling the elder Grangers. Luna and Hermione both hugged Harry.

****

**Seconds later  
** **The Granger house, Crawley**

The three teenagers silently Apparated into the house’s garage, on the theory that in none of the obsolete futures that Luna had seen, was Snape waiting in the garage when the Grangers arrived home.

Hermione drew her wand, and moved it slowly in a horizontal half-circle. When she stopped moving, her wand was pointing at a wall of the garage, at an angle. Hermione said quietly, “There is one magical person in the house, and my wand is pointing at him. If I had to guess, Professor Snape is standing or sitting in the sitting room, positioned so he can see my parents entering from the garage.”

Harry said quietly, “So to review: Snape doesn’t know your parents’ work address, or else he doesn’t want to go there, so he’s waiting in their house so he can murder them in the house. _We_ know he’s in the house, but _he_ doesn’t know we’re in the garage.”

Hermione nodded. “So what’s the plan? I suggest we send a message-patronus to Director Bones and let her handle everything.”

Harry said, “I have a different plan. This door”—he pointed to a door in the garage’s left-side wall—“goes into the house?”

Hermione nodded.

“I plan to get Snape focussed on this door, and I want you two to Apparate to someplace in the house so that when Snape is looking at this door, you two are _behind_ him.”

“Harry James Potter, tell me you’re not planning to walk through this door and duel Professor Snape.”

Harry gave Hermione a crooked grin. “Okay, I won’t tell you. But seriously, as soon as we’re all in the same room with Snape, move to make an equilateral triangle surrounding him, so he’s not between any two of us.”

“ _Honestly_ , Harry, we should let the Aurors handle him. If you go breezing through that door, the result will be a _battle to the death_.”

“ _No_ , Hermione. _Stop_. I am _Lord_ Potter now, and Snape plans to kill _my_ in-laws. The _problem_ is mine, not the DMLE’s; so the _solution_ will be mine, not the DMLE’s.”

“I don’t like this, Harry!”

“I know,” he replied soothingly.

Luna said, “Listen to him, Hermione Potter. Harry putting that posh ring on his finger has changed the game—for both of you.”

Then Harry smiled an evil grin. “Besides, I know something that Snape _doesn’t_ know.”

Harry walked over to Hermione and murmured in her ear.

“Are you sure?” Hermione asked. Her eyes begged Harry for reassurance.

He gave Hermione a crooked grin. “It’s part of the Prophecy, so you gotta believe it, right?”

Luna asked dreamily, “After all, when has Sybill Trelawney ever gotten a prediction wrong?”

****

**Seconds later**

Hermione and Luna in the garage Disillusioned themselves—

“I love you, Harry,” said Hermione’s disembodied voice.

—then presumably Hermione silently Side-Along Apparated Luna into the house somewhere.

Harry counted backwards from sixty, then pressed the button on the wall to raise the garage door. The motor that pulled up the garage door made much noise.

Harry wondered whether Snape might open the door into/out of the house and enter the garage, but this did not happen.

Once the garage door was up, Harry counted to twenty, then pressed the button again, now intending to shut the garage door.

Again the process was noisy.

Once the garage door was shut, Harry waited five more seconds. Contrary to Harry’s expectation, Snape did not enter the garage during those five seconds.

But instead of Harry opening the door that led into the house and walking through this door, Harry Disillusioned himself, then silently Apparated to just inside the door.

But in choosing stealth, Harry gave up shielding. Harry arrived just inside the door with himself camouflaged, but with no _Protego_ shield up.

****

Harry now was inside the Granger house. The door to the garage was an inch behind Harry’s camouflaged shoulder blades. Ten feet to his left was a wall; set into that wall were the front door, and curtained windows that overlooked the front garden. Immediately to Harry’s right was the staircase that led up to the house’s first floor and the family bedrooms located up there.

Harry, after looking about, quietly stepped forwards till his right foot was by the bottom stair. Now he could see the sitting room, the dining room, the entrance to the kitchen, and the guest bedroom where Harry had lived for eleven days last month.

In the sitting room was a television and VCR, which were set near the wall that the sitting room shared with the kitchen. Facing the television and VCR in the sitting room was a sofa. Standing behind the sofa, indirectly lit by light from the front windows, was Severus Snape. Snape was facing Harry, but showed no awareness that camouflaged Harry was in the room.

Fifteen feet away from Harry, the Potions professor stood with his wand-arm’s forearm across his chest. His knuckles were white where his hand gripped his wand. His face showed disgust—at the Grangers? At himself? At Dumbledore?

Snape and camouflaged Harry seemingly were alone in the sitting room; Hermione and Luna either were not in the sitting room or they were perfectly camouflaged.

Snape’s wand was not, at the moment, in attack position. But when Harry dis-Disillusioned himself, _his_ wand definitely _was_ in attack position. Harry, with his right arm fully extended and his wand pointed at Snape’s chest, yelled, “ _Snape, drop your wand!_ ”

****

Harry continued, “Drop your wand _now_. You’re in the house of my in-laws, who are under my protection.”

Snape’s look was murderous—What else was new?—but he brought his arm and his wand down to his side.

Harry relaxed a bit.

Snape said, “I shall not duel you today, Potter. I made a vow to protect you.”

Harry got battle-ready again. “You expect me to believe that?”

“I made that vow as I held your dead mother in my arms. You were in your playpen, two feet away, crying at the time. You had had your scar for only minutes, and the Dark Lord’s robes and wand lay on the floor near your playpen.”

“Wait— _what?_ ” Of all the things that Harry had ever expected Snape to say during a deadly duel, Harry had never imagined _this_.

Harry said bitterly, “Whatever you vowed, it was _cunningly_ worded. It hasn’t stopped you from insulting me, punishing me needlessly and finding new ways to make my life miserable, has it? Now drop your wand. I mean it.”

Snape did so; Harry breathed a sigh of relief. Snape said, “I hate you, Potter, be sure of it. But I shall never kill you.”

Harry began to walk towards the place on the carpet where Snape’s wand lay, intending to pick up the wand. It did not occur to Harry till hours later that he could just as easily have _Accio_ ’d Snape’s wand.

Harry had taken two steps forwards when Snape scowled. “Are you using _Legilimency_ on me, Potter?”

Suddenly Hermione appeared, behind Snape and to his right. Hermione yelled, “You’d gladly kill my parents, just so Harry would feel _guilty?_ ”

“Be silent, mudblood,” Snape sneered. “Nobody wants to hear from you.”

“ _‘Mudblood’?_ Lily was _right_ to end your friendship.”

Suddenly Snape’s wand, which Harry had not yet taken in hand yet, flew up off the carpet and into Snape’s hand.

As the potions-master spun round, his wand-arm came up. He sneered, “Lily’s son’s _wife?_ Outside my vow!” He made a slashing motion towards Hermione with his wand as he yelled, “ _Sectumsempra!_ ”

Then Snape flipped his wand backwards, so that it was pointing at Harry. “ _Protego_.”

Luna appeared, even as Snape was rotating in place. As Snape fired his curse at Hermione, Luna fired the Shield Charm at Hermione. Luna’s spell got there first, but it was a close thing.

Snape’s curse hit Luna’s _Protego_ shield that appeared in front of Hermione; the _Sectumsempra_ curse vanished.

“ _Lancia! Lancia!_ ” Harry yelled.

Severus Snape’s heart was holed by two overpowered 9-millimeter Piercing Hexes that shattered Snape’s _Protego_ shield. Snape limply dropped to the carpet.

The three teenagers walked up close to the lifeless body. Hermione said, “My parents will kill me if _Scourgify_ doesn’t lift bloodstains out of the carpet.”

****

It was an Auror that found a scrap of parchment in the dead man’s pocket—a scrap of parchment with the Grangers’ house address written on it.

Harry said, “Aurors, I recognise the handwriting. _Dumbledore_ wrote this!”

Because the crime at first was being treated as a Muggle home invasion by one magical, only two Aurors had been sent out to investigate. Now the Auror Second Class looked at the Auror First Class and said, “I think we need to bring the Director in on this.”

****

(Before Amelia Bones could talk to Harry, first she had to deal with a stupid letter. Mafalda Hopkirk’s successor at the Improper Use of Magic Office had sent Luna Lovegood a “You’re expelled, and we’re going to snap your wand” letter, whilst Luna was at the Grangers’ house with Harry and Hermione. Now eyes-rolling Amelia jammed Luna’s letter into a pocket.)

Amelia Bones said to Harry, “Tell me how you know what Albus Dumbledore’s handwriting looks like.”

Harry said, “When I was left in a basket on the Dursleys’ doorstep in November 1981”—Hermione huffed in outrage—“also in my basket was a letter from Dumbledore to Aunt Petunia. I’ve read this letter at least a dozen times—Dumbledore’s handwriting is as _flamboyant_ as he is. When you arrested the Dursleys last month, you collected the letter as evidence. Later, you showed the letter at their trial.”

Amelia’s grin was vampiric. “ _Gotcha_ , Dumbledore.”

****

Eventually Director Bones left, the Aurors left, and the corpse of Severus Snape left. Director Bones, before she left, had filled three memory phials with the trio’s three memories of what had happened in the Granger house. Director Bones had expressed surprise that, again as on 2nd August, Luna Lovegood had _seen_ a crime happen before it happened.

Director Bones had waived the three teens’ fines for Apparating without a license, and had agreed not to mention in any of her written reports that the trio could Apparate. However, she had warned the teens that such information might come out at Dumbledore’s trial.

Now the three magical teenagers were alone in Hermione’s parents’ house, less than an hour after one of the three teenagers had killed a professor—a professor who had tried to kill a different member of the trio.

Harry said flippantly to Hermione and Luna, “Dammit, I had to go kill Snape, didn’t I? And after I’d already written _four feet_ about Snape in my written complaint to the Board of Governors.”

After Harry said this, Hermione gave him a hug.

Hermione discovered, to her relief, that an overpowered Cleaning Charm did indeed remove bloodstains from carpet. Which was good—Snape’s corpse had bled out to make a big red puddle on the sitting-room carpet.

Harry hugged Hermione, for not being killed by Snape’s attack. Harry hugged Luna, for saving Hermione’s life. Luna and Hermione each hugged Harry, who had had to kill a man in defence of his wife. All in all, there was much hugging after the Aurors left and after Hermione cleaned the carpet, which was when reactions to the day’s events set in.

Then Harry said, “I’ve an idea, but Hermione might not like it.”

Hermione asked cautiously, “What’s your idea?”

Harry said, “Something quirky has happened with the calendar this year. We started school on 1st September, as we always do. This year, 1st September fell on a Friday. The next morning, we got our timetables, as always happens at breakfast time on the 2nd. But since 2nd September fell on a Saturday this year, getting our timetables was _all_ that happened—we had no classes yesterday. Today, 3rd September, is Sunday—again, no classes. This year, we three have been at Hogwarts for three days, and none of us has homework.”

Hermione put on her know-it-all voice and said, “This happens only four times every twenty-eight years.” Then she switched over to a worried voice: “You still haven’t told us your idea, Harry.”

Harry said, “It’s five hours till sundown, and all three of us have our time free. I feel like Apparating to wherever Tom Riddle and his big snake are at, and killing them. Want to come with me?”


	17. The One Approaches

Hermione said in a worried voice: “You still haven’t told us your idea, Harry.”

Harry said, “It’s five hours till sundown, and all three of us have our time free. I feel like Apparating to wherever Tom Riddle and his big snake are at, and killing them. Want to come with me?”

Hermione wanted to yell at the top of her lungs, _Are you barking mad?_ The eleven-year-old girl who had boarded the firstie train, four years and two days ago, would have lectured Harry for ten full minutes about why attacking Voldemort _now_ , _today_ , without the entire DMLE at his back, was the most _foolish_ idea imaginable.

But Hermione was no longer this bossy know-it-all anymore. She had learnt that sometimes she was wrong, and she had learnt that Harry usually had good ideas of his own.

So now Hermione took a deep breath, willed herself calm ( _Ha!_ ) and said to Harry and Luna, “Please share your thoughts.”

Luna was wearing her usual dreamy, serene smile. “With my Seer smoke gone, I say without conceit that if I’m at Harry Potter’s side today, he can’t fail. But his victory would feel hollow without _you_ there to see it, Hermione Potter.”

Harry said, “Let me explain my reasoning, ’Mione. The Prophecy says ‘for neither can live while the other survives.’ I think the word _live_ is a play on the word _survives_. What I think this line means is ‘for neither can stand it, can tolerate it, whilst the other stays alive.’ Now Voldy has tried to kill me five times already—he’s clearly fulfilling _his_ part of the line. But why can’t the line go the other way, with _me_ hunting down _Voldy_ because _I_ can’t stand _him_ living? After all, until I kill Voldy or he kills me, I’m treading water, I can’t plan for _any_ kind of future. This is _damned_ annoying. What I’m about to say sounds suicidal though it’s not, but I’d rather _die today_ than stand around and wait—and wait and wait—for Voldy’s _sixth_ attack on me. On the other hand, my here-and-now self has one advantage over me much older: ol’ Tommy is _not_ expecting me to attack today.”

Hermione said, “But Harry, you could be killed. Can you honestly tell me that at fifteen, you’re ready for him?”

“Look, he has a fifty-three-years head start on me. If I waited till I had crow’s-feet and a receding hairline, I wouldn’t be any more ready for him than I am now. Anyway, right now all but a few of his loyal followers are dead or in Azkaban—he’s _weak_ now. But every day I find excuses to delay, is a day that Voldemort gets more followers and more money in his vaults. _Please_ , Hermione, Luna is right. She and I—and you—have Founders-level power now, so I’m sure we’ll win if we make a surprise attack _today_. But it won’t _feel_ like a win to me unless _you_ , Hermione Jean Granger-Potter, _see_ me win.”

Hermione thought about Harry’s words. Then she said, “You mentioned our ‘Founders-level power.’ If Voldemort took on Godric, Rowena and Helga, he wouldn’t last ten minutes.”

Harry grinned at Hermione. “ _Exactly_. Put aside your fear for a moment, and think about _everything_ you know about Voldy and his Death Eaters, and _everything_ you know about the three of us. Do you really think Voldy would win? Or when you put aside your fear, don’t you see all the advantages _I_ have?”

Hermione stepped up to Harry and snogged him mightily. When she broke the kiss, she said, “Let’s go vanquish the Dark Lord. But first, I need to ring up my parents.”

****

Hermione walked into the Granger-house kitchen, to where a telephone hung on the wall. Harry and a curious Luna followed. (During a previous visit to the Granger house, the telephone had been pointed out to Luna, but she had never seen the telephone being used.)

Hermione punched in the telephone number for Granger & Granger Dental, as Luna watched closely.

Silence passed for several seconds, then Hermione said into the mouthpiece, “Hello, Sylvia, this is Hermione. May I speak to either of my parents, please? I need only a minute.”

Soon after this, Hermione announced to her audience in the kitchen, “I’ve been put on hold; now I’m listening to music. ‘I’m He-ne-ry the Eighth I am, He-ne-ry the Eighth I am, I am’—could be worse. I am _utterly sick_ of ‘Dancing Queen.’ Hopefully I won’t— _oi_ , Mum.”

Then Hermione’s voice turned overpowered-Cheering-Charm cheerful: “The three of us took care of _the problem_ , so it’s okay for you and Dad to come home tonight. And don’t worry about the carpet. I used a great spell, and you can’t even tell where the puddle of blood was.”

Several seconds of silence passed, then Hermione said into the telephone, “Mum, are you still there? Hello?”

****

**Ten minutes later**

The trio had realised that if they were going to battle Tom Riddle and his Death Eaters, they should have a way to turn invisible at times—whilst making sure that invisible wizards could not sneak up on them.

All three of them knew that someone who was Disillusioned by the charm _Excaeco_ could have that effect undone with the _Homenum revelio_ spell. A minute of experimentation revealed that regular _Homenum revelio_ did not work on the Parseltongue-version Disillusionment charm, _§Excaeco§_ , but _§Homenum revelio§_ worked. Furthermore, the Parseltongue reveal-person spell, _§Homenum revelio§_ , undid both _Excaeco_ and _§Excaeco§_.

The first shocker of the afternoon was discovering that it did not matter whether Harry or Hermione cast _Excaeco_ or _§Excaeco§_ , on themselves or on each other—Luna could see him (or her), as though the Disillusionment charm had not been cast. Or rather, Luna could see the Disillusioned person’s aura.

Harry got curious whether Luna could see him when he was under his Invisibility Cloak. So Harry had Dobby fetch the Invisibility Cloak, and Harry threw it over his head. This led to Harry’s second shocker of the afternoon: his Invisibility Cloak had been _doctored_.

A cotton thread, which was the exact same silver colour as the other threads of the Cloak, had been sewn into the Cloak. This cotton thread had a Tracking Charm laid on it, which Luna could aura-see.

Once Harry and Hermione knew, with Luna’s guidance, where the impostor thread had to be, they eventually managed to spot the thread. The cotton thread was slightly wider than the other threads of the Cloak, and the cotton thread reflected light differently.

Anyway, once Harry vanished the cotton thread in the Invisibility Cloak, Luna, as Harry hoped, no longer could aura-see any part of Harry when he was under the Cloak. (Presumably, Voldemort, Dumbledore and Thanatos now could not see Harry under the Invisibility Cloak either.)

****

**A minute later**

Hermione said to the other two, “You know why the Death Eaters wear those black robes and frightening masks?”

Harry replied, “To scare the people who see them.”

Hermione said, “I have an idea. We should try something like that.”

Harry said, “Hermione? Three teenagers are not going to scare Tommy and his Death Eaters.”

Hermione’s grin was evil. “I don’t want to _scare_ them so badly they make mistakes, I want to _annoy_ them so badly they make mistakes.” Hermione aimed her wand at Luna and cast the Colour-Change Charm on Luna’s clothes and her radish earrings.

Hermione explained, “Remember in the basilisk room, when we kept shooting Stinging Hexes at Luna, and _none_ of them hit? _Annoying_ , wasn’t it?”

Luna said serenely, “So your plan, Hermione Potter, is to have all the Death Eaters try to kill _me_ instead of trying to kill Harry Potter? _Merlin_ , it will be quite an exciting tale to tell my grandchildren.”

The trio did a little more planning, then Luna did some trick with seeing futures that meant that she could exactly locate on a map, any place that was under the Fidelius Charm. Luna gave the other two teens Apparation coordinates, then Harry and Hermione Apparated to the outskirts of Riddle Manor.

(Rather than Luna Apparate herself to Riddle Manor from the Grangers’ house, Harry Side-Along Apparated her. It would be distracting for Luna if she received a letter from the Improper Use of Magic Office in the middle of a battle.)

The time now was 2:59 p.m. When the trio found themselves ten feet outside the wards for Riddle Manor, the three teens had a bit over four and a half hours of daylight left.

****

Luna led Harry and Hermione to one of Riddle Manor’s wardstones—which Harry could not see, because the wardstone was Disillusioned.

What Harry did next was not something he did to the wardstone, but to himself: Harry transfigured his clothing. Now he was dressed just like Godric Gryffindor, right down to the (empty) red/yellow scabbard at his hip.

Then Harry magically created a black Goldkeh (anti-magic) ball, putting much magic into it. Harry floated the Ball of Magical Cancellation close to where the wardstone was supposed to be—and suddenly he could see the wardstone. (The wardstone’s Disillusionment spell, Harry guessed, had been demagicked.)

Harry said to Hermione, “ _Kedavrub Protego_ shield up, Hermione! The party is about to start.”

Hermione put up her AK-proof shield (as shieldless Luna smiled serenely). Then Harry moved the black ball to where the bottom third of the ball was in the same space as the wardstone. _Sluuuurp!_ The wardstone lost magic.

The anti-magic black ball had not disappeared (meaning, the ball still could absorb magic) when there was a sudden _BOOM!_ An arch suddenly formed around the wardstone, edged in glowing white. This arch was tall enough and wide enough that a fleet of lorries, side by side, could be driven through the arch.

Hermione said lowly, “The cylindrical wards round Riddle Manor now have a breach. That glowing arch defines the edge of the breach.”

Harry heard a loud hissing voice, “ _§Wardstone 4 has been breached. Wardstone 4 has been breached. Wardstone 4...§_ ”

Harry called the magic that he had put into the anti-magic ball, back into himself. The black ball faded away.

Meanwhile, through the arch that suddenly had appeared, a four-story manor house became visible. Robed and masked Death Eaters soon began to pour out of the front and back doors of the house.

Harry pointed his wand at the manor house and yelled, “ _§Expulso!§_ ” Once Harry had fired off the Exploding Curse, he said to Hermione and Luna, “Destroy everyone and everything.”

Hermione snarled, “I’ll show them the same mercy they show Muggle-borns.”

Seconds later, Harry’s Parsel-version Exploding Curse hit Tom Riddle’s grand house. The explosion was spectacular.

Harry _Sonorus_ ed himself. “Knock-knock, Tommy. It’s the Boy Who You Couldn’t Kill. Let’s party. _Quietus_.”

****

**Meanwhile (3:01 p.m)  
** **In the headmaster’s office, Hogwarts SOW &W**

Albus was writing a directive to Auror-Professor Nigel Grenwick, on the subject of school discipline. In short, Albus was writing the man to say, “Don’t be so harsh in handing out punishments. Overlook the small things.”

Miss Lovegood had managed to walk to the Infirmary unaided, so Albus considered her attack to be one of the “small things” that Nigel should take no notice of.

Now as Albus was writing, he gradually realised that something about his office seemed off-kilter.

It took Albus ten minutes to figure out what was wrong: Fawkes’s perch remained in Albus’s office, but Fawkes himself was gone.

Albus was puzzled: _Where did my phoenix go?_ Albus was sure that he had not sent Fawkes on any errand, and nobody but Albus could call the ancient bird. So why did Fawkes leave, and when would Fawkes return?

****

**Elsewhere in Hogwarts Castle**

Minerva was in her office, planning Transfiguration lessons, when there was a knock on her door. She presumed her visitor was a student. “Come in,” she said.

No student entered Minerva’s office; rather, Amelia Bones stepped in. Minerva saw Nigel Grenwick and two other Aurors standing outside the doorway of Minerva’s open door. All three men looked serious.

“Amelia?” said Minerva, who was completely unable to guess why the Director of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement might be calling on her. “What’s going on?”

“We’re here to arrest the headmaster,” Amelia said.

Minerva’s jaw dropped.

Amelia continued, “Once this happens, you’ll become the Acting Headmistress. May I suggest that you upgrade the castle wards as soon as you’ve the authority?”

“Sure, that’s a good idea,” gobsmacked Minerva replied. “Amelia, what you’re here to arrest Albus for—is it serious?”

“ _Dead_ serious, Minerva. Which reminds me: You need to hire a replacement potions-master; Severus Snape is dead.”

Minerva stared.

****

**A minute later**

The stone gargoyle stood at the bottom of the stairs that led up to the headmaster’s office, in the middle of the bottom step so as to stop anyone from climbing those stairs. To get past the gargoyle, someone amongst the would-be visitors was required to speak the correct password—

“DMLE business,” Amelia said. The gargoyle stepped aside.

Amelia Bones, Minerva, Nigel Grenwick and the two other Aurors all rode the rotating, self-rising steps up to the headmaster’s office door. To Minerva’s surprise, Amelia opened the door without knocking, then strode into the headmaster’s office.

“Amelia, what a pleasant surprise,” Albus said, his eyes twinkling. He looked completely unworried about having four blue-wand people in his office. “How may I help you today?”

Minerva said, “Albus, Severus is dead.”

“Dead? _Dead?_ Those Muggles somehow managed to kill Severus?”

 _What Muggles?_ Minerva wanted to ask. _How was Severus involved with Muggles?_

Albus looked from Minerva to Amelia. “I hope that your dedicated Aurors have arrested those Muggles and they’re in a holding cell now.”

Amelia said, “No Muggle killed Professor Snape. He died by _magical_ means.”

Albus was silent now, and his face showed confusion.

Amelia pulled a scrap of parchment from her pocket and passed it to Minerva. Written in two places on the parchment was the word _DUPLICATE_ in red. But it was _what else_ was on the parchment that had Minerva staring at the parchment in horror, then glaring at Albus in disgust.

“Would you pass that parchment to Mr Dumbledore, please?” Amelia said.

Minerva slammed the parchment down on the desk, in front of Albus. Meanwhile, three Aurors and Amelia all pointed blue wands at the headmaster.

Amelia said, “We found the original of this parchment in the deceased’s pocket. Deputy Headmistress McGonagall, do you confirm that the writing is by Mr Dumbledore?”

“I confirm,” Minerva spit. “I _definitely_ confirm.”

Then Minerva looked about. “Where is Fawkes, your _phoenix_ , Albus? He’s _flown away_ , hasn’t he? When you plotted to _murder_ Lady Potter’s parents, Fawkes flew away!”

“Bloody blimey,” Grenwick murmured.

Albus said, “I can explain this parchment, Amelia. I sent Severus to consult with Miss Granger’s parents about a _delicate_ matter. I am sorry, but I may not divulge the nature of their discussions.”

Minerva did not roll her eyes, but she wanted to. She was sure that Amelia wanted to roll her own eyes as well.

Amelia spoke formally: “Albus Percival Wulfric Brian Dumbledore, you are under arrest for conspiracy to murder nonmagical relatives of Lord Harry Potter and of Lady Hermione Potter. Drawing or waving your wand now is considered resisting arrest, and may be met with deadly force. Stand up now, so that your wrists can be enclosed in magic-suppressing handcuffs. Anything you say from now on can be used against you during your Wizengamot trial next Friday. Bannon, un-wand him and remove all hidden Portkeys. Fawley, cuff him. Detainee Dumbledore, do you have any questions?”

Albus stood up, and one of the two unknown-name Aurors said, “ _Accio_ Dumbledore wands.” _Three_ wands flew out of Albus’s robes. Seconds later, three small objects, presumably Portkeys, likewise flew towards that same Auror.

Meanwhile, Albus was saying to Amelia, “Please, tell me—if the Grangers did not kill Severus, _who did?_ ”

Amelia looked at Grenwick and the other two Aurors. “All I want the detainee to know before next Friday’s trial is that I’ve ruled the death of Professor Snape to be ‘justifiable.’ I do _not_ want the name of the professor’s killer revealed before Mr Dumbledore’s trial.”

The three Aurors nodded.

“Amelia!” yelled Albus. “I need to know: _Who killed Severus?_ ”

It was Minerva, feeling disgusted, who answered: “If Amelia refuses to tell you today, I’m sure it’s for the Greater Good.”

Then Amelia Bones looked at now-handcuffed Albus with her own face showing disgust. “I’ve already spoken with Minister Fudge, and he has given me written permission to question you with Veritaserum.”

To Minerva, Albus now looked as panicked as if he were locked in a cage with the basilisk that he had let endanger the school.

Amelia added, “And whilst I’m questioning you under Veritaserum, I’ve one or two questions about _you and my dear niece Susan_.”

“He’s been bothering _Susan?_ ” one of the Aurors muttered.

****

**Meanwhile at Riddle Manor**

Luna was annoying the Death Eaters. She was wearing canary-yellow clothing, from her earrings down to her shoes, so the evil wizards could not fail to see her.

She had no magical shield up now. Furthermore, she had not put up a shield, for even one second, since the beginning of the battle. Instead, when deadly curses were fired at her, she ... stepped out of their way.

Also, Luna had developed a nasty trick of firing curses towards seemingly empty air—then a few seconds later, a Death Eater, whilst fighting Harry or Hermione, would step into the path of Luna’s curse just before it arrived. Scratch one Death Eater. Or rather, _slice_ one Death Eater.

Luna, after five minutes of failed experiments, got _Sectumsempra_ to work for her. After Luna figured out how to cast Snape’s curse, she not only made Death Eaters die, they died in halves.

But from time to time, Luna got bored with _Sectumsempra_. So instead, Luna caused loud explosions. Death Eaters died—often after loud screaming—whilst Luna smiled dreamily.

Sometimes Luna would shoot a curse towards empty air, the curse would travel some distance, then the curse would be absorbed by a suddenly visible (and suddenly dead) Death Eater.

If Luna was dressed in eyeball-stomping yellow, Hermione was dressed in blue jeans and a Union Jack t-shirt. No Death Eater needed to be told that the bushy-haired girl next to Harry Potter had Muggle parents.

Harry was unfamiliar with some of the curses that Hermione sent out—the words she spoke were unfamiliar, and sometimes startling colours shot out of her wand. Whenever one of Hermione’s unknown curses hit a Death Eater, the results _always_ were ghastly.

Harry loved Hermione with all his heart, but he had to be honest: Sometimes his bushy-haired bookworm could be _vicious_.

Harry did not play nice today; he did not cast _Expelliarmus_ or _Incarcerous_ or _Stupefy_. Harry’s spell of choice today was an overpowered 9-millimeter Piercing Hex, fired several times at the same person. When cast wordlessly, the spell was silent and deadly, the magical equivalent of a sniper bullet. Also, one Piercing Hex, even when overpowered, did not use much magical power, which left Harry free to put more magic into his _Kedavrub Protego_ shield—and into the anti-magic ball that Harry planned to use later.

The _Kedavrub Protego_ shields that were in front of Harry and Hermione were marvels. The first ten Death Eaters to fire Killing Curses at the Potters had stood there unmoving after their own curses were reflected back towards them. Did the inbred morons try to evade the deadly spells coming their way, as Luna was so skillfully doing? No, they just stood there, undoubtedly in shock, until their own green curses hit them; then they dropped limp.

Ordinarily, luck would have run out for either Hermione or Luna by now—in circumstances where to be unlucky at all was to be dead. But thanks to that conversation with Thanatos, Harry was confident that the girls would live through today—they were _fated_ to live through today. Now Harry only had to worry about keeping _himself_ alive.

(Before the beginning of summer, Harry would not have cared if he lived or died, so long as he could keep his friends safe from Voldemort. But now in September, Harry had _so much_ to live for, and he was sure that his two closest friends were safe, even amidst this battle. For the first time in Harry’s life, he could afford the luxury of feeling selfish.)

****

Harry, Hermione and Luna were steadily advancing on Voldemort and the Death Eaters; the teens now were about halfway between the wards-failure arch and the (now uninhabitable) manor house.

A Death Eater suddenly turned and tried to run away from Harry. Voldemort, who was standing _behind_ all his fighters as he harangued them, AK’d his battle-deserting minion.

Harry grinned when he saw that the cowardly Death Eater had had a silver left hand when he had died. _You’re now worm food, Wormtail_.

How was the battle going? However-many minutes in, Harry, Hermione and Luna had not suffered so much as a scratch. As for the Death Eaters, dozens of their corpses covered the lawn round Riddle Manor.

 _Pop-p-p-pop_. Death Eaters from elsewhere were Apparating into the battle. Harry thought, _Perfect, more Death Eaters to kill_.

“ _Aw-whoooo!_ ”

 _Plus a few day-shifting werewolves have come to visit_ , Harry thought, _with Fenrir Greyback probably leading the pack_.

Voldy’s _Sonorus_ ed voice called out, “Werewolves, kill the girls. You may make sport with their corpses.”

 _I think not_ , thought Harry.

****

As soon as Tom Riddle gave his order to the werewolves, the Death Eaters stopped trying to shoot curses at Hermione and Luna. But this did not mean that the girls stopped shooting curses at the Death Eaters. Even as the howling werewolf-pack ran towards Harry and the girls, some Death Eaters ate death.

Now Fenrir (in human form) ran up to the trio, leading a pack of werewolves.

Harry thought, _Let’s see how much of a Master of Death I am_. Harry held up his hand in a _Stop_ gesture.

The werewolf pack stopped. Fenrir bowed his head and, with eyes staring at the ground, said, “You are Alpha.”

Harry said, “I am.” Then Harry raised his voice and pointed. “Werewolves, I declare Fenrir Greyback to be _Omega_. Kill him contemptuously.”

A werewolf ran up to Fenrir and bit hard into the top front of Fenrir’s trousers. Fenrir started to scream—until another werewolf ripped out his throat.

About half a minute later, after it was obvious that Fenrir was dead, the werewolves formed an oval round his bloody, misshapen corpse.

Then they all pissed on him.

Harry said, “Werewolves, form a side-by-side line, facing me.”

After the werewolves did this, Harry piercing-hexed them all with conjured silver. Scratch one pack.

****

Then Harry heard _Sonorus_ ed hissing: “ _§Harry Potter, you die now. Nagini, kill them all.§_ ”

The giant snake moved from where she was, which was next to Voldemort, to where the three teenagers were. The snake’s speed was inhumanly fast—

But five feet away from the trio, the snake stopped. Nagini looked at Harry.

Harry commanded, “ _§Deadly creature Nagini, stay still.§_ ” Because of Harry’s Master of Death power over deadly creatures, Nagini obeyed. Harry sent out a 200-millimeter (7-7/8 in.) Piercing Hex to Nagini’s head, which quite inconvenienced the big snake.

A black mist rose from Nagini’s mangled head. The mist screamed in a human voice before it dissipated.

“ _NOO!_ ” still- _Sonorus_ ed Voldemort yelled.

****

The Death Eaters (those who were still alive) were struck silent and motionless. They had seen the Dark Lord in many moods, but mournful and despairing? This was a new side of the Dark Lord, and it _scared_ his minions.

In the silence, Luna could be heard clearly: “Aw, ickle Death Eaters don’t want to play anymore? But _I_ still want to play.” Luna’s smile now was not dreamy, it was maniacal. As she smiled, she slashed three Death Eaters in half with one sideways stroke.

“Keep them busy,” Harry said to Hermione and Luna—

Then Harry _Sonorus_ ed himself. “Happy news, Tommy. Today the one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches you. You killed my parents, Tommy, and I owe you _payback_.”

So saying, Harry walked confidently towards his enemy.

****

Riddle chortled. “You think you can defeat me, Potter? Even if you turn me into a wraith again, _which you won’t_ , I shall return.”

“Sorry, Tommy, I forgot to mention: your little you-know-whats? They’re _all_ gone: the big snake, the diary, the locket, the cup, the tiara, the ring, and my scar. You’re _mortal_ now, old man.”

For as long as Harry lived, he would remember the expressions of fear, panic and hopelessness that passed across the face of the noseless Dark Lord.

Riddle fired off a green spell; Harry’s _Kedavrub Protego_ reflected it back to its caster, and Riddle barely dodged it.

“I shall still win, Pot—”

Harry murmured: “ _§Goldkeh.§_ ”

After Harry had used the Goldkeh spell earlier, to make a rip in the wards-cylinder, he had hurriedly ended the Goldkeh spell, and none of the trio had used the spell in today’s battle. So Goldkeh was a spell that no Death Eater had seen before, and it was a spell that the Dark Lord knew not.

Even as the black ball at the end of the magic stream was growing, Harry sent it to Riddle along a corkscrew path. A few inches in front of Riddle, the black ball hesitated; _Slurp_. A magical shield flashed, then died. The black ball moved forwards, into Riddle’s chest.

Riddle screamed. The Death Eaters on the torn-up lawn of Riddle Manor—those who had not been killed yet—they screamed too.

****

In the Ministry of Magic, some Pureblood employees of the Ministry (including several Aurors), all started screaming. This confused their coworkers.

****

In Azkaban Wizarding Prison, the Dark Lord’s most faithful followers all started screaming. The prison’s human guards did not hear them—because only a fool went near Rookwood or any of the Lestranges except when holding a meal tray.

****

When the Goldkeh ball finished absorbing all of Riddle’s magic, Tom Riddle himself was still alive—but every one of his minions had dropped dead.

In the silence, Hermione said, “I love you, Harry.” Riddle scowled.

Harry cast “ _§Rope his ankles together.§_ ”—which Riddle now was helpless to stop. Then Harry cast _Expelliarmus_ —which beside bringing Riddle’s yew wand to Harry’s hand, had the side effect of knocking Riddle onto his arse.

Harry snapped Riddle’s wand in half and tossed the pieces aside.

By now, Hermione and Luna—each of them completely unhurt—were standing on either side of Harry. Hermione looked down at Riddle and said, “Defeated by a halfblood, a blood-traitor and a mudblood. _Tsk_.”

Luna said, “Tom Riddle always has wanted to know the Prophecy. Will you help him out, Harry Potter?”

Harry stared into Riddle’s eyes and recited, “The one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord approaches ... born to those who have thrice defied him, born as the seventh month dies...”

Luna interrupted: “Tom Riddle, here comes the part that Severus Snape didn’t hear.”

Harry continued, “And the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal, but he will have power the Dark Lord knows not ... and either must die at the hand of the other, for neither can live while the other survives ... the one with the power to vanquish the Dark Lord will be born as the seventh month dies...”

By now, Riddle was staring at Harry’s face in horror.

As Harry finished speaking the words of the Prophecy, he felt a tug on his hip. He discovered that his previously empty scabbard was not empty now.

As Harry drew the Sword of Gryffindor, he looked down at Riddle’s face and said, “You die now, Tommy.”

“ _Wait!_ How am I defeated by a boy and two girls? Why didn’t Snape warn me about you? Why isn’t Dumbledore here, strutting and bloviating?”

“Dumbledore? Please. He isn’t here because I haven’t told him about _any_ of this. You know how he gets, Tommy—he _never_ admits he’s wrong, and he likes to cause misery to orphan boys. Also, if I took orders from Dumbledore, you’d have been unbothered by the Light till you’d surrounded Hogwarts Castle someday. As for Snape, I _killed him_ when he tried to kill Hermione.”

Riddle stared at Harry in shock. It was the last thing Riddle ever did.

Riddle’s beheading, after everything that had happened between Harry and Riddle before then, was anticlimactic.

Several seconds of silence passed as Harry wiped blood off the Sword, using Riddle’s robes. Then Harry spoke to Hermione and Luna: “I’ll never claim public credit for killing Voldy, and I ask that you don’t either. Let Wizarding Britain believe that Voldy hit his head in the bathtub and drowned.”

As soon as the Sword of Gryffindor was clean of blood, it vanished from Harry’s hand.

Each of the three teens reverse-transfigured his or her clothing to what that clothing had been at lunchtime. Whilst nobody might notice that Hermione was wearing a different Muggle outfit than she had worn to lunch, _everyone_ would notice if Luna walked into the Great Hall dressed all in Hufflepuff yellow whilst Harry was wearing a Godric Gryffindor costume.

Once the teens’ clothing was restored, daylight still had hours to go when Harry, Hermione and Luna Apparated away from the grounds of Riddle Manor, never to return.

The last thing that Harry heard at Riddle Manor was the buzzing of flies.


	18. The Next Twenty-Six Years

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> From Chapter 4—
> 
> _Auror Tonks now was looking at the floor. “I also, erm, came here to apologise. I’m related to you, Harry—my mum’s grandfather was the brother of your grandmother. I was a seventh-year Hufflepuff prefect when you two were firsties, and I wanted to introduce myself, but I never did.”_
> 
> Tonks’s age here, and how she is related to Harry, are not strictly canon, but they work better for my story.
> 
> ****
> 
> The date of Dumbledore’s death, 8th March 2021, is the same date as when this last chapter is posted.
> 
> I did something different with Dumbledore in this story. I did not work him to death in a goblin mine, or send him through the Veil, or Kiss him. Strictly speaking, all that happens to him in this chapter is that he is sent to Azkaban and dies years later, of more-or-less natural causes. But I also poetic-justiced his arse.

**Dinnertime  
** **Still Sunday, 3rd September 1995  
** **Hogwarts Castle**

The three teens Apparated from Riddle Manor directly to the seventh-floor corridor that ran by the tapestry of the ballet-dancing trolls. Harry asked the girls, “Do we need to visit the Room of Requirement for anything?”

Both Hermione and Luna shook their heads.

Harry said, “Let’s go down to the Great Hall, so we don’t miss dinner. Oh, and whilst we’re there? If anyone mentions Snape being dead, please don’t mention that we were there, and don’t mention that I killed him. Pretend ignorance.”

Hermione put her arms round both Luna and Harry. “Speaking of Professor Snape—you two saved my life. Have I thanked you properly?”

Luna said, “You’re worth saving, Hermione Potter.”

A male voice said, “Speaking of lives worth saving, may I interrupt?”

Now standing in the corridor with the teens was the incarnation of death, scythe and all. This time Harry did not panic; he asked with remarkable calm, “How can we help you, Thanatos?”

Thanatos replied, “I came here to tell you that I’ve kept my promise, Harry James Potter. You now have 985 more years of life.” All three teenagers grinned.

Then Thanatos’s voice shifted, becoming authoritative: “Also, I wish to tell you three, speaking as the army general I was, back six thousand years ago, that how you three handled Tom Marvolo Riddle and his murderous minions was sheer genius. Riddle died, you directly killed many twenties of his minions, and all three of you went unharmed. Be proud, all three of you.”

In response to Thanatos’s words, Luna kissed Harry on the cheek, then Hermione kissed Harry on the lips. Harry suspected that Thanatos did not often see mortals kissing in his presence.

****

**A minute later**

Harry walked into the Great Hall, arm-in-arm and arm-in-arm with Hermione and Luna. In the Great Hall, the trio were told that Snape was dead (cause unspecified). The three teens also were told that Dumbledore had been escorted, whilst wearing magic-suppressing handcuffs, through the Great Hall and out of the castle by Madam Bones, Senior Auror Grenwick and two other Aurors. Professor McGonagall now was Acting Headmistress.

Hermione murmured, “As many problems as Professor Dumbledore has caused you, Harry, he _deserves_ the public humiliation of being ‘perp-walked.’ ”

Lastly, so the trio was told, some older Slytherin students suddenly had screamed, then died, right here in the Great Hall, only a few minutes ago. Harry looked at Hermione and Luna and said, “What a shock.”

****

**After dinner  
** **In the Gryffindor fifth-year boys’ dormitory**

Harry asked Dobby to deliver a joint letter to Sirius and to Remus: “Peter Pettigrew and Fenrir Greyback are dead. We saw them die. In Fenrir’s case, I caused it.”

Sirius immediately elf-mailed back: “THANK YOU. A THOUSAND TIMES I SAY IT: THANK YOU.”

****

**Meanwhile, in the Gryffindor common room**

Manchester Magical Academy (MMA) offered correspondence courses in Muggle secondary-school subjects. Hermione had managed to take only two correspondence courses during her Hogwarts years; the rest of Hermione’s “free” time since September 1991 had been spent researching a thousand topics so Harry would stay alive.

Now, with Voldemort dead, Hermione wrote to MMA and asked for a catalogue of all their correspondence courses. Hermione intended to get a Muggle secondary-school education in three years (or as close to this as she could achieve). She knew Harry always would be proud of her, but she wanted to make her parents proud as well.

As Hermione owl-mailed her letter to MMA, she asked herself, _Which uni do I want to attend someday, Oxford or Cambridge?_

****

**The next day (Monday, 4th September)  
** **At breakfast in the Great Hall**

The _Daily Prophet_ headline screamed, “DEATH EATERS DIE! YKW DEAD TOO?”

Below this headline, the _Prophet_ reported that throughout Britain yesterday, a number of Purebloods suddenly screamed, then died. This included Pureblood prisoners in Azkaban. _All_ of the dead Purebloods were found to have the Dark Mark on their forearms.

Nobody whom the newspaper interviewed, had explanations how or why. Nobody at Saint Mungo’s even had guesses. Saul Croaker of the Unspeakables was quoted as saying, “We have reason to believe that You-Know-Who died yesterday. If so, the deaths of Death Eaters probably relate to Voldemort’s death.”

Harry sarcastically murmured to Hermione, “Brilliant. So much for keeping our little war quiet.”

****

**Later that day, during this term’s first day of classes**

To Harry, it was obvious that the Slytherins, both in class and in the Great Hall, were nervous. After all, with Snape dead, Dumbledore arrested and Grenwick on the prowl, the Slytherin bullies no longer were protected.

Professor-slash-Auror Grenwick led his fifth-year Gryffindor/Slytherin DADA class in a question-and-answer session. He asked the class questions, and asked students to do demonstrations, that students who had completed four years of DADA supposedly should know.

Harry and Hermione, and Daphne Greengrass, were the only students who did not embarrass themselves in class.

In fifth-year Gryffindor/Slytherin Potions, the class got another Q&A&Demo session, this time led by Potions Master Übersuppe, who spoke with a German accent. (Übersuppe forcefully told the fifth-years that he was _not_ going to be their new Potions professor.) Übersuppe spent the entire class period writing onto a clipboard with a ballpoint pen(!) as he asked, listened and watched.

As time passed, Übersuppe’s expression changed from a frown, to a deep frown, to a scowl. At the end of class, Hermione bravely raised her hand and asked him why he was unhappy.

Übersuppe replied, “Earlier today, I assessed the fifth-year Yellows and Blues; in this class, I assess fifth-year Greens and Reds. It is shameful that from four Houses, only the Greens know Potions as they should. Potions Master Snape was the”—angrily spoken German words—“teacher.”

****

**Four days later  
** **Friday, 8th September  
** **Courtroom Ten, Ministry of Magic**

Albus was told by an Auror that the five students whom Nigel had overzealously arrested for playing a rough prank on Miss Lovegood, today were expelled from Hogwarts and their wands were snapped. Albus mourned the five lives ruined because of a trifle.

Then it was time for Albus’s own trial.

As the chains-chair wrapped chains round Albus’s arms and legs, he looked about the courtroom. Before, when he had been Chief Warlock, everyone except for seat-holders in the Dark Faction had looked at Albus with friendly faces; but today every seat-holder’s face was unreadable or frowning.

Albus was puzzled why Harry, Miss Granger and Miss Lovegood were seated in the trial-witnesses section of the courtroom instead of sitting in the spectators’ gallery. Then the trial began, and Albus got the answer to his question—big time.

Miss Granger told how she, Harry and Miss Lovegood were mock-dueling when Miss Lovegood suddenly gave Miss Granger a warning, “The headmaster has ordered Professor Snape to kill your parents today!” Harry and Miss Granger both completely believed the strange warning.

The three teens Apparated to the parental Grangers’ workplace—neither Albus nor Severus had considered the possibility that the Grangers would be working on a Sunday—and the magical teens told the Grangers to not come home till Miss Granger said it was okay. Then the magical teens Apparated to the Granger house.

Miss Granger, using the _Directionis Homeni_ spell, determined that Snape was in the house alone. Harry ordered Miss Granger and Miss Lovegood to Disillusion themselves, to Apparate into the house, and to silently move to get behind Severus, making a triangle that would surround Severus. After a machine in the garage (which is the room where automobiles are stored) made a loud noise twice, Harry suddenly appeared beside the stairs within the sitting room that led up to the bedrooms.

_Madam Bones: If I understand you correctly, with you and Miss Lovegood Disillusioned, Professor Snape believed that Lord Potter entered the house alone._

_Hermione Potter: Exactly. Then Harry ordered Professor Snape to drop his wand, to leave the house and to not come back. Professor Snape actually dropped his wand. He told Harry that he’d made a vow to Harry’s dead mum, there in Godric’s Hollow, that he’d protect her son, so he’d not duel Harry in my parents’ house or anywhere else. Everything was fine, nobody was going to be hurt, then I ruined everything!_

_Madam Bones: What did you do?_

_Hermione Potter: I cancelled my Disillusionment, then I yelled at Professor Snape—I can’t remember my exact words, but it was something about him planning to kill my parents and being a bad friend. Then Snape’s wand, which had been on the carpet, jumped into his hand. He spun round as he yelled, “Lily’s son’s wife? Outside my vow!_ Sectumsempra! _” He made a slashing motion with his wand, and a curse was headed towards me! Meanwhile, he pointed his wand towards Harry and cast_ Protego _, I’m guessing he did this so Professor Snape would have a shield up to block whatever attack Harry made._

The courtroom was completely silent.

_Madam Bones: The spell-trace report on Professor Snape’s wand is entered into evidence as Exhibit 1. The last two spells cast with this wand were_ Sectumsempra _and_ Protego _. Lady Potter, please tell us what happened next._

 _Hermione Potter: Luna suddenly appeared and cast_ Protego _. The magical shield formed in front of me just in time to absorb the curse. Meanwhile, Harry yelled, “_ Lancia! Lancia! _” Harry’s Piercing Hexes punched through Professor Snape’s_ Protego _like it were parchment, then hit Professor Snape in the heart twice. He dropped like a rock._

_Madam Bones: So Lord Potter was willing to let Professor Snape leave your parents’ house without Lord Potter hurting the professor, till Professor Snape tried to kill you. Then Lord Potter killed Professor Snape to protect you._

_Hermione Potter: It wouldn’t be the first time. Harry killed a troll to save me when we were first-years._

Albus, acting in his own defence, tried to get Miss Granger questioned with Veritaserum. Minister Fudge would not allow this. Next, Albus tried to put Miss Granger on the defensive for her underage Apparation. This backfired—

_The Defendant: Miss Granger, when you traveled to your parents’ workplace, then to your parents’ house, then to places within the house, was this by elf-popping, by Floo, by Portkey or by Apparation?_

_Hermione Potter: Please address me by my rightful title of Lady Potter, Professor Dumbledore. You know better. To answer your question, all three of us made all our moves by Apparation._

_The Defendant: I am shocked that you three were willing to do something illegal and reckless like underage Apparation. I am concerned for your safety._

_Hermione Potter: That’s funny, you weren’t one bit concerned for my safety—or anyone else’s safety—when the basilisk was roaming freely through Hogwarts two years ago. I remind you that the basilisk petrified me; and it was Harry, not you, who slayed the basilisk. You did nothing—you didn’t even close the school and send kids home!_

Then Amelia brought Harry up to testify. Harry’s testimony started with Miss Lovegood’s warning, then continued up through and including two Aurors arriving at the scene after Harry had killed Severus.

_Harry Potter: One of the Aurors, whilst searching through Snape’s pockets, pulled out a parchment. Written on the parchment were both of Hermione’s parents’ names and their Muggle street address. But what struck me immediately was the handwriting—I recognised it as Dumbledore’s._

_Madam Bones: The parchment that Auror Kinnick found has been labelled Exhibit 2. Lord Potter, how did you recognise the handwriting on the parchment as the defendant’s?_

_Harry Potter: Dumbledore had written a letter to my Aunt Petunia on 1st November 1981. His handwriting is quite distinctive: His L’s are loopy, and he dots his I’s with little circles. Anyway, when you put my aunt and uncle on trial, that 1981 letter was shown in court._

_Madam Bones: A certified copy of the 1st November 1981 letter from Albus Dumbledore to Petunia Dursley is entered into evidence as Exhibit 3._

This was when Albus knew he was going to prison. There was more trial stuff afterwards—about Confundusing Susan Bones, and about choosing the Greater Good over the safety of students when the basilisk was making trouble. The icing on the shit-cake was Albus being questioned under Veritaserum about Snape and the Grangers, about Susan Bones and about the basilisk.

But those problems came later. When Harry showed that Albus had given Severus the means to find Miss Granger’s parents at home, so Severus could kill them at home without either Muggles or magicals knowing—Albus could tell at a glance that no seat-holder would vote for his acquittal. Even Arthur Weasley was scowling.

Albus was found guilty. He was sentenced to 162 years and six months in Azkaban: one year for conspiracy to murder nonmagical relatives of Lord Harry Potter and of Lady Hermione Potter (i.e, Daniel and Emma Granger); six months for casting the Confundus Charm without permission on a Pureblood minor (i.e, Susan Bones), and 161 years for 322 counts of endangerment of a magical child (because of the basilisk at Hogwarts).

Albus also was given a lifetime ban from coming near children (not that it mattered).

The problem for Albus, once he was thrown into Azkaban, was: How was Harry going to destroy the horcruxes and to defeat Tom without Albus’s wise guidance?

****

**Three days later  
** **Monday, 11th September  
** **The Great Hall, Hogwarts**

Professor McGonagall made three announcements at breakfast.

First, the Board of Governors had confirmed her as Headmistress of Hogwarts, and had confirmed Filius Flitwick as Deputy Headmaster.

Second, McGonagall had hired a new Potions professor and Head of Slytherin, Andromeda Tonks. Professor Tonks had been a Healer at Saint Mungo’s until yesterday, McGonagall informed the Great Hall.

Professor Tonks stood up and gave a short speech. She mentioned her birth family, the Blacks. “I’m the sister of Narcissa Black and of Bellatrix Black, and a cousin to Sirius Black—maybe you’ve heard of them?” Some students laughed; many students hissed in fear.

Professor Tonks mentioned her pink-haired daughter Nymphadora, “whom you students fifth-year and above will remember, and whom Auror Grenwick _definitely_ will remember.” Grenwick laughed.

Then Professor Tonks mentioned her husband Ted, “a law-wizard and a Muggle-born. _Yes_ , Slytherin students, your Head of House is a _blood-traitor_. Deal with it.”

McGonagall’s third announcement was that yesterday, Auror Grenwick had come across two Pureblood seventh-year Ravenclaw students hexing a Muggle-born Gryffindor first-year. The two Ravenclaw students had been arrested.

What McGonagall did not mention—perhaps she did not know—was that Auror Grenwick, before he had made the arrests, had been talking with Luna, and the two had wandered through the castle as they had talked. Without being obvious about it, Luna had led the Auror straight to where the firstie boy was being bullied.

****

**One week later  
** **Monday, 18th September  
** **The Great Hall, Hogwarts**

The latest issue of _Witch Weekly_ had an article in it, “The Bookworm’s Rescuer.” The article made Harry out to be Hermione’s chivalrous knight in shining armour. The troll incident, and Harry killing Snape, who was Hermione’s would-be killer, both were described in the most romantic terms imaginable. Facts were of secondary importance.

Witches of all Hogwarts Houses and from all years—even Tracey Davis and Hannah Abbott—asked Harry to autograph their copy of the magazine. Harry’s reply always was “Sure, I’ll autograph it—so long as Hermione signs it first.”

****

**The next day  
** **Tuesday, 19th September 1995  
** **Hermione’s sixteenth birthday**

Hermione Apparated to Number 12, Grimmauld Place. There she collected Sirius and Remus. Those two wizards Side-Along Apparated Hermione to the Ministry building, where she applied for her Apparation license. Since Voldemort now was dead, there was no longer any reason for Hermione’s Apparation skills not to be “official.”

To nobody’s surprise, once Hermione went through the rigmarole to get her Apparation license, she qualified for it.

To celebrate Hermione’s sixteenth birthday and her new Apparation license (and to also secretly celebrate the death of Voldemort), Sirius and Remus took Hermione to the Executive Dining Room on Level Five of the Ministry of Magic. They bought Hermione two slices of chocolate cake. (Dentists’ daughters seldom get to eat chocolate cake.)

Whilst the three magicals were eating and talking in the Executive Dining Room, a witch in her forties walked up. As Hermione was autographing the blue-haired witch’s copy of _Witch Weekly_ , the woman asked, “Is Harry Potter really like how he’s described in the article?”

Hermione’s grin was a mile wide. “Harry is like this _every day_. It’s one of the reasons I treasure being his soulmate.”

Throughout the dining room, witches’ voices said, “ _Aww_.”

****

**Eighteen days later  
** **Saturday, 7th October**

The _Daily Prophet_ reported that a joint team of Aurors and Unspeakables discovered a supposedly Muggle property, Riddle Manor, that had wards surrounding the manor house, but those wards had been breached in one place.

When the Aurors and Unspeakables entered the grounds through the wards-breach, they found, quite dead: one giant snake, eight naked men (presumably werewolves), 126 Death Eaters in robes and masks, Fenrir Greyback and (what the team believed to be) Tom Marvolo Riddle, a.k.a Lord Voldemort.

No bodies were found that might belong to Riddle Manor’s attacker or attackers.

All the corpses that were found had been dead for about a month and were severely decomposed. Many of the corpses were animal-eaten.

One month dead meant that the Spell Cause of Death, when not obvious at a glance, could not be determined. Likewise, so much time had passed that the team could not collect the killers’ magical signatures from the spells.

In short, the identities of the wizards who had killed You-Know-Who, nine werewolves, 126 Death Eaters, and a giant snake, were mysteries.

****

When the _Daily Prophet_ reported the news about the grisly discovery at Riddle Manor, the Great Hall of Hogwarts was rife with rumours and speculation. However, because Harry and Hermione had long since established that they were not interested in gossip, nobody asked them (or Luna) who they thought You-Know-Who’s killers might be.

Even so, at breakfast that morning, Harry noticed Headmistress McGonagall giving him long looks with a raised eyebrow.

****

**Twelve weeks later  
** **Monday, 1st January 1996**

Sirius and Amelia got married at Bones Manor.

Before Yule break, Harry, Hermione and Luna had _personally_ handed a wedding invitation to Senior Auror Grenwick in his office at Hogwarts.

One of the people invited to the wedding and to the wedding breakfast (wedding reception) was Headmistress McGonagall. The morning after the celebrations, when she entered the headmistress’s office at Hogwarts, she found on her desk, Hufflepuff’s Cup and Ravenclaw’s Diadem. The two Founders’ Artifacts, so McGonagall quickly discovered, were undamaged and were magically in perfect working order. McGonagall found no note saying who had left the Founders’ artifacts there. The Hogwarts house-elves could tell the headmistress nothing.

****

**Six months later  
** **Sunday, 2nd June 1996  
** **Hogwarts SOW &W**

The Weasley twins, about a week before the start of their NEWT examinations, rented from Harry the _guaranteed_ -invisible Invisibility Cloak, paying two hundred galleons.

The next morning, every professor except Grenwick had weird-coloured hair. When McGonagall sat down in the headmistress’s chair, fireworks went off for two minutes. Following the fireworks, the Slytherins broke out singing “Hoggy Hoggy Hogwarts,” with the Ravenclaws chanting “Boom-chicky” in time, and the Hufflepuffs standing up and dancing in time with the music. Only the Gryffindors and Senior Auror Grenwick went unpranked.

****

**One month later  
** **7th-8th July 1996 (during summer hols)**

Luna, Harry and Hermione went back to Sweden, again searching for the elusive Crumple-Horned Snorkack. Xenophilius Lovegood and Sirius Black were the students’ chaperones.

This year, the trip was cut short. After only one day in Sweden, Luna walked straight up to a “bunch” (Luna’s word) of Crumple-Horned Snorkacks.

Harry and Hermione discovered that when someone stroked a snorkack’s back, the snorkack’s horns played the first measure of “Rule Britannia.”

****

**Two months later  
** **Sunday, 1st September 1996  
** **Start of Harry’s and Hermione’s sixth year**

Xenophilius Lovegood, the parental Grangers, Remus Lupin, Sirius Black, and eight-months-pregnant Amelia Bones-Black loaded Harry and Hermione Potter, Luna Lovegood and Susan Bones onto the Hogwarts Express.

On the Express, Harry and Hermione were told by Parvati that Ron was repeating fifth year, and that Ron had rubbished his OWLs.

Ron on the train confronted the Potters; he _loudly_ blamed his troubles on Hermione. Hermione cursed him with a spell that made pimples on his forehead spell out _LAZY_.

****

At the Welcoming Feast, a Dennis Cassidy was the new (and permanent) DADA professor. Apparently over the summer, Headmistress McGonagall had hired the goblins to track down and to kill the infamous DADA Curse.

Harry had qualified to take sixth-year NEWT Potions, because he, to his utter shock, had scored an Outstanding on his Potions OWL exam in June. Harry was sure that if Professor Snape had taught fifth-year Potions instead of Professor Tonks, Harry would not have scored so well.

To compare, Hermione had scored Outstanding or Outstanding-Plus on each of her OWL exams in June. This had been due to a schedule of revising (studying) that Hermione had faithfully followed since mid-May. Also, once the days of OWL exams had arrived, whenever Hermione had become too frantic, Harry had given her an hour of cunnilingus.

****

In the previous twelve months (minus two days), Harry’s only problems had been toxic levels of OWL-year homework, then sitting the OWLs themselves at the end of the term. Nobody had tried to kill Harry; he was amazed.

****

**Exactly one year later  
** **1st September 1997  
** **Start of Harry’s and Hermione’s seventh year**

Hermione was Head Girl (the seventh-year female student with the highest average marks for the previous six years). Nobody was surprised.

Nobody had tried to kill Harry for two years minus two days. Harry did not know how to act.

****

**Ten months later  
** **Tuesday, 23 June 1998  
** **Dudley Dursley’s eighteenth birthday  
** **London Disciplinary High School**

_Buzzz_.

Dudley pushed the outer door open. He then walked out of the London Disciplinary High School for the first and last time, carrying everything he owned in one paper sack.

Dudley’s time at LDHS had started poorly. His first day there, someone had stolen dessert off Dudley’s tray. Dudley had chased after the thief, had tackled him, and had given the boy a good thrashing. Afterwards, Dudley had been _painfully_ spanked four times with a big paddle, for fighting. But two good things had come out of all this: the other boys never again tried to bully Dudley whilst he was at LDHS, and he had gotten the wake-up call to rein in his temper that he badly had needed.

Now at eighteen, Dudley was strong, and he was skilled at boxing. He easily could have spent the last year bullying most of the other boys in the school—and the Dudley of his fifteenth birthday would have eagerly done so.

But instead of becoming the Top Bully, Dudley at LDHS had become the _protector_ of younger and smaller boys. His protective use of his fists cost him many paddle-swats over the next three years, which _hurt_ , but his conscience stayed clear. In return for his protection, Dudley had demanded nothing from smaller and weaker boys—no money and no sexual favours. Dudley had not even demanded extra dessert from the boys he protected, which had taken real self-discipline on Dudley’s part.

Why had Dudley improved his attitude and changed his life? Because of his cousin Harry. Harry in August of 1991 had been a punch-bag for Dudley and his gang; but four years later, Harry had killed two magical _things_ that would have killed Dudley if Harry had not been there. Sometime in those four years, Harry had become magically powerful, but had he lorded it over the Dursleys? Harry had not. Dudley could not go about _abracadabra_ -ing people like Harry, but Dudley could outfight most opponents in a boxing ring; since Harry stopped himself from abusing the power he had over other people, Dudley likewise was resolved to keep control of himself.

As Dudley stepped outside into sunlight and _freedom_ , he hoped Harry would be proud of him.

****

Now outside the electrically unlocked door, Dudley _stared_ when he saw his ride. Harry was leaning against a sporty 1998 Nissan Skyline GT-R R33 coupe, with all-wheel drive; the car had been aftermarket-painted green. Clearly Harry was richer than Dudley’s father Vernon had ever _dreamt_ of being.

Dudley was introduced to Harry’s wife Hermione—a woman mentioned _often_ in Harry’s letters to Dudley. This first meeting did not go well; Hermione treated Dudley as though Dudley would start beating Harry up as soon as her back was turned.

Dudley sighed. He could not say that Hermione’s treatment of him was undeserved, and he suspected that it would take a while to convince her that he truly had changed.

During the drive, Harry said cheerfully, “By the way, Hermione and I are getting Muggle-married in Crawley on 1st July, eight days from now. Dudley, I’d like it _a lot_ if you’d attend our wedding. You’re the only nonmagical family I have—that is, who isn’t in prison.”

Shocked Dudley managed to stammer, “Yes, sure, I’d be delighted to attend your wedding.”

“Great! Tomorrow you’ll meet my godfather, Sirius Black, and he’ll take you shopping for Muggle clothes. He’s a wizard, but he’s a dapper dresser when he wants to dress Muggle.”

Hermione grinned. “ ’Cause ev’ry girl crazy about a sharp-dressed man.”

Hours later, when Dudley was lying in a posh bed in Potter Manor, he had trouble falling asleep. Yes, Harry’s manor house was bigger and posher than what Vernon Dursley had ever _dreamt_ of owning; and Harry’s manor house was filled with magic, top to bottom. Harry even had five little magical servants—one of whom would cheerfully _kill_ for Harry, Dudley was sure.

The next morning, during Dudley’s first full day in Potter Manor, Harry introduced his cousin to his portrait-parents. The portrait of Lily Evans Potter had _much_ to say to her nephew. Dudley’s redheaded portrait-aunt still was berating Dudley when Harry introduced Dudley to Harry’s grinning godfather.

****

**Seven years, two months later  
** **Saturday, 3rd September 2005**

Unnoticed by the rest of the world, Neville and Luna Longbottom, and Harry and Hermione Potter, exchanged owl-letters: “Harry, don’t you think the time has come?”

After Harry’s grudging okay, the _Quibbler_ published a statement by Luna Longbottom: “Ten years ago today, Harry Potter killed Lord Voldemort. Hermione Potter and I saw Harry kill him. No, I won’t tell you the details.”

The _Daily Prophet_ asked Harry for his comment. His comment was: “What Luna said was true. I killed Tom Marvolo Riddle to avenge my parents, and to protect both my wife Hermione and my friend Luna. I’m no hero, so I’ll skive off every ceremony you hold. I’ve nothing else to say.”

Hogwarts wanted to celebrate the historic achievement of their most famous former student. Alas, a few embarrassing facts dampened the school’s would-be party—

At the suggestion of Luna Longbottom, Harry and Hermione Potter both were teaching in 2005—at Manchester Magical Academy.

Hermione had earned a Bachelor of Arts degree from Cambridge University. Now at MMA, she was teaching fifth- through seventh-year Computer Literacy, and first- through fourth-year Charms. Harry—when he was not creating havoc in the Wizengamot as Lord Potter—was at MMA teaching first- through fourth-year DADA.

In 2005, MMA had, under Fidelius, its own *.org.uk website. Hogwarts professors in 2005 had no idea what the term _website_ even meant.

By 2005, Harry and Hermione had written a book, _The Muggles WILL Find Out_. The book argued that in less than twenty years, Muggle computer technology would be so advanced and widespread that _it was certain_ that Muggles would discover the magical world—then the Muggles would spread the news faster than the Obliviators could stop them.

The Pureblood students at Hogwarts, so Neville reported to Harry and Hermione, were annoyed by the Potters’ first book, because it meant that their days of unchallenged privilege in Wizarding Britain soon would end. But the Pureblood students were beyond annoyed, they were _furious_ , about the Potters’ second book, _Our Years at Hogwarts_.

The book began—

_We wasted seven years at Hogwarts._

_Three of our professors for core subjects were worthless, and we were a halfblood and a Muggle-born at a school that taught over and over, “Only Pureblood boys and girls are worth our time.”_

_Hermione, the highest-marked student of our year at Hogwarts, realised that her Hogwarts education made her unqualified for even the most menial jobs in the Muggle world; whereas in the magical world, Hermione’s Muggle-born status would mean that she would be last hired, first fired, never promoted, and she would be worked like a house-elf whilst unqualified Pureblood superiors took the credit for her successes._

_The worst part about our time at Hogwarts was that for our first four years, the headmaster was Albus Dumbledore. This wizard singlehandedly ruined Hogwarts, ruined Wizarding Britain and ruined Harry’s childhood. Dumbledore was secretive, foolish and was completely convinced that he was never wrong. In fact, he was wrong often._

****

**Meanwhile in Azkaban Prison**

The human guards at Azkaban, who hated working there, could not be bothered to carry either the _Quibbler_ article or the _Daily Prophet_ article to the cell of Albus Dumbledore and to show the article to him. (Plus the guards had a ready excuse for their laziness: The warden had given the guards _special orders_ about Dumbledore.)

As a result of Dumbledore never seeing the _Quibbler_ and the _Daily Prophet_ articles, Dumbledore never was told that Harry had killed Voldemort back in 1995.

Nor was Dumbledore ever told that all the horcruxes had been destroyed long ago.

****

**Meanwhile in 2005**

In 2005, Draco Black did not have a Wizengamot seat, and never would; but Draco had relatives who _did_ hold Wizengamot seats. Draco told his relatives in the Grey Faction, and even in the Dark Faction, that Harry Potter of the Light Faction was a wizard with honour, and thus could be worked with in the Wizengamot. (That is, when Potter was not teaching DADA to Muggle-borns at that Manchester school.)

Draco still remembered his _shock_ when Potter the Gryffindor had given Draco the Slytherin ten thousand galleons, when Potter absolutely had not been obliged to do any such thing. Draco’s attitude towards Potter had made a 180-degrees turn that day.

****

**Fourteen years later  
** **August 2019**

An American Muggle (who was, unbeknownst to himself, a Squib) discovered and revealed the magical world. Soon afterwards, Queen Elizabeth II gave a press conference in which she said, “I am not magical, but I have met magical people. The magical world is real.”

Suddenly every Muggle in the United Kingdom wanted to do business with Hermione Potter (Headmistress of MMA) and Harry Potter (Deputy Headmaster of MMA), and with their magical friends. The blood-purity snobs of Wizarding Britain were passed by, whilst Muggle-borns, the Potters, the Longbottoms, Sirius Black and Draco Black, and Fred and George Weasley all became rich beyond the dreams of avarice.

Instantly Harry and Hermione Potter became frequent BBC News interviewees.

By 2019, Harry and Hermione had four children—all of whom had received Hogwarts letters when they had turned eleven, but who had attended MMA instead. None of the Potter children were named Albus, Severus or any combination thereof.

Harry in 2019 had another child-relative at Manchester Magical Academy: V.V (Vincent Vernon) Dursley, a fifth-year. The boy had no paternal grandparents; by June 2016 (Vernon’s and Petunia’s scheduled release date), both of Dudley’s parents had died in Azkaban.

****

By August 2019, Neville and Luna Longbottom had had eight children—boy, girl, boy, girl, boy, girl, boy, girl. The six youngest Longbottom children would be returning to Hogwarts next month.

The Longbottoms had so many children for two reasons. The first reason was that Luna knew to the minute when she was fertile; and knew that if Neville got her pregnant today, what the gender of the child would be. The second reason was that Luna’s trait of “If Luna thinks it, she says it” apparently translated in the bedroom to “If Luna gets randy, she gets naked.” _Whenever_ Harry saw Neville after 1998, Neville was smiling.

****

**Nineteen months later**  
**8th March 2021  
** **Azkaban Wizarding Prison**

Albus Dumbledore died of old age, and of Dementor-caused stress to his organs, twenty-five and a half years into his sentence.

Since the time of his imprisonment, Albus had two burning questions that he was desperate to hear answered: “What has happened with Harry Potter? What has happened with Tom Riddle?” Albus died with those questions still unanswered.

****

For Albus’s first year in prison, he was cocky. Every day, Albus expected to be released, with the warden telling him, “Harry Potter is dead, and only you can save us from You-Know-Who!” But this never happened.

What was worse, after Albus had been imprisoned a year, the warden decreed, “Prisoner Dumbledore is tricky. Guards are not to converse with him at all. He may be told today’s date, but this is the only question that guards shall answer.”

The effect was immediate. What Hogwarts was doing, what the Ministry was doing, what the _Daily Prophet_ said—Albus stopped being told _all_ of those things. Guards would not even tell Albus the names of their spouses and children.

Needless to say, any kind of questions like _What about Harry? What about Voldemort?_ were “answered” with total silence—

—but after 2005, the guards would _smirk_ at Albus as they silently walked away from him. It was as though there was something in Albus’s questions that they found funny.

****

On 1st July 2008, which was ten years, almost to the day, since Harry surely had completely Hogwarts, Albus handed his meal-tray guard a parchment letter and asked the guard to owl-mail the letter to Harry Potter.

The guard took the letter, looked Albus in the eyes, tore the letter to pieces, then vanished the parchment-pieces on the floor. The guard did all this without saying one word.

****

“Today’s date is 27th June 2017,” the new guard told Albus. The guard had a young face, which Albus did not recognise.

Albus took a risk that this newcomer would not know about the warden’s decree of silence (now in force for twenty-one years). Albus asked the guard, “Is Harry Potter alive or dead? Is Voldemort alive or dead?”

The guard said, “The other guards warned me about you. Said you’re tricky, and obsessed with Harry Potter.”

Albus’s heart sank. _Another guard refusing to answer_.

The guard paused, as he stared at Albus. He finally said, “Harry Potter isn’t dead.”

Silence lengthened, whilst Albus waited for the guard to say more. When it became clear that the guard had nothing else to say, Albus asked, “What about Voldemort? Is he alive, or is he dead now?”

Instead of answering Albus’s questions, the guard said, “Harry Potter wrote that when he was a student, you kept secrets from him, secrets which he was entitled to know answers to. Was he right?”

Albus answered piously, “I kept secrets from Harry, yes, but I did so for Harry’s own good and for the Greater Good.”

The guard answered, “Then I won’t tell you anything about Voldemort.” The guard laughed scornfully as he walked away.

****

After that frustrating conversation with the guard, not quite four more years passed, then Albus died. Albus never learnt any more about Harry or about Voldemort than he had been told that day in 2017.

****

**Upon Albus Dumbledore’s death in 2021**

The Elder Wand, along with Albus’s other two wands, remained in an Auror evidence box till Albus’s death. Then Albus’s three wands were sold, along with nineteen other dead prisoners’ wands, in bulk at public auction. The winning bid for the twenty-two wands was ten sickles, one knut. Since the Elder Wand’s allegiance still was to Harry Potter but he was not the winning bidder, the Elder Wand never again performed better than an ordinary wand.

**The End**


End file.
